Would it help if I filmed myself fucking a couch and put a deep fake over it?
Hmmm, I would have to see it first
It’s for the good of people my dude, rail that couch for democracy!
Can’t hurt!
Depends on the springs
I’m sorry… I’m way outta the loop on this one.
Someone explain?
Vance fucked a couch
(It was a joke someone made. I think it was originally amplified when AP decided to “fact check” what was clearly an internet joke)
Edit: https://ftw.usatoday.com/2024/07/jd-vance-couch-memes-associated-press
AP pulled the fact check at one point
This is extremely simplistic and reductive, but essentially, after JD Vance was named Trump’s VP, someone made a shit post saying ‘Wow, I can’t believe he said he had sex with a couch, that’s wild’. To their slight credit, the same person commented like an hour later admiting it was all a lie (they just posted the Arthur meme of “You think someone would do that? Go on the internet and tell lies?”), but that didn’t really matter and it got shared around a lot, mostly by people who knew it was fake news but still thought it was funny anyway.
Later that week, AP News did a fact check on it (because, sadly, they have to do A LOT of false-fact debunking) and they essentially said “JD Vance did not have sex with a couch”. HOWEVER, they have an internal policy that says their fact-checks must say only the truth, even if they have to be extremely specific in their wording. Since they originally said “No, he has never had sex with a couch” but, technically speaking, unless they’ve been spying on him for his entire life, there’s no way to actually PROVE that, so they had to take it down. Lots of people saw it get taken down and jumped on that fact as a ‘Well, then he must have done it, obviously’ and the memes continued.
Fast forward to today, and some FOX host who probably still uses Yahoo as their search engine and has no connection with meme culture is demanding the video proof that they presume to exist despite no one EVER saying that there’s proof.
Hope that answered most of your questions
Edit: slightly wording fix
Is yahoo search even a thing still? I used it like a week ago and it said powered by Bing. I wouldn’t be surprised if they took down their search engine and just use a version of Bing instead of an amalgamation.
Yahoo search was killed years ago by the guy that now runs Google search.
This should be the most insane sentence in the thread, except that we’re in a thread about a vice presidential candidate possibly fucking a couch.
There’s only one way out. The VP candidate now needs to prove beyond all reasonable doubt that he has never fucked a couch.
My favorite part was that Vance, supposedly, wrote about it in Hillbilly Elegy. Reading the book would easily solve the issue once and for all, but no one wanted to.
It’s also why the AP article was retracted. They could say that it’s not in the book, but like you said, it would be impossible to prove that he never, at any point in his life, when no one was around, fucked a couch.
…but also, the AP article didn’t even involve reading the book. They just used Ctrl+F on key terms because, again, no one wants to actually read that book.
I didn’t even know it was a story until I read about the retraction. Like, “What do you mean they retracted their story saying he didn’t tuck a couch…? Does that mean…?”
tl;dr version: the left has learned to meme
And right is weird
For reasons.
It’s so funny to see FOX News doing The Whitey Tape to themselves.
Yeah let’s talk about some stupid meme instead of real issues like single payer healthcare, inequality, and I dunno maybe the fact we just had the hottest ever recorded temperatures on Earth in human history.
Filling the narrative with this drama detracts from focusing public attention on real issues.
But I guess this Vance guy prob just needs to drink what plants crave and not talk like a fag and everything will be ok.
The average Murican voter cannot comprehend what you call “real” issues. This gossipy, high school, melodrama has much better chance to reach them
But I guess this Vance guy prob just needs to drink what plants crave and not talk like a fag and everything will be ok.
One, it’s not good to use slurs; even if this isn’t a situation about two men. Two, are you implying Vance’s a gay couch? Three, did you just assume that coach’s gender?
It’s not a slur. The saying is from the movie Idiocracy where society talks like that.
I was implying that Lemmy is in that state of Idiocracy where real issues aren’t discussed but calling everyone a couch fucker who you disagree with is ok.
real issues aren’t discussed but calling everyone a couch fucker who you disagree with is ok
I get where you are coming from. We have a few main factions on Lemmy (tankies, progressives, moderates/liberals, and trolls) and in JD Vance we all found something to laugh at together. Don’t rock the boat. Republicans don’t care about the issues. Democrats know about the issues; we are waiting on Harris to see her platform and which issues she cares about.
We can walk and chew gum, thank you
Why are these people so fking creepy weird?
No wonder JD wants to make porn illegal. I’m almost with him if it means me not getting Rickrolled with a gif of him fucking a loveseat
“It’s not a loveseat, okay?! It’s a couch! I don’t fuck loveseats!” - Vance, probably?
“It’s called making love when it’s a loveseat! It’s in the name!!! Also, ban porn NOW!”
– From The book “Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir Of a Family and Culture in Crisis” by author JD Vance
The AP was correct to pull the article. Nobody can definitively say “J.D. Vance did not have sex with a couch” just that “J.D. Vance did not write about having sex with a couch in his memoir, ‘Hillbilly Elegy’.”
My mother read the book, and tells me that the couch fucking part is absolutely in there.
She also said he’s a bad writer and his book is mostly fiction, so the couch fucking is probably as true as him being from Appalachia.
We don’t even know he didn’t write about it. All we can definitively say is that the story about J.D. Vance fucking a couch did not appear in the published edition of Hillbilly Elegy.
Did he fuck a couch? Did he write about fucking a couch? Only Vance can tell us for sure and he’s probably too busy fucking a couch.
Comment above yours states that it is in there
If everyone is saying it there must be something to it.
How many of those comments are just parroting others?
I’m not sure but if everyone is saying it there must be something to it, dude definitely enjoys the chaise.
I disagree on that concept. Just because a lot of people are saying something doesn’t mean there is something to it. Should we look at it? Absolutely yes
But there is a guy who made a comment that says his grandma (or maybe it was his mom can’t remember) read the book so I’d ask who else has actually read the book?
Good example of group think: lots of people thought disco was good.
I agree with you 100%. We should absolutely be asking why JD Vance would fuck a couch, if in fact he fucked a couch. And why so many people would be talking about JD Vance fucking couches if he didn’t.
It doesn’t really change anything for me but I don’t think I’ll be letting that guy around my couches. Not because I honestly think JD Vance fucks couches but it’s better to be safe than sorry.
edit: Personally I don’t want to read the kind of filth a couch fucker would write so I haven’t read the book but I have it on good authority that people are saying JD Vance admits to fucking at least one couch.
Hey guys, it’s time to mature up and admit that Vance probably did not have sex with a couch.
He made love to it. Also, the couch was totally asking for it.
It was totally consensual
-The couch
Too bad it wasn’t a bed because then we could talk about how short the bed skirt was.
You know the couch was into it… When the couch doesn’t want it, nature has ways of just shutting all that down.
I heard the couch was dressed like a total loveseat, and wasn’t even wearing a cover.
Lets call it what it is, folks. It was rape. He raped that couch. Just because the couch had a suggestively placed throw, doesn’t make it OK.
The couch was asking for it, wearing that slip cover!
If the couch didn’t want fucked why was it wearing those sexy cushions?!!
Showing off it’s legs. Disgusting.
Aunty: Oh Vance! My favorite nephew! Come in come in! Sit on the couch with me! What brings you here?
Vance: nobody likes me because I wear makeup like women do and I like to fuck the couch!
Aunty: well worry no more! You can stay with us for as long as you like! There’s just one thing I need to tell you about.
Vance: what is it?
Aunty: your uncle and I have a house policy where we don’t wear any clothes indoors. Is that okay? I’m sure if we talk to your uncle, we can agree to let you fuck a couch too!
Vance proceeds to get complete naked. Uncle comes into the scene and the aunty is already naked too.
Vance: hi uncle!
Uncle: well hello! I see you are getting used to the rules of the house!
Aunty: yes. He also would like it if he could fuck the couch when he feels the need.
Uncle: no problem!
Scene cuts to Vance taking a shower. For more on this please refer to your favorite pornhub show.
why did you write this?
you either write fanfic, and know how to shitpost, OR you consume a lot of porn, it’s one of the two.
Is there a spitefic genre yet?
probably, i think that’s just fanfic though. Idk if there would be a specific genre lmao. I’d support it though.
I would go with the porn.
We’ve finally found a job for AI.
Ah yes, a Deep Fake.
I bet it isn’t very deep
Lol
Anyone else hoping that a video surfaces just so we can make the conservatives watch it? Bonus points if he refers to the couch as Flipper while borking it.
Put that shit up on a screen like what happened to the old and wrinkled Italian regime. Tifa up there screaming, giving heart attacks to poor old men, that scene was so obscene.
Now imagine the travesty, bunch of out the closet conservatives projecting their desires, watching what transpires as JD Vance has a relationship with an entire set. They’re the ones that must bear witness to that.
Ai might be useful afterall
Anyone else hoping that a video surfaces just so we can make the conservatives watch it?
The new Rick Roll is inserting footage of JD Vance fucking a couch in between scenes of Hunter Biden fucking a prostitute.
Once Republicans regain power, these will be the only two legal forms of pornography.
“Guess we know why they call it a blow hole now, don’t we you stupid fucking cetacean”
Double bonus if he shames and belittles the couch for not getting pregnant, and says if it were up to him, it would not be allowed to vote
Stark difference in the immediate memes that came out about Harris vs Vance. Coconut tree is quirky, couch is weird.
Coconut tree is quirky, couch is weird.
Coconut Tree is Wine Mom trying to explain a legitimately profound idea she read in a book once in college.
Couch is Creepy Uncle trying to lure you into his shed.
It’s probably something she heard from a south Indian relative when she didn’t want to go to some family function.
Coconut tree is so 2020.
That sure is a weird-ass thing to ask for.
Those people are weird.
Any hacker group willing to recreate that one Black Mirror episode but with a couch instead of a pig?
