We can’t necessarily help specifically. However, we will say it’s okay to explore and question things, even throughout the entirety of your life.

There’s no problems with exploring who you are or what it is you want, even if it’s what you thought you were for most of your life.

Exploring identity is one of the most worthwhile things anybody can do and you’ll likely end up more in touch with yourself because of it.

Never be afraid to explore or revisit ideas, even if you find yourself not being them you’ll have learned from it. The journey is what’s most important, not the destination 😉

One thing to be aware of is that transitioning reduces dysphoria, and not just by a little.

I’m well into my transition (currently on the waiting list for bottom surgery), with 1.5 years of HRT behind me and all the legal stuff completed and… I don’t feel all that much dysphoria these days… Because: Why would I? I’m beginning to really like how I’m starting to look these days and can even look at pre-transition pictures without issue and go: “This was me, can you believe it?”

The earlier you are into your transition, the bigger the focus on being trans can be, until it eventually turns into less and less of a big deal.

Self-doubts early on are btw. so common that I would frankly just consider them a symptom of gender-dysphoria in their own right.

And to be clear, I can’t tell you what you are, but I can tell you that what you describe sounds like a very common experience and nothing to worry too much about.

Its great that you are thinking about gender at your age. I had similar feelings when I was your age, but I didn’t know that being trans was an option, or that it was even something that could be helped.

From my understanding, doubt is a normal part of the trans experience. I have heard of trans people having occasional thoughts of doubt, at every stage of their transition.

Transition is the best treatment for gender dysphoria. If you feel less of it, doesn’t that mean its working?

Reach out to youth trans resources you have access to. HRT is more effective the sooner you start, so don’t delay. Work with those who have experience helping trans youth, on these feelings.

Let’s reframe that. Instead of thinking “I don’t have much dysphoria so maybe I’m not trans” you should ask yourself “what do I think I can do to have the most enjoyable life possible?”.

You’re allowed to change your mind, you’re allowed to make suboptimal decisions, and most decisions are reversible so for those you don’t really have to consider long-term consequences. If you want to identify some way, even just to test it out, go for it! You can change that later if it doesn’t fit, and there’s not much harm to it. Even if you’re mistaken, it usually just means you ended up experiencing more awkward time than necessary, not much of a consequence.

The hardest part is probably gonna be getting over the fear of being wrong, of feeling like you lied to people. You didn’t, there’s nothing wrong with being mistaken. But I know the brain gets anxious over it 🫂. I hope you have a wonderful life wherever it takes you.

You’re still young and learning about yourself. I thought I was technically cishet until my late 20’s, so I was wrong for far longer. Being wrong is just a step for learning. If you realize you aren’t trans, is it a big deal? Why? Because you just don’t want to be wrong? Because you want to be a gender other than your AGAB? If the latter, I think that’s a pretty good hint you might be trans of some sort.

As a cis male who never experienced dysphoria I can’t relate to your feelings. Exploring who you are is a great choice. You are 14 you don’t need to make any concrete decisions about who you are. You might not be what your agab was and you might not truly identify as a female but from my limited understanding it’s a spectrum so don’t decide who you are find it out. Best of luck, I hope you have great people to surround you at home, If you don’t find your people and leave the baggage behind.

It sounds like you need to talk to a psychologist/therapist who specialises in gender dysphoria. They would potentially be able to help you arrange your thoughts on the matter. No-one is going to be able to give you a definite answer on the internet and nor should they. I can tell you that I am going through the hatching process at the moment and am experiencing something similar. I’m a long way past puberty (old enough to be your parent) and the thing that bothers me is that I didn’t adress this sooner. If I had investigated my gender identity at your age I might have enjoyed my adult life and not spent every day depressed and angry at everything.

It’s possible that you aren’t transgender or that you are. But even if you aren’t it’s still useful to know that. If you know any trans girls IRL you should talk to them about it and see if your experiences align with theirs. Also, I don’t know about your family situation or political environment where you live, but if you could see a therapist, it wouldn’t hurt. Just make sure you address it soon because you don’t want to spend the next few decades of your life miserable. Again I’m not saying you are or aren’t trans. Only you can figure that out.

You don’t need to experience gender dysphoria to be valid in your trans identity. The real question is, what identity do you feel reflects you the best, and which you want to be.

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