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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: September 20th, 2023

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  • When one reads the room (or the… sidewalk? the coffee shop?), is clever, and well groomed, and all that…

    It’s absolutely possible to speak to strangers in public regardless of whether they’re male or female or whatever. Furthermore, sometimes the immediate response is a positive one instead of a polite but obviously disinterested one.

    But oh my GOODNESS do we have to be careful not to be an undue burden on others! (Note some scenarios can’t be helped—people who are DEATHLY afraid of ANYONE talking to them ever are in a bad spot, sorry to those folks, but you may have to ignore a polite sentence from me before I apologize/quickly move on.)

    I don’t have good cold approach tips for random places in public, but in a nightclub, can be natural to follow this flow:

    • comment on venue
    • comment on artist
    • comment on the person (the person herself)

    Maybe it’s adaptable outside the clurb too.

    Do know it definitely helps out there if she has a dog. Only speaking to people when there’s a genuinely natural conversation starter, like a cute dog, is probably pretty safe. Maybe “Whoh did you get that hat from <boutique down the street?>” when you’re actually curious. Curiosity shines through, as does your lack of need for a specific outcome, and can lead to good engagement from someone you’ve made comfortable and perhaps who’s chuffed to have had their fancy accessory complimented. (‘Oh actually my friend made it!’ = nice)

    And maybe you’re already walking away as you’re talking, just making it so obvious how little a threat you are, how unlikely you are to be aggressive.

    We’re allowed to “be excellent to each other” and we’re allowed to get rejected. Nothing like a good rejection, LOVE knowing I tried. Finally hey, some of earth’s 8 billion inhabitants were married in modern times solely thanks to the guy reasonably approaching a stranger, and none of us could tell his wife she was wrong not to reject him (or that he was a jerk for saying hi).

    YOU GOT THIS!

    Kindly,

    brb




  • “Don’t we have any other way to motivate our workers?”

    Ahaha!!

    cool tool

    Yeah we spent a ton of energy on that analysis but am necessarily so curious about the state of the art (I’mma tech person) and this was a suitable test case. UC Berkeley/others’s got a project

    with SotA available free (but all data hoovered for research)

    My other big test was right when it came out after reporting about scary good image analysis, on something where I had a legitimate question. tl;dr take pic of scene IRL, remove EXIF, hop on VPN, and upload to ^ & see if its response/analysis feels creepy or reverse image search is just as good or what

    PS: adding missed disclaimer to previous comment