- cross-posted to:
- memes@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- memes@lemmy.world
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Memes is now shitting on genders ? Y’all fuckers don’t know shit about empathy, and about memes either.
check fediverse comments
they’re full of hit dogs hollering
This is just a toxic gender wars meme. Go outside, touch some grass, meet someone nice and move on with life. Memes like this come from and perpetuate the loneliness epidemic.
Accurately observing that the “male loneliness epidemic” is self-inflicted bullshit isn’t “toxic gender wars” except if you are a right wing traitor lunatic.
> capitalism
> self-inflictedSure, bud.
Lmao is a worthless traitor dumbfuck trying to pretend that capitalism is the root cause of “male loneliness”? That’s some bottom of the barrel thinking even for incels. Reminds me of the braincel shitbag who said women should be redistributed via Marxism. Shore bud indeed, traitor.
Alienation. Exploitation. Heard of it?
Capitalism has bereft men even of the patriarchal provider role as there’s no fucking time in the day to earn both rent and have any type of social interaction, much less time to reflect on your approach to life. Your position as a gear churning out profit for the bosses has been meticulously designed and drilled into you while you were a kid, blind obedience instilled by teachers and BS “zero tolerance punish the victim” rules. There is no use for you aside from that assigned role, happiness, connection, community, work//life balance? Don’t make a profit. Get out of here with that commie nonsense we have quarterly figures to hit.
Or, maybe, yes, you do have a point: I should have said late-stage capitalism. The internal contradictions are actively eroding it by now.
That’s not at all what people mean at all. Men are not more alienated than any other gender by capitalist lunacy. This “male loneliness epidemic” is a euphemism for late stage male supremacy.
You’re right after that comes the patriarchal, or just gendered, double-whammy: Women culturally do have more of a support network, even just in the “friends hanging out” way, as the male “do things together, chop wood, go fishing” is regarded as work, not leisure, and thus co-opted by capitalism: “What do you need to chop food and fish for, go buy fuel and food are you poor or something”. Thus all the productive time men have is spent in a hierarchical worker-boss environment, never “pals doing stuff”, cue loss of connection, alienation from broader society, loneliness. Going bowling? Time not spent hustling, you’re a loser. That’s your mind on patriarchal capitalism.
Thus, even if the starting conditions inflicted by capitalism are, for the sake of argument, completely even, it still hits men harder when it comes to loneliness. Women are more affected in other ways. This isn’t an olympics, it’s analysis of the material conditions we live under.
Wow yikes. You sound like fun at parties. Go find someone to care about.
For the record, I think there is a loneliness epidemic for both genders.
Couldn’t agree more, matey :)
deleted by creator
Empathy being both a weakness and a sin…
What more proof do you need that America is a failed state?
Oh man, my eyes are hurting 🫣 with so much toxic ignorance present in this dumb meme!!
Dude I’m lonely because I’m a hypersexual libido chameleon with a long term partner who has a pandas sex drive.
If you like football and your best friend doesn’t like football, what do you do? You beg your best friend to play football… but if they really don’t like football or it is just a “once in a while thing” what you do? Probably find another friend or group of friends that like football. Your best friend likely stays your best friend but now you are happy, your best friend is not annoyed by you asking playing football and you have new friends
Of course you don’t hide or lie to your best friend on what you do and when… otherwise they would be (rightfully) upset but if you share and they are mad that you want to have new friends it’s on them to be unreasonable.
Well here Ethical non monogamy in a nutshell in a context where it is socially acceptable 🤷♂️
Ah, the classic generalization of men and women as singular groups where everyone acts as one.
There are certain shitty men who objectify women and play alphas. There is the general category of men who get shitted at because of it, whether they belong to the former or not.
Sure, being afraid of the shitty folks is a valid reason to be cautious around everyone, as you can’t easily tell one from the other. But saying that all men just made this stuff up while being total asses wouldn’t be fair or helpful.
To be clear: there is a male loneliness epidemic driven by ever increasing caution about men overall. Men are often unfairly denied attention they need because they are seen as potential dangers by women and might be ridiculed for speaking out about their feelings by men (which, in turn, do it to protect themselves from the same treatment in an unhealthy patriarchal culture).
This is not healthy; moreover, being in that state of loneliness and frustration is prone to radicalizing people, making sayings about dangerous men a self-fulfilling prophecy in one case, and just causing a lot of misery in the other.
If you’re a woman, I’d suggest giving a bit of attention to the men around you. There is a million of untold stories there, and making someone open up to you for the first time is a great and rewarding experience. Or just…be there, and that will be appreciated.
Uh where’s the generalization here? The post didn’t say “all men” anywhere in it. It’s suggesting that people who say the first things lead to saying the later things, leading to their loneliness. Not every man is lonely… but a lot who are make everyone uncomfortable because of the shit they say.
Valid perspective; but I think it’s quite clearly implied given the scale of the issue. The male loneliness is real, and shouldn’t be written off as shit misogynists say, even if it was popularized by them. This kind of discarding might hurt men who have nothing to do with misogynistic talking points, opinions, or actions.
I don’t think the loneliness epidemic is uniquely male though. It’s an affliction of this entire generation. There is a specific subset of men that have been radicalized against women as a scapegoat for the loneliness they feel, but the true cause is increasing alienation driven by capitalism. The specific mechanism not being limited to the commodification of our attention that has been enabled by the advent of high speed internet.
Absolutely! Everyone gets lonelier as we are getting divided; it’s just that it’s even harder on men specifically, as there are additional factors at play. But it doesn’t mean women don’t experience similar things.
I disagree strongly and I don’t think you get what I’m saying. It’s not a competition and there’s no need to dismiss the feelings of one side or the other. If you are a man, and especially if you are occupied by a specific focus on men, you cannot know the extent of women’s loneliness or the impact that it has on women. The same goes vice versa. The issue is too nebulous, too subjective and complexly intertwined with too many different aspects of our lives as humans. It’s a fool’s errand.
It doesn’t matter who has it harder, because the root cause is the same. Addressing this root cause will help every person experiencing loneliness in the modern age regardless of gender. Any other solution is just treating the symptoms and will inevitably result in people being left out and marginalized. People who matter. It will inevitably result in division, which hurts our ability to unite and fight for a common cause.
This stoking of a needless war between the genders is a counter-revolutionary tactic employed by the ruling class to keep us fighting amongst ourselves instead of challenging their power. They want us focused on pushing forward half-measures; measures that can be easily struck down, agitated against, that will keep us going in circles; measures that do not fundamentally challenge the systems that created these issues in the first place and, in fact, depend on the persistence of these issues.
I totally agree with you that gender wars are artificial and meant to distract people from the core issues. Divide and conquer kinda thing.
But that sits exactly at the core of my initial argument. Blaming wide groups of people, among other things, provides completely unnecessary wars out of thin air.
This doesn’t deny the fact that people of each gender may face issues that are gender-specific to some degree. Men are more likely to be socially isolated, women are more likely to become victims of sexual abuse, etc. etc. This doesn’t mean we should measure who has it worse, but it has to be taken into consideration if we want to correct the course and make everyone actually equal. In this case, we need to address specific sources of male loneliness, as there are some factors unique to men that lead to this.
People acting on gender issues together, not as two divided groups, is a great exercise in civil power and unity, which is helpful for any revolutionary activity.
That’s their problem for feeling entitled to human interaction. You need to learn that none of us really matter, and the only one you can trust is yourself.
Learn to be content with just being, and surviving, or perish.
I’m really sorry you feel that way, genuinely, but this deeply antisocial sentiment is not a depiction of a reality that is compatible with human life. Please seek help from a qualified professional. I mean that.
My wife sometimes stops to compliment me because she knows men don’t often receive compliments. I always appreciate that.
That’s how you know she should be your wife :)
But really, this should be more normalized. I’ve heard the opinion that many men see compliments as a way to show sympathy when that wasn’t intended, but I think this is exactly because it’s so rare.
My girlfriend also takes time to compliment me, and I appreciate it.
Haha I love this meme, it’s so true
- Women are male lonliness
- Everything and everyone is weakness
- I’ve made hating dishwashers my entire personality
- There’s a empathy epidemic
I’ve made hating dishwashers my entire personality
To be fair, I really do hate my dishwasher. It is always like a 50/50 if the top rack is cleaned or the cleaning arm just fell off. Piece of junk.
Boy have I got a video for you!
Technology Connections?
Edit: yep!
You can’t talk about women like that bro
Whats a woman?
Mr Walsh you are not welcome here
I’ve made hating dishwashers my entire personality
But they're so cute!
They have nice racks too.
Nice rack
Thanks but it’s rude to go commenting on other people’s racks like that, you know.
If you are lucky enough to be allowed to play with them it’s pretty safe to say something nice, but if they’re the first thing you mention or you space out staring at them, it’s like the dishwasher doesn’t even matter and you only care about the rack.
We all love handling a good rack but a good dishwasher isn’t an easy thing to come across. Focusing on just one part is kind of like invalidating all the sacrifices and hard work that are necessary for a functional dishwasher.
Maybe you don’t care about any of that and just want to put your hands on or look at a nice rack. That’s perfectly fine, but if it’s the case you might want to consider getting your own rack.
Have a nice day! :)
you might want to consider getting your own rack.
Yes that might be a solution. But it does not matter how tolerant everyone says they are, if you put a rack in a washing machine people might look at you strange. And I feel good as a washing machine, I don’t want to be a dishwasher.
I umm… I mean I guess… wat
consider getting your own rack.
Working on it!
Good luck!
Couldn’t agree more, but if you think about it…
I wish we could all come together from all gender identities, nationalities, political affiliations, social strata, educational background, skin color, hair color, favorite music style and belief system and just accepted that while circumstances are different for every one of us, there are a few really bad people, a few really good people and a lot of people that just need to feel like they belong to something in all of those dimensions.
But I guess if we did that, how would the really bad people get their votes or money from us?
I hope toxic men stop being toxic and I’m sorry to everyone that has ever been hurt by a toxic man.
I want the Star Trek Utopia too. With MAGA rise it pushed it back probably a generation or two. Still think it’s about 300 years off. Maybe 500.
Heh. I actually hope you’re right. I don’t even believe in utopias anymore.
toxic men
Kinda sad and ironic, that the term “toxic masculinity” began as a way to describe how culture manufactures a harmful concept of what it means to be a man, and it seeps into men and damages them like a toxin… but now we use it to mean that the man himself is toxic, undermining the whole notion of thinking of the problem as systemic rather than one of individuals.
Anyway, I don’t think it’s helpful to pretend there’s no problem. Patriarchy is absolutely demolishing men right now, and the political right is saying “women’s fault” while the left is saying “lmao skill issue”. If we don’t get our shit together and start treating this seriously, we’re gonna have big problems.
“Toxic” has a wide range of uses outside just toxic masculinity or just describing men. One of the side effects of a very therapized society is wider recognizing that some people in your life are dragging you down because their behaviour is unhealthy for all parties. Before the reaction groomed mostly into women but men to a lesser degree was to shut up, take the abuse, take the hit to the psyche, self doctor yourself using coping mechanisms that don’t address the problem directly and endure because the pressure was on being a dutiful, selfless sibling, child, partner, parent, friend etc.
Describing people as “toxic”, while like any tool can be used wrongly or hurtfully gives people a tool to shake themselves out of that cycle. When used properly it empowers people to take their own status and wellbeing seriously when they are being taken for granted, abused or bullied so that they can source the problem and engage with people in a way that wins them their agency back. When we talk about “Toxic men” isn’t effectively any different than talking about “toxic siblings” or “toxic friends” or “toxic parents” or “toxic narcissists” The only ways it differs is in the behaviour dynamics of the group in question. These people are all uniquely “toxic” but in each of those cases you probably gain a different picture of what that toxicity looks like. Those are not individuals, they are groups within our cultures the reclassification of which is systemic. What needs to be emphasized is that in all cases nobody should be forced into a relationship of any kind, friend, family or romantic. There is a society wide push for true emancipation of the individual free to establish and demolish social ties based on the merit of the tie.
In some ways this loneliness epidemic we’re experiencing may in part be due to this renegotiation of relationships in a bid to make things better overall. One could argue the development of an expectation for too perfect boundaries is maybe a contributing factor but overall the attitude across the board is “enough is enough” and that isn’t nessisarily a bad thing. If people are not forced into connections at a systemic level they can apply consent and engineer for everyone the understanding that people either must act at the very least decently if not kindly and with respect if they want deep connection.
So much of the discussion around the subject of toxic masculinity devolves into either the idea the people critiquing the behaviour are being mean towards and victimizing men but all discussions of toxic behaviours are not about victimizing the perpetrators, it’s about advocating for better conditions for the targets.
The problem with the term “toxic masculinity” is what exactly can we describe as “positive” masculinity? Is masculinity only toxic, or are there positive things that aren’t feminine?
Considering what is “masculine” is a societal construct, so the things I can think of are like: holding the door open for others, walking with people positioning yourself by the road, those sorts of “if something happens, I hope my charred corpse keeps my loved one alive” morbid acts, or in general putting yourself last on purpose.
So… chivalry?
You folk should really check out Jung.
I am of the belief that masculinity and femininity are social constructs, but that they are also not only social constructs and nothing else.
There’s a lot of interesting work around this in studies/interpretations around Jungian archetypes. Structure, courage, strength, independence, rationality, leadership and assertiveness are virtues/traits that are generally (but not exclusively) associated to masculinity. Charm, empathy, collaboration, compassion, humility, intuition, sensitivity, beauty, style and introspection are typically associated to the feminine (but not exclusively).
In essence, i read somewhere (i think an old Tarot book iirc), that which is masculine imposes and confronts, while that which is feminine contains and nurtures. Seemed to make sense, to me anyway.
edit: A quick clarification is that these are typically, at least under the Jungian and broad oriental notions, not considered mutually excluding opposites, just polarizing forces. Like broad, vague and intersecting maps of associations. The Ying Yang symbol illustrates this well. Each side has a part of the other side within itself, and each one needs the other in order to exist.
I don’t know why you’re describing my mother as masculine but she apologises
Are you under the impression I’m conveying there is no problem?
No, not really. I didn’t downvote you btw.
Edited my original comment to avoid suggesting that.
thanks! appreciate it! I understand your point now too.
Thank you for sharing the other half of this equation <3.
Apparently the patriarchy leaves women allergic to empathy.
Appreciate the support! <3
I mean everyone gets allergic from time to time but a thoughtful person will see this and adjust.
I guess It’s hard for people to feel empathy towards those who they identify as the culprits of their suffering. And since, as humans, we have trouble separating the blame of individuals with the blame of the tribes they belong to… yeah, some people consider men the problem with an occasional “but not you/him” just like some other people consider feminism/sts the problem with an occasional “but not this part/these ones”.
I think hit the nail on the head, though. It’s important for all of us to remind ourselves compassion and empathy regularly, even when difficult, because as many gender theorists and feminists have taught us, some people don’t adhere to social norm or convention. Understanding this is understanding that blaming a full demographic for anything is not only unfair and lazy, it also leads to the very worst in all of us.
Have a great day and stay awesome!
Are these three same guys that think that eating pussy makes you gay?
It’s no fucking wonder they’re lonely.
Have they tried not being assholes?
Sopranos confirmed that…never made sense…
Anyone who says that has never been offered pussy, at least not twice. I ate pussy before I fucked pussy, although it happenned in short succession
I have always found that being good at it is a very good way to be invited back. It’s the least gay thing that you can do.
I’m currently a stay at home husband who does all the cooking, cleaning and dishes. I never felt manlier and have never been so attractive to women (according to my wifes friends at least). Looking forward to our first child arriving soon.
I have plenty of single male friends who seem stuck in their early 20s (even though they’re approaching 40). Their only care in the world seem to be “the economy” (something they barely understand), and whatever the newest *-maxxing scam is being promoted on Instagram that will magically make women gravitate towards them. They’re all pretty good looking and mostly nice people. The main problem being that they’re cheapskates and won’t lift a finger for anything not directly benefitting themselves. They don’t know how to cook, and learning anything unrelated to their jobs is seen as a “waste of time”.
I’m very happy I didn’t get stuck in that sort of rut as I’ve seen how easy it was for my friends.
Right on my dad was my stay at home parent when I was little and he was a green beret in Vietnam. He was by far my most nurturing and loving parent. I was very lucky to have had him
A lot of women find empathy sexy. The women who only go for alpha males are the ones you usually want to avoid.
Alpha male isn’t even a thing. Not even in nature. People who call themselves that are mostly delusional assholes no-one likes.
It’s kind of a thing in certain animals, but not wolves like originally claimed. The certain animals here being mostly primates, so it’s even more applicable.
That said, the politics of social primates are notoriously complex and many cultures have unique behaviors within the species, so there aren’t really any universal rules particularly among the most social groups.
TBH, Silverbacks are actually good role models: Big, bulky, sit around grooming the troupe, know everyone, emotionally support everyone, when someone wants to start a fight, intervenes, “You wanna fight? Yeah, fight me! Both of you at once, if need be!” – and then suddenly the others lost interest in fighting.
Proverbial gymbro speaking softly and carrying a big stick, far from a tyrant, you know the type. Chimpanzees are the closest to us, with warfare and everything. Bonobos are… well, they are what biologists start talking about when they want to get into your pants. Let’s just say there’s a reason you don’t see them in zoos, parents don’t want to hear kids asking those kinds of questions.
Isn’t it weird that for humans, sex is a private matter? Completely singular among all the animals. And that’s independent of social status, like a smaller sea lion seducing a female one while the big hunk de jure leading the pack isn’t looking, it’s universal. Even if sex is a group activity, then that group itself is putting up layers of privateness and propriety. Swinger clubs with fancy dress codes, doesn’t matter if you end up naked but you have to start out in suit and tie.
If a scientist would, today, discover humanity and describe their behaviour they’d be laughed out of any conference, “did you get your notes mixed up”. “Next thing you want to tell us camelopards are real”.
To add onto that, the guy that originally published the “alpha male” study spent a lot of time trying to correct public views and publish corrective studies because he discovered the behavior was only in wolves kept in captivity. IIRC.
Most people can pull a trigger.
Reading this, specifically had me think of an old friend i had. He was always sceming. Every time i saw him he had a new one. Weather he was stealing company supplies from his employer, so he could start his own landscaping business, or asking me to use my doordash account, or wanting me to help him start a flower business, which i never helped with any of it because i dont agree with lying/cheating through life, while every bit of his life seemed some backdoor plan- I would have dated him, once apon a time, but ten years into the friendship, he sent me a ben Shapiro video, a d a few years ago, i terminated the friendship. Every thing was transactional with that man. He was good looking and kind, but my god these traits were such a turn off, I dont care if you work at hime depot, or the hardware store- my husband today is a chef- its better than scheming to rip someone off so you can get ahead. Thats selfish imo.
There is nothing universally sexier than knowing exactly who you are and being perfectly satisfied with it. Good for you, man. Congrats for the bun in the oven too. <3
There really is a bit of a catch-22 in my book that’s centered completely around self confidence. If you are proud of who you are, if you are living up to your ideals, you are simultaneously much more attractive to others, and at the same time you realize that you don’t need others - but they sure are the cherry on top.
I’m currently a stay at home husband who does all the cooking, cleaning and dishes.
Easy to throw stones when you’re not the one responsible for keeping the lights on.
Who’s throwing stones? These friends are clearly unhappy and only getting worse because of dumb shit on social media. I’d help them if they’d listen.
You are.
The main problem being that they’re cheapskates and won’t lift a finger for anything not directly benefitting themselves. They don’t know how to cook, and learning anything unrelated to their jobs is seen as a “waste of time”
Maybe they’re stuck trying to get ahead in their career and don’t have the mental energy to focus on anything else. Most single dudes I know are focused on their careers because where they’re at doesn’t meet their needs or isn’t enough to meet their goals even if the goal is as simple as just owning a home and be able to retire someday.
If your goals in life start and end with personal wealth, you should expect stones thrown at you. Not sure what else you’re expecting with that level of egotism.
It’s not wealth I’m after. It’s security. I want to be able to reach a point in my life where I don’t have to give 50+ hours of my time every week to some fucking company that doesn’t give a shit about me just to barely scrape by on rent and groceries. I can’t do that from where I’m so I have to save money wherever possible and build my career. Congrats to the guy I responded to for finding someone willing and capable of providing for him but most of us aren’t going to be so fortunate.
Let me be more blunt about this.
You’re going to die. No matter how much money you make, no matter whether you own your own house or not, no matter whether you can buy whatever food you fancy, you are going to die.
If you’re spending your life just thinking about how to make more money, your life is pointless. Do something better with it.
What do you propose I do? I already said I’m fucking broke. I have no space of my own to do hobbies. I can’t afford to travel. I go out with my friends a couple times a month and that kills my spending budget because everything is expensive now. I just had to buy a laptop and get my car worked on (again because I don’t have a space of my own to do it myself) and just that wiped out six months of savings. How can I think about anything but money when if I take my eye off the ball I’ll be fucked?
This meme is pathetic and offensive.
Offensive to who?
Every lonely man who doesn’t fit the played out internet stereotype of an incel. You likely see several of them a day.
To say that being an asshole makes you lonely doesn’t mean that all lonely men are assholes.
I feel like that is not what op said
Exactly. And that’s why I don’t think it’s offensive.
To the misogynists on Lemmy
People who are not misandrists?
god this place is full of incels. grow a pair. real men don’t whine and blame other people. real men take responsibility and find solutions. real men have mature emotional intelligence. real men understand women’s wants and needs. real men pick up on cues and don’t make things awkward. maybe if you spent some time interacting with real people in real life, you wouldn’t be bitter.
the meme is perfect, btw.
Real men definitely whine and blame other people, millions of them are doing it every day.
Real men are a spook
