- cross-posted to:
- memes@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- memes@lemmy.world
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Are these three same guys that think that eating pussy makes you gay?
It’s no fucking wonder they’re lonely.
Have they tried not being assholes?
Anyone who says that has never been offered pussy, at least not twice. I ate pussy before I fucked pussy, although it happenned in short succession
I have always found that being good at it is a very good way to be invited back. It’s the least gay thing that you can do.
Sopranos confirmed that…never made sense…
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A lot of women find empathy sexy. The women who only go for alpha males are the ones you usually want to avoid.
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It’s kind of a thing in certain animals, but not wolves like originally claimed. The certain animals here being mostly primates, so it’s even more applicable.
That said, the politics of social primates are notoriously complex and many cultures have unique behaviors within the species, so there aren’t really any universal rules particularly among the most social groups.
TBH, Silverbacks are actually good role models: Big, bulky, sit around grooming the troupe, know everyone, emotionally support everyone, when someone wants to start a fight, intervenes, “You wanna fight? Yeah, fight me! Both of you at once, if need be!” – and then suddenly the others lost interest in fighting.
Proverbial gymbro speaking softly and carrying a big stick, far from a tyrant, you know the type. Chimpanzees are the closest to us, with warfare and everything. Bonobos are… well, they are what biologists start talking about when they want to get into your pants. Let’s just say there’s a reason you don’t see them in zoos, parents don’t want to hear kids asking those kinds of questions.
Isn’t it weird that for humans, sex is a private matter? Completely singular among all the animals. And that’s independent of social status, like a smaller sea lion seducing a female one while the big hunk de jure leading the pack isn’t looking, it’s universal. Even if sex is a group activity, then that group itself is putting up layers of privateness and propriety. Swinger clubs with fancy dress codes, doesn’t matter if you end up naked but you have to start out in suit and tie.
If a scientist would, today, discover humanity and describe their behaviour they’d be laughed out of any conference, “did you get your notes mixed up”. “Next thing you want to tell us camelopards are real”.
To add onto that, the guy that originally published the “alpha male” study spent a lot of time trying to correct public views and publish corrective studies because he discovered the behavior was only in wolves kept in captivity. IIRC.
Most people can pull a trigger.
I’m currently a stay at home husband who does all the cooking, cleaning and dishes.
Easy to throw stones when you’re not the one responsible for keeping the lights on.
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You are.
The main problem being that they’re cheapskates and won’t lift a finger for anything not directly benefitting themselves. They don’t know how to cook, and learning anything unrelated to their jobs is seen as a “waste of time”
Maybe they’re stuck trying to get ahead in their career and don’t have the mental energy to focus on anything else. Most single dudes I know are focused on their careers because where they’re at doesn’t meet their needs or isn’t enough to meet their goals even if the goal is as simple as just owning a home and be able to retire someday.
If your goals in life start and end with personal wealth, you should expect stones thrown at you. Not sure what else you’re expecting with that level of egotism.
It’s not wealth I’m after. It’s security. I want to be able to reach a point in my life where I don’t have to give 50+ hours of my time every week to some fucking company that doesn’t give a shit about me just to barely scrape by on rent and groceries. I can’t do that from where I’m so I have to save money wherever possible and build my career. Congrats to the guy I responded to for finding someone willing and capable of providing for him but most of us aren’t going to be so fortunate.
Let me be more blunt about this.
You’re going to die. No matter how much money you make, no matter whether you own your own house or not, no matter whether you can buy whatever food you fancy, you are going to die.
If you’re spending your life just thinking about how to make more money, your life is pointless. Do something better with it.
What do you propose I do? I already said I’m fucking broke. I have no space of my own to do hobbies. I can’t afford to travel. I go out with my friends a couple times a month and that kills my spending budget because everything is expensive now. I just had to buy a laptop and get my car worked on (again because I don’t have a space of my own to do it myself) and just that wiped out six months of savings. How can I think about anything but money when if I take my eye off the ball I’ll be fucked?
There is nothing universally sexier than knowing exactly who you are and being perfectly satisfied with it. Good for you, man. Congrats for the bun in the oven too. <3
Right on my dad was my stay at home parent when I was little and he was a green beret in Vietnam. He was by far my most nurturing and loving parent. I was very lucky to have had him
Reading this, specifically had me think of an old friend i had. He was always sceming. Every time i saw him he had a new one. Weather he was stealing company supplies from his employer, so he could start his own landscaping business, or asking me to use my doordash account, or wanting me to help him start a flower business, which i never helped with any of it because i dont agree with lying/cheating through life, while every bit of his life seemed some backdoor plan- I would have dated him, once apon a time, but ten years into the friendship, he sent me a ben Shapiro video, a d a few years ago, i terminated the friendship. Every thing was transactional with that man. He was good looking and kind, but my god these traits were such a turn off, I dont care if you work at hime depot, or the hardware store- my husband today is a chef- its better than scheming to rip someone off so you can get ahead. Thats selfish imo.
There really is a bit of a catch-22 in my book that’s centered completely around self confidence. If you are proud of who you are, if you are living up to your ideals, you are simultaneously much more attractive to others, and at the same time you realize that you don’t need others - but they sure are the cherry on top.
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Empathy being both a weakness and a sin…
What more proof do you need that America is a failed state?
Oh man, my eyes are hurting 🫣 with so much toxic ignorance present in this dumb meme!!
Dude I’m lonely because I’m a hypersexual libido chameleon with a long term partner who has a pandas sex drive.
If you like football and your best friend doesn’t like football, what do you do? You beg your best friend to play football… but if they really don’t like football or it is just a “once in a while thing” what you do? Probably find another friend or group of friends that like football. Your best friend likely stays your best friend but now you are happy, your best friend is not annoyed by you asking playing football and you have new friends
Of course you don’t hide or lie to your best friend on what you do and when… otherwise they would be (rightfully) upset but if you share and they are mad that you want to have new friends it’s on them to be unreasonable.
Well here Ethical non monogamy in a nutshell in a context where it is socially acceptable 🤷♂️
More sociological insights from the keen minds who teach us you need a small penis to like sports cars.
lets be honest, people who need a large gender affirming car are fun to laugh at.
Not as laughable as the assumption that “needing a large gender affirming car” was the actual reason someone bought a car, without knowing anything about them except that they’re male. Maybe that proves psychic powers are real too!
need a large gender affirming car
???
This is a projection of your own brainrot sexism, nothing more.
Don’t try to make it sound like you ever mocked a woman for having a large car, either, you’re not fooling anyone with “people”, lol.
oh no, I offended a conservative, the most easily offended demographic.
why don’t you go listen to some podcasts and cry about it
You said something stupid, and it was identified as such. That’s not being offended.
Though the fact that you had to assume several things about me personally to rationalize the way you behave, as your ego is apparently just too fragile to conceive of the possibility that YTA, says a lot, and makes me wonder if you’re available in IMAX.
What?
Anybody can create a meme, but too many people get too much of their “information” from them.
I mean, ok but I’m not really sure what you mean still. Who are you referring to? I mean it could be many people I suppose, but it usually depends on the memes they’re consuming.
I think that’s the definition of a straw man. Anyone correct me if I’m wrong.
A better example for a straw man argument would be OPs picture, as it essentially proclaims “all lonely males are just shit people and it’s their fault!”.
The guys saying the top three things aren’t necessarily the same as those saying the bottom thing. But there is definitely some overlap. Which is depressing. Though, I mean is that really that surprising given the state of the world and how stupid the average person is?
The loneliness epidemic also effects women. We’re all more lonely and miserable these days. I think really men and women are alienated from each other in large numbers due to internet brain rot. And being too broke to do anything outside except like… go to a public park or a library or something.
The shitty rightwing politics comes after, the average person is too stupid to not get immediately sucked into manipulative rightwing grift when they’re painfully lonely.
I say this as I consume internet brain rot myself. Though at least its on Lemmy and not Tik Tok, Reddit, or Facebook, and its during work, not my free time.
boss makes a dollar,
i make a dime,
that’s why i Lemmy
on company time
Best time to do anything is company time.
But going to the park or beach is fun. My first date with my partner was drinking cider on a park bench by a river.
Not everyone loves meandering around a park or beach. Though I’ll admit its good for our brains to do so. It always feels like a chore to me, I get bored.
Also was it alcoholic cider? That would explain why it was fun.
Also those places aren’t really great for meeting people and even then you don’t want to make those locations the only dating locations.
Cider is always alcoholic in the UK unless specifically sold as low alcohol. Typically first dates are not the same place you first meet someone.
- Women are male lonliness
- Everything and everyone is weakness
- I’ve made hating dishwashers my entire personality
- There’s a empathy epidemic
I’ve made hating dishwashers my entire personality
But they're so cute!
They have nice racks too.
Nice rack
Thanks but it’s rude to go commenting on other people’s racks like that, you know.
If you are lucky enough to be allowed to play with them it’s pretty safe to say something nice, but if they’re the first thing you mention or you space out staring at them, it’s like the dishwasher doesn’t even matter and you only care about the rack.
We all love handling a good rack but a good dishwasher isn’t an easy thing to come across. Focusing on just one part is kind of like invalidating all the sacrifices and hard work that are necessary for a functional dishwasher.
Maybe you don’t care about any of that and just want to put your hands on or look at a nice rack. That’s perfectly fine, but if it’s the case you might want to consider getting your own rack.
Have a nice day! :)
you might want to consider getting your own rack.
Yes that might be a solution. But it does not matter how tolerant everyone says they are, if you put a rack in a washing machine people might look at you strange. And I feel good as a washing machine, I don’t want to be a dishwasher.
I umm… I mean I guess… wat
consider getting your own rack.
Working on it!
Good luck!
I’ve made hating dishwashers my entire personality
To be fair, I really do hate my dishwasher. It is always like a 50/50 if the top rack is cleaned or the cleaning arm just fell off. Piece of junk.
Boy have I got a video for you!
Technology Connections?
Edit: yep!
You can’t talk about women like that bro
Whats a woman?
Mr Walsh you are not welcome here
Couldn’t agree more, but if you think about it…
I wish we could all come together from all gender identities, nationalities, political affiliations, social strata, educational background, skin color, hair color, favorite music style and belief system and just accepted that while circumstances are different for every one of us, there are a few really bad people, a few really good people and a lot of people that just need to feel like they belong to something in all of those dimensions.
But I guess if we did that, how would the really bad people get their votes or money from us?
I hope toxic men stop being toxic and I’m sorry to everyone that has ever been hurt by a toxic man.
Thank you for sharing the other half of this equation <3.
Apparently the patriarchy leaves women allergic to empathy.
Appreciate the support! <3
I mean everyone gets allergic from time to time but a thoughtful person will see this and adjust.
I guess It’s hard for people to feel empathy towards those who they identify as the culprits of their suffering. And since, as humans, we have trouble separating the blame of individuals with the blame of the tribes they belong to… yeah, some people consider men the problem with an occasional “but not you/him” just like some other people consider feminism/sts the problem with an occasional “but not this part/these ones”.
I think hit the nail on the head, though. It’s important for all of us to remind ourselves compassion and empathy regularly, even when difficult, because as many gender theorists and feminists have taught us, some people don’t adhere to social norm or convention. Understanding this is understanding that blaming a full demographic for anything is not only unfair and lazy, it also leads to the very worst in all of us.
Have a great day and stay awesome!
toxic men
Kinda sad and ironic, that the term “toxic masculinity” began as a way to describe how culture manufactures a harmful concept of what it means to be a man, and it seeps into men and damages them like a toxin… but now we use it to mean that the man himself is toxic, undermining the whole notion of thinking of the problem as systemic rather than one of individuals.
Anyway, I don’t think it’s helpful to pretend there’s no problem. Patriarchy is absolutely demolishing men right now, and the political right is saying “women’s fault” while the left is saying “lmao skill issue”. If we don’t get our shit together and start treating this seriously, we’re gonna have big problems.
Are you under the impression I’m conveying there is no problem?
No, not really. I didn’t downvote you btw.
Edited my original comment to avoid suggesting that.
thanks! appreciate it! I understand your point now too.
The problem with the term “toxic masculinity” is what exactly can we describe as “positive” masculinity? Is masculinity only toxic, or are there positive things that aren’t feminine?
Considering what is “masculine” is a societal construct, so the things I can think of are like: holding the door open for others, walking with people positioning yourself by the road, those sorts of “if something happens, I hope my charred corpse keeps my loved one alive” morbid acts, or in general putting yourself last on purpose.
I am of the belief that masculinity and femininity are social constructs, but that they are also not only social constructs and nothing else.
There’s a lot of interesting work around this in studies/interpretations around Jungian archetypes. Structure, courage, strength, independence, rationality, leadership and assertiveness are virtues/traits that are generally (but not exclusively) associated to masculinity. Charm, empathy, collaboration, compassion, humility, intuition, sensitivity, beauty, style and introspection are typically associated to the feminine (but not exclusively).
In essence, i read somewhere (i think an old Tarot book iirc), that which is masculine imposes and confronts, while that which is feminine contains and nurtures. Seemed to make sense, to me anyway.
edit: A quick clarification is that these are typically, at least under the Jungian and broad oriental notions, not considered mutually excluding opposites, just polarizing forces. Like broad, vague and intersecting maps of associations. The Ying Yang symbol illustrates this well. Each side has a part of the other side within itself, and each one needs the other in order to exist.
So… chivalry?
You folk should really check out Jung.
I don’t know why you’re describing my mother as masculine but she apologises
“Toxic” has a wide range of uses outside just toxic masculinity or just describing men. One of the side effects of a very therapized society is wider recognizing that some people in your life are dragging you down because their behaviour is unhealthy for all parties. Before the reaction groomed mostly into women but men to a lesser degree was to shut up, take the abuse, take the hit to the psyche, self doctor yourself using coping mechanisms that don’t address the problem directly and endure because the pressure was on being a dutiful, selfless sibling, child, partner, parent, friend etc.
Describing people as “toxic”, while like any tool can be used wrongly or hurtfully gives people a tool to shake themselves out of that cycle. When used properly it empowers people to take their own status and wellbeing seriously when they are being taken for granted, abused or bullied so that they can source the problem and engage with people in a way that wins them their agency back. When we talk about “Toxic men” isn’t effectively any different than talking about “toxic siblings” or “toxic friends” or “toxic parents” or “toxic narcissists” The only ways it differs is in the behaviour dynamics of the group in question. These people are all uniquely “toxic” but in each of those cases you probably gain a different picture of what that toxicity looks like. Those are not individuals, they are groups within our cultures the reclassification of which is systemic. What needs to be emphasized is that in all cases nobody should be forced into a relationship of any kind, friend, family or romantic. There is a society wide push for true emancipation of the individual free to establish and demolish social ties based on the merit of the tie.
In some ways this loneliness epidemic we’re experiencing may in part be due to this renegotiation of relationships in a bid to make things better overall. One could argue the development of an expectation for too perfect boundaries is maybe a contributing factor but overall the attitude across the board is “enough is enough” and that isn’t nessisarily a bad thing. If people are not forced into connections at a systemic level they can apply consent and engineer for everyone the understanding that people either must act at the very least decently if not kindly and with respect if they want deep connection.
So much of the discussion around the subject of toxic masculinity devolves into either the idea the people critiquing the behaviour are being mean towards and victimizing men but all discussions of toxic behaviours are not about victimizing the perpetrators, it’s about advocating for better conditions for the targets.
I want the Star Trek Utopia too. With MAGA rise it pushed it back probably a generation or two. Still think it’s about 300 years off. Maybe 500.
Heh. I actually hope you’re right. I don’t even believe in utopias anymore.
if the problem is that men have loneliness issues i have a solution.
it’s men, more than one, become friends.
is there a issue with modern social alienation caused by individual atomisation? yes.
should we focus on it? yes
does it mean that women owe them sex? fuck no,
Memes is now shitting on genders ? Y’all fuckers don’t know shit about empathy, and about memes either.
Anyone who claims there is a “loneliness epidemic” is just covertly saying that they are so off-putting to others that no one wants to be around them.
check fediverse comments
they’re full of hit dogs hollering
More men should read The will to change by bell hooks. Patriarchy hurts men in different ways than it does women, we are all oppressed by it, including gender-nonconforming individuals. Patriarchy stunts male emotional health and creates these unhealthy repressed feelings. Rather than blaming women, men should look towards the systems that impact our daily lives and how they force us into little boxes we don’t always fit neatly intk naturally, suffocating us and justifying the general subjugation of women.
this seems like a good application for LLM ddg llama3.3 “The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love” is a book written by bell hooks, published in 2004. The book explores the concept of masculinity and its impact on men and society. Here are some key points from the book:
- hooks argues that traditional masculinity is based on a patriarchal model that emphasizes dominance, control, and aggression, which can be harmful to both men and women.
- She contends that this model of masculinity is rooted in a fear of vulnerability, intimacy, and emotional expression, which can lead to violence, addiction, and other forms of destructive behavior.
- hooks suggests that men need to develop a more nuanced and inclusive understanding of masculinity, one that values emotions, relationships, and mutual respect.
- She also argues that men need to take responsibility for their own emotional and psychological well-being, rather than relying on women to care for them.
- The book explores the ways in which patriarchal culture perpetuates violence, racism, and homophobia, and how these systems of oppression intersect and reinforce one another.
- hooks emphasizes the importance of men engaging in feminist activism and working to dismantle patriarchal systems of power.
- She also highlights the need for men to develop healthy relationships with women, children, and other men, based on mutual respect, trust, and communication.
- Throughout the book, hooks draws on a range of sources, including psychology, sociology, philosophy, and personal experience, to create a rich and nuanced exploration of masculinity and its possibilities for transformation.
Overall, “The Will to Change” is a thought-provoking and deeply personal book that challenges readers to think critically about the ways in which masculinity is constructed and performed, and to imagine new possibilities for men and women to live together in greater equality and mutual respect.
- Since you’ve read it does the book also deal with mistake mismanagement? I think the root cause for male loneliness is societies pressure to not make any mistakes and cancel culture. Men don’t wanna be seen as creepy and therefore don’t even bother talking to women anymore since the standard of not being ugly, compared to tropes fueled by social media is unachievable.
Appreciate the key points!
hooks suggests that men need to develop a more nuanced and inclusive understanding of masculinity, one that values emotions, relationships, and mutual respect.
Yep, written by a woman. Replace that with “value traversing rivers on couches strapped to floats and having a blast with the pals” and you’ll get somewhere.
Valuing something already is an emotion so you’re being emotional about being emotional about something so, yeah, no. Go climb a tree, create a tasty recipe, fix a shoe. Shave the soap.
It is so fucking odd, how many people are claiming that e.g. the male loneliness issue is blaming women and then agree with your post.
I agree with your post. I just don’t understand how so many people here can agree that the patriarchy is harming men and is e.g. isolating men, but then turn around and act like mentioning the symptoms and talking about them, makes you misogynistic.
I don’t get it. Women have my support, I just hope I will have theirs too.
I support mens health.
Ive a million stories of hurt men who didnt deal or heal well with their hurt, and ended up hurting others (and themselves) for it. Usually its some tragic thing that happened when they were young and never dealt with it, because culturally men have been told to shove it down and man up for decades at least. But, I’ve been told many a tragedy from male family members, friends and ex lovers. And then watched them go from victim to abuser, or some other consequence, and its sad
Men should be taught, and allowed to express themselves. Its literally okay to cry, its a process of emotion.
Support fellow humans
Fr. A male friend of mine got into make up. Nail polish and such. I notice men who do this, stick to safe black. I asked if he wanted more colour, and he did. I remember cracking being a thing back in 2008 or so. A great caviat to go from just black, to black with colour! Perhaps men could bring this back into fashion lol
I haven’t read this one, but anything by bell hooks is a banger.
I liked it a lot! I know people talk about the patriarchy a lot, and thus a lot of what it puts forward isn’t “new,” but the depth hooks goes in on the various facets of patriarchy specifically really helps a lot.
I appreciate you taking the time to suggest steps for a better society. I followed the link and read what was available, but there were only a few pages until the index + the front and back cover. I’ll probably look into finding a full copy later. Thanks for thinking about us. <3
I'd like to share my personal story if that's ok. Wall of text incoming and only read if you genuinely want to.
I want to share this because I have an honest question from a place of wanting to be a better person. I realize this isn’t about me, but in order for me to be in service of people other than myself, it is necessary for me to understand some things. I’m respectfully requesting help with that, to you or those willing to educate.
The second part of the meme hits really close to home to me because it’s something lots of men are taught at a young age in a traumatic manner. In my case I can’t count the amount of times I was told to “be a man” or asked if I was “gonna cry like a girl” which could happen literally anywhere by anyone, especially caretakers.
I went to an all boys school. I vividly remember the father of one of my classmates coming to talk to the class when my classmate missed school one day. He begged. Literally, begged to the class to stop teasing and bullying his son because he was going to kill himself any day. This was the 8th grade and was not a one time thing. He was a sensitive kid and got teased for it. He got called the f word a lot in a place and time where coming out of the closet as sexually diverse was considered “valid” grounds for physical violence/abuse by most men. Verbal abuse at the very least.
I was a weird and sensitive kid myself and got teased and bullied as well, but never that much. Was really timid, awkward and shy, but I usually got away with not being beaten up all the time or being straight out emotionally tortured all day like some were, by letting other kids cheat off me. This got me “protection” from some bullies that sat next to me. When I think about how I felt back when I was a kid, all I can remember is fear and wanting to be invisible. Constant fear. I had a whole lot of anger too, but usually lashed out on myself alone. Too scared of everything and everyone to get angry at anyone but myself. My family setting wasn’t a picnic either, but that’s a different story.
Basically, any time anyone gave me any kind of attention, including my parents, I perceived it as a dangerous threatening situation that made me feel uneasy.
I realize most people have been wronged by one or more men in much worse ways. I’m sorry and those of us who have harmed or still harm have no excuse. I shared my story so you understood what became my responsibility and duty to unlearn and remedy to not continue the endless samsara of victimization. I genuinely have been putting in the work I’ve found useful to help me stop causing people harm. Have taken this very seriously for more than decade now.
Here’s my question, in honest good faith.
Do you understand that a book that is intended to be used as a blueprint for positive masculinity that begins by requiring men to “understand patriarchy” can feel, to some men, like when catholic missionaries went to “uncivilized cultures” and made sure everyone “understood the gospel” and was very clear about having original sin and being impure and them needing to be saved?
This is not a rhetoric device I want to use against you or anyone. I am requesting empathy and suggestions on how to deal with this. Like, do you understand that it feels like some people are telling us men that we are devoid of value or have no legitimacy as humans unless we adhere to a specific belief system or “treatment”? Do you have any advice or suggestions for us or idk can you offer insight?
I realize many broken people such as myself and my classmates can become full grown monsters and society should do something that avoids monsters being bred and to treat, lock or remove people that have become monsters.
I just want to know if you understand this, and if you do, my request is you please share your thoughts.
Having read your story, I think you’ll actually love what bell hooks has to say, here. When I said patriarchy affects men and women in different ways, your story is exactly what I mean. Patriarchy puts men into very narrow boxes of what is deemed “acceptable,” and destroys what is outside that boundary. Women are impacted more by patriarchy than men are, but The will to change is a call to action to liberate both women and men from its shackles. It’s a deeply empathetic work that touches on stories very similar to yours, not a condescending authority piece. hooks writes with a deep love and a desire for herself to grow as well, frequently she speaks of her own mistakes and negative feelings towards men such as her father, and how she came to forgive and love him.
Trust me, you’ll love this book by the sounds of it.
Thanks for reading. Gonna look it up right now.
No problem! As a pansexual man myself, who was often bullied relentlessly for being sensitive myself (I was closeted my whole life through schooling and am only recently coming out more), I never felt like hooks was invalidating my experience in any way.
I’m really sorry about what you has to deal with in your past. <3
I’m about 1/6th through the book now and feel the same way.
I mean, if i’m being perfectly honest, i feel like the term “patriarchy” is a little unfair but also I get why it would be chosen and a necessary concept to build from. I guess I feel like no one sex or gender built society on their own and the suggestion of attribution by nomenclature feels like a misleading simplification. This is not something that i’ll lose sleep over, though, and i’m open to hearing out why i’m wrong.
Gonna get back to the book now. It really is a compassionate message. Thanks again.
Glad I could be of help!
