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All the workers have forearm tattoos
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At least 3 people are wearing beanies in the middle of summer
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Bacon is $4 extra
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The burger comes out on a bun drenched in butter and is so greasy/oily that halfway through it may as well have been served in a bowl
I hat that brushed butter bullshit. If you want a butter burger, it goes on the hamburger patty,
It’s also a dry pretzel bun
The biggest disappointment
Also:
- The waiter has a twirled moustache and wears a mesh shirt combined with a bowler hat
- The $4 extra bacon is burned to charcoal strips
God I wish my wish waiter wore a mesh shirt, where the hell is this?
In a place where touching the waiters is not included, sorry ;)
Drinks are served in jars, and your fries, well, you get 8 fries in a rusty old can.
A guy is laying in the corner working on his MacBook wearing those brown Marshall headphones
The place is being run by 3 bearded lumbersexuals in flannel and ball caps having the time of their lives and a chick in overalls and her hair in a bandanna who could not be more over it.
Also the heat is cranked up uncomfortably high. The air is muggy. The whole place smells of onion.
The sound is provided entirely by a neglected Technics 1200 that nobody knows how to adjust accept the barback that only works on Wednesdays and Fridays.
At this point pretty much all BOH staff in any resto are packing tons of tats. Probably easier to count the ones who don’t
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Pffftahahaha, I think I’ve been to this restaurant. I probably looked at the menu, eyes bugged out of head, ordered a cider or something and left.
Virgin orders something cheap out of obligation vs Chad “prices are too high, I’ll just eat at home”
you ordered something? About time I saw that I would just say nvm lol
Denim aprons denim aprons denim aprons
Why is this so accurate
Half of the “artisan” burger chains in my city are marginally better than a fast-food chain. One, maybe two of them make burgers so good that they’re worth the occasional splurge.
This is incredibly accurate.
I used to work at a place like this. The owner was a psycho.
What cured him?
Her* and nothing she’s still a psycho. The only that changed is that I no longer work there.
I used to do drugs. I mean, I still do them, but I used to do them too.
Cheese:
American $1
Cheddar $2
Smoked Gouda $3
Isn’t American cheese just cheddar cheese with some extra flavoring?
American is typically more mild in taste and smoother than cheddar; unless we are talking Kraft Singles American, which is a smoother or creamier cheddar.
I thought it was cheddar diluted in some chemicals and milk to improve flavor and to lower the melting point.
It does have emulsifiers and other dairy products in it. It has a higher moisture content, which the emulsifiers help to hold in suspension with the cheese. Without the emulsifiers the cheese would leak water/fluid out and the shelf life would be considerably shortened. The emulsifiers used are very common in many foods from almond milk to soft drinks.
The Good Burguer in Spain (and probably other countries)
There’s a BBQ place near me, and I ordered tater tots there once, as a side. They were $4. They literally gave me 4 tater tots. They were one dollar apiece.
There are two types of BBQ places; stingy, overpriced, gourmet bullshit with barely any sauce and greasy, messy, heart stopping heaven. The former always pretends to be the latter.
There’s also Mission BBQ which is stingy, overpriced, overly-sweet non-gourmet bullshit with jingoistic pro-military support-the-troops bullshit thrown in for good measure.
Don’t forget the right-wing “we’re ignoring mask mandates in the height of the pandemic and not limiting seating because we’re god-fearin’ 'mercans here!” bullshit.
I ordered a gyro with a side of onion rings (the onion rings alone were $7) from a local place to take home. When I got home and opened the box of onion rings, I saw there were only six small (like, 1.5" in diameter) onion rings in the too-large box - more than a dollar per tiny ring. Next time I went I complained about the onion rings and they showed me the menu which said “6 onion rings” in the item description albeit in a tiny font. Like, they knew what complete and utter bullshit it was so they had to have something legal to fall back on.
“Bro, we told you we were bullshitting you, right there in the sign. That means we’re not at fault”
Fuck that shit.
I hate those fucking stools. I swear they were invented to be so uncomfortable that once you’ve choked down that mediocre overpriced burger you want to leave as soon as possible because your ass hurts.
How the fuck do you even
The first thing you have to do is
Manage to price tater tots at 1 dollar
Then what you do is
They’re shitty amazon order stools I bet.
Getting people to leave quickly allows more people to enter, which means more burgers served.
I assume they got them cheap when a school science lab was upgrading to something made this century
always order everything to go and take it home and eat it in the comfort of my own bed.
restaurants are so uncomfortable.
You eat in your bed? Ngl that is nasty
In what way?
Genuinely curious if it’s because you might get food in bed or the act of eating where you sleep?
What’s wrong with you 😧
When you eat so many luxury burger that you can only afford a studio, there isn’t any other seating than bed.
nothing?
And the word “Offerings” will appear on the menu
There sure are a lot of comments on this repost like no one’s ever seen it before. Are we being infiltrated by bots again?
People don’t see every post every time they’re posted. Reposts suck for very active users, but for new and infrequent ones, they serve a purpose.
I’ve seen it before, but it’s a good one
To be fair, Five Guys is every bit as expensive. But I’ll take Five Guys over most of those places anyway. Free peanuts is tempting.
Five guys but only because the stupid amount of Cajun fries you get. A regular size order is a meal on its own
Five guys will let you fuck your burger up with 12 toppings tho. Better value proposition
Five guys will let you fuck your burger
This echos my last five guys in restaurant people watching experience.
Have I just gone to a bad Five Guys? I went to one once last year and the burger was mediocre at best and the fries were greasy to the point of being sickening. I haven’t gone back since.
you defo went to a bad 5 guys, I’ve been to st least 6 different locations and have never been disappointed in the experience
Five guys is a $15 burger with no sides place not a $20 burger with no sides place.
Man. Maybe I’m lucky, but the five guys near me is 11.29 for a full sized cheeseburger with no sides. 12.69 is the just expensive one with bacon but I usually just do the little one which is 8.79.
They do charge an arm and a leg for the fries, though. Which I guess is to be expected since their measurements for a small fry is “all of them”
That’s also $15 with the option of every topping known to man ,and if you do add sides theyre enough for a meal on their own.
I literally just opened a place like this lmao
I love the federation sometimes.
Good luck, honestly.
$22.50 is a lot for a burger, but I’ve had some burgers that price that are life changing.
Mine are 17 but have a literal 3/4 lb (smoked) patty and 2 strips of real good old fashioned bacon, two fried texas garlic toasts for a “bun”, the real fancy french mustard and my house sauce, the best pickles ever, 5 onion rings but no side. I can do this because I’m a bar in the middle of nowhere, not in a major city with staff and massive expenses.
Best of luck!
That sounds like a great burger.
But do you serve it on a plate? Be honest.
yes. You can search facebook for the Lucky Loon Saloon of Tompkins, Saskatchewan for more details, there’s pictures of it, on a plate.
That’s a shame, I prefer my burgers served on a snow shovel
I mean I have a snow shovel, and ten percent bleach solution. Always willing to accommodate.
Tompkins, Saskatchewan
Ohhhh you’re near Medicine Hat and the highway. That kinda makes sense now.
That’s right. Stop in for a burger, I’m open Tuesday to Sunday 1130 am to late. Tuesdays are beer n a burger 20 bucks, Thursdays 11 dollar wings (30+ flavours).
but no side
You included all the sides on the burger!
What’s the calorie count on that!?
As I’m asking this nonsense question, I’m thinking of the punch burger commercial from the parks and rec show where they say who cares, put it in your body!
Ok apparently roughly 850 calories for the hamburger, 175 for the toast, 150 for the onion rings, 10 calories for the mustard, 100 calories for the special sauce going by the mayo base for 3 tbsps, 200 for the cheese and roughly 150 for the bacon. So…1700 calories at a minimum.
LOL, that’s awesome. Almost an entire days worth of calories. Sounds delicious. You printing the calories on the menu?
This is the Parks and Rec Ponch burger this reminds me of. “Put it in your body or you’re a nerd!”
There’s a place called Bub’s burgers where they do a 1lbs burger challenge. They’re actually pretty good too. Not sure about how it compares nationally.
No, not on the menu. I don’t actually eat like this myself, I’m a big dude, used to work the rigs, trades, cowboy, etcetera. I couldn’t get through half one of these monstrosities i make if I even try. Probably how I stayed reasonably thin when I was a trucker. Been cooking long enough to know what tastes good, I had owned this bar half a year before I even tried the burgers I was making people. When i do make myself hamburger, it’s like a quarter pound patty by itself and i just fork n knife it with some spicy sauce, or maybe with gravy.
Ha, thanks. Now I don’t feel as dumb for chucking the bread.
Not Bay Area is it?
RIP??
deleted by creator
Any major city, really
