I mean…I Guess my wife would have to get used to getting banged in the ass.

So I guess if be to down for it?

I think it depends on the relationship. Personally, I married the person, not her genitalia. I like those too but I want the person to be with me until the day we die, far far in the future.

It wouldn’t be a problem. I’m bi, and when I’m in love, it’s not a question of gender expression or body.

This is probably more of an individual’s question than a gender-based question. I would support the transition, but I’d be lying to myself if I said I’d want to be with a trans guy. I am vanilla-ass hetero.

Good question, and highly dependent. I think for the most part I’d move to being friends.

Friend, if possible. My relationship preference is for women, so, I don’t see it working out.

I would become friend. But I could not stay in a relationship with my partner. I am heterosexual, so dating a man wouldn’t work for me.

If they’re going FtM, that would sadly be the end of the relationships. Can see ourselves being friends, though!

I’m bi.

As a trans masculine non-binary person it’s more of personal conversation. My partner isn’t into masculine body types so my transition ended up being purely social because my partner does more on a daily basis to contribute to my happiness then the comfort of being in a body that doesn’t make me feel like shit daily. It’s a bit like having a pet allergy but deciding that you can live with feeling like someone poured sand into your sinuses every day rather than giving up your furry best friend. For all purposes though our relationship is coded and treated as though I am my specified gender. We are effectively culturally a same sex couple. Neither of us use female terms for my junk and he doesn’t claim to be straight. We do joke he is “queer by association” however.

But what I am doing counts as a full transition.

But in regards to the what you give up situation it’s all rather dependant on how adverse you are and whether someone in your relationship is able to give a little and how much you value and ultimately how non-fungible the relationship is to you… Because - just putting it out there - strap-ons do exist.

Well, it depends.

• If you’re a non-binary person, we’ll eliminate the non and that’s any binary trans or cis person.

• If you are genderfluid person, then I suppose it would be gendersolid? So probably any cis person?

• If you’re an agender person, then your opposite would obviously be pangender , you can be a lack to their all.

• And if you are simply a person, well then that would be xenogender!

Or vice versa! ♥ 💕

What’s your gender?

Carry tampons at all times.

When the monthly misery ends i block out the whole experience and the very existence of menstruation until next time, when i am shocked and angered that this is happening again, already!?! I’m looking forward to menopause.

You can’t wear tampons very long so just a pad if it’s about that time or feels that way. Typically I know to do so when I’m turning into a honey badger emotionally.

Mine generally starts within a 2 day window. Mine starts with spotting, and I have a half day from that point before the real flow necessitating pads or tampons starts. So I know before planning for my day or going on a trip whether I’ll need to pack for a likely period or not, and my usual trips to the restroom through the day is enough to monitor for spotting.

I have pads and tampons stashed strategically, in my desk at work, in my car, in backpacks and gym bags and purses. I even keep a couple emergency “to share” kits for when another person is in need; a small bag with two pads, two tampons, some wipes, and a dose of ibuprofen in a blister pack.

Dealing with a period the first few times was horrible. Just the newness, I found it a bit scary, figuring out the best ways to keep healthy and clean, the boy in middle school who pulled a tampon out of my bag, unwrapped it, and started making lewd jokes in front of half the class. But it’s mostly boring now, the only time I really wish I didn’t have it now is when I do things like backpacking and have to worry about hygiene without running water and appropriate disposal.

Of course this all will vary wildly. I had a friend in high school whose periods started heavy, unpredictably, and with little warning. She played softball and if she was within a week of time for her period to start, she would wear a tampon and pad during her games just to be sure. She had previously had a bit of breakthrough during a weekend tournament and having to wear those shorts with a spot of blood for the rest of the weekend really embarrassed her.

I stopped tracking my period at all cause I just have a sense for it now and it was annoying when I’d forget to log a period and my tracker would tell me ridiculous things like I had a 97 day cycle or something. Plus privacy concerns. The only time it becomes inconvenient is when a doctor asks when my last period started, which usually just illicits an “I dunno, not abnormally long ago” at which point they ask me for a firm estimate and I throw out a bullshit number that will get them to move on to more pertinent discussions. I got an IUD last year so varying cycle lengths and missed periods aren’t without a reasonable explanation.

Anyways, I usually get a dull ache in my upper thigh/lower abdominal area the night before as warning. Mine start out pretty light, so a simple panty liner will keep me covered for the first handful of hours the next day. Honestly though I think I usually catch it by wiping after doing my business and seeing a trace amount of blood there, before I see any in my underwear. Although there have been other times that I just got a sense of moisture at a point, so the panty liner is a nice layer of security.

If I’m going out of the house I keep some regular pads on hand just in case the time comes to bring out the big guns. Menstrual cups are also super safe to get ahead of the flow with though (no risk of drying you out and causing micro abrasions like with tampons) so there’s been a few times that I just popped that in from the jump. My workplace also keeps emergency pads stocked in the ladies room (as a last resort, those ones are SUPER bulky for some reason, way overkill)

I like how you had to clarify that your question is aimed at women, and then proceeds to ask a question about menstration.

My wife uses a panty liner when a period is coming up. For my wife at least, it usually comes on light at first and she has a chance to notice when exactly it hits by checking the liner. And once it actually starts then the tampons are used in addition to the liner.

I’ve never used a cup before, but I know for certain, you can’t really do that with tampons, because it would be way too dry and eugh, even imagining that is making me shudder. Most women who use tampons know how unpleasant it feels to pull out a dry tampon; I have to be careful near the end of my period not to use a tampon with too high an absorbency if I want to avoid this. I may switch to pads near the end.

Periods can come without warning though. Some people have a super low flow early on, so they might get more warning (if they go pee and there’s a lil blood when they wipe), but also sometimes it’s heaviest at the start, which is why many women have embarrassing stories of their period taking them off guard and bleeding through their clothing onto a chair or something. Someone might wear pads if they’re expecting their period - you can get lighter absorbency pads that might suit this better. Older women might wear pads like this at other times - my mum occasionally pees a little if she sneezes too hard, so she wears lightweight pads at other times of the month.

It’s easier if you can predict when your period will be. I’ve never had a regular cycle, and I thought the whole “my period is 2 days late and I’m anxious that this might mean I’m pregnant” thing only happened in movies until a friend anxiously messaged me about it. Turns out some people do have that level of regularity - I might actually ask my super regular friend what she does when expecting her period, come to think of it. But yeah, for many people, it can’t even be predicted to the day, or even the week.

Everyone is different and bodies change over time. That being said, at this point there’s a discoloration in daily discharge the day or two before Aunt Flo arrives. We Know. And period underwear is a game changer.

1. You can’t always expect it, especially if you have some kind of reproductive disorder like endometriosis, PCOS, etc. This results in massive simultaneous messes of both bloody clothing and wasted, un-bloodied period products, and is colloquially known as “hell.” It is often preventable (but also often caused) with/by hormonal birth control.

2. If you spend some time really getting in touch with your bodily sensations and logging all of them in relation to your cycle, you can often start to notice things like mood swings, increased acne, bloating, headaches, cramping, and other common pre-menstrual symptoms. My whole vulva would ache. My whole inner lips, outer lips, taint, everything just felt like it was bruised, then next day, blood!

3. You start by wearing your least favorite underwear. All women have a ranking of underwear from cutest / sexiest to period-est for this exact reason. This exactly what you keep the dingy ones around for. It usually starts small, also called “spotting.” So you’ll just go to pee, see a little smear or dot of blood, and start using products from there.

4. Sometimes you can feel it just drop out feeling exactly like one of those vagina goo sharts. In fact, you’re usually hoping it’s a vagina goo shart because you can just wipe that out with toilet paper and move on with your day. It’s not gonna soak through and stain three layers of clothing like blood would. Enough of it left sitting on the fabric for long enough (like, weeks) would bleach the fabric but blood is a pain in the ass if it’s not a fabric you can just soak in H2O2.

I’m also an RN with a fair amount of experience in sexual health if you have any more period or reproductive health questions! Only thing I’m not good at is obstetrics (pregnancy), but everything that happens before that I can explain in detail.

I’m a no touching person, and no amount of drunk will stop me from being a no touching person.

Never been high five rejected by a guy

And you also never met me (I am a guy too).
My response to unexpected fist bumps, high fives and handshakes is basically a silent “Huh?” before I figure out how to respond. Awkward 4 seconds. Oh, and I also likely forgot what I was thinking of and won’t have a peace of mind until I remember it to finish the thought, but that has nothing to do with actually doing a high-five or not.

Because idc what you are feeling, I don’t want to touch a random drunk guy. Sorry, not sorry.

Because a strange, intoxicated man wants to hit me. Dude.

The only people that have ever high fived me are assholes that put all their strength into it. Then my hand burns in pain for the next 30 minutes. I don’t want more abuse from another drunk asshole .

Lots of men, especially drunk ones, have sweaty palms

Nonbinary btw

In my case it’s because often even the slightest bit of humor or attention or willingness to play along with the bit gets me way more unwanted attention than I bargained for. If I respond like a person wanting to have a little fun with another person and it gets me treated like a thing they can now win and possess, the genuine human interaction has been tainted by the implication that it wasn’t genuine, there was always a motive and, because I played along, I’m now not a person to be interacted with, I’m a thing to be owned. I’d rather just not do the thing if that’s one of the possible outcomes. And yeah, that’s why I tend to not go out anymore.

Oh, so it was you who walked past me last week downtown and was trying to get me to high-five you while shouting “HEY” at me repeatedly while I was trying to unlock my bicycle.

I don’t want to interact with drunk people kthx.

They’re unpredictable, potentially aggressive, and I just want to avoid the entire situation.

People become defensive when they’ve been hurt before.

They better get to it.

Personally, I think you’re really close to the answer but with an important distinction. The great filter is an hyper aggressive species that does not want to deal with a potential cold war with a different species with technology as advanced as their own. They already launched their doomsday armageddon weapon at us after detecting our existence, probably from something like our farthest satille, Voyager 1.

It could take generations for the bomb heading to our sun or stealth asteroid heading directly for us to actually connect. But it’s arguably in their best interest not to even chance us becoming militarily on par with them.

Statistically there is alien life out there somewhere, and whichever one got to interplanetary weapons first would have everything to lose by allowing an equal to exist.

My question for you is, why do you want a female perspective on this? Idk, doesn’t seem like something that gender would effect.

I think it’s a thought experiment that hits with the general public. Scifi writers put it in their work because it sets up great stories without being overly technical. Physicists talk about it and use it to get research grants to work on things that sound far less sexy.

Do most people want to hear a scientist talk about searching a teeny tiny patch of space for a particular wavelength of light or do they want to hear about Dyson Spheres and Von Neumann probes and 2001: A Space Odyssey.

I’m going to go watch an episode of 3BP on Netflix now.

I’ve always felt like a lot of the assumptions in Fermi’s Great Filter feels off. Like, the way we talk about “intelligent life” feels iffy, both in astrophysics and other fields. I’m not great at articulating this, but if you’re one for video essays, Dr Fatima Abdurrahman recently made a video that captured much of what I’d struggled to say on this. (https://youtu.be/_tw0aqmnmaw)

Oh I get it, “simple girl minds” couldn’t possibly fathom such a deep question. 🤣 Yer killin’ me.

Interesting thought, but there is no evidence for this, right?

You mean like what if species at a certain level of development start fucking around with zero point energy and trigger false vacuum decay?

Actually it’s entirely possible it’s already happened. There are lots of galaxies so far away their light will never reach us if it’s emitted now, and vacuum decay travels at the speed of light AFAIK

Nonbinary btw

I too thought I invented The Button

We do!

No idea about the Freemasons but we do talk about you on the alternate lemmy.world server port… oh wait I wasn’t supposed to mention that.

Everything I’ve read about the Freemasons has been clearly written by people who hate freemasons, I mean… I don’t keep going past the obvious tell, but I’ve been inside looking out on a my own strange outsider culture so, I just can’t take haters at face value. As far as I can tell. It’s a club.

There are all female lodges though.

Freemasons also don’t let atheists in. Was a hard pass from me at that point. I’m not faking belief in some deist creator god just to join in their weird rituals and bridge clubs.

To tell the truth, it’s a complex question, like “why are there no female Christian priests”. Christianity is a wide thing, with lots of subdivisions. So is freemasonry.

Why no woman ? There are historical reasons: a founding text (Anderson’s Constitution) states that to be a Freemason, you have to be a free man. There are also old initiation rituals (a bit like a Masonic baptism) where the person is bare-chested. For traditionalists, this forever excludes women. This is particularly the case in the Anglo-Saxon world. Traditinnalists also often exclude atheists, LGBTQIA+ people, etc.

But worldwide, there are also progressive lodges, mixed or even feminine (which accept male visitors, but do not initiate men). I live in Europe, and in my loge we are about 10 men and 20 women. Lots of us are social workers, teachers, nurses or public servants. Lots of us are atheists or agnostics. Some of us are gay, lesbian or bi.

About what we do, one more time: it depends. The main idea is to have philosophical questionings, based on ritual and symbolism (A bit like a religious person who uses a holy text to nourish his philosophical reflections). All lodges also have charities, because the aim of Freemasonry is to improve oneself in the hope of making the world a better place.

But some progressive lodges (like mine) go further and are places for reflection on society, in a place where everyone can share their point of view without being cut off (this is an absolute rule) and without judgment.

In these lodges, all kinds of issues of social progress are discussed, including feminist issues. But also topics like the defense of democracy, the right to a dignified end of life, the impact of AI on the job market, ecology, the rise of the far right, and so on.

In men’s lodges (I sometimes go as a visitor), even the progressive ones, there’s very little talk of women in my experience. Except at communal meals, where you can hear the same mysogynistic remarks as in any all-male group (ewww, imho)

Seems like the best way to have a chill Sunday

It’s telling that the only thing you can think of to possibly ask the other sex is to start drama.

Sorts seems like you know that most women say the bear and you are upset about it. Do you actually want to understand why?

Let’s not, these comments are pretty nice so far

Bear, and I’m a guy. I don’t want to meet random people in a forest. That’s why I’m in the forest!

Yes. There would certainly be some friction points, but I’d much rather take care of my home and family instead of working.

I promise a lot of men want this.

Even if I can take care of myself, there is something quite comforting in that role reversal.

To an extent this is my marriage. My wife and I both own our own companies. Mine is much more established and therefore offers me some leeway on my in office time (I’m an accountant). This means I often spend more time taking care of our children. I also cook, make grocery store trips, clean (to an extent), etc. She still helps around the house which isn’t ad much as it used to be. But I see her working her ass off so I don’t complain.

As for protecting me…no. I’m a pretty large dude. 6’3" 250. So unfortunately when things go bump in the night ya boi gets to go investigate.

Yeah, I would definitely be down with that. The only thing I really want out of a relationship is snuggles because sleeping alone feels so… empty.

Only minor note is that I’ve been in relationships before where, for reasons beyond my control, I was unable to make an income. It doesn’t matter to me whether I’m the “breadwinner”, but not being able to financially support my other at all was horrible. I don’t know if that’s universal for guys but I would imagine mostly yes.

I Would LOVE THAT

Yes and it sounds pretty good to me, although I’d draw the line at pegging 🫠

Sometimes, this is the case with my wife and I. We have kind of a fluid relationship. Each of us have things going on in our lives and one of us sometimes can’t contribute to the household as much as the other.

When my wife was in college, I worked a shitload and was the bread winner. Now I’m in college and not working much at all and she is the breadwinner. Our marriage is hardly ever a 50/50, but we both understand this and I’m confident it’s one of the main reasons we are so great together.

Absolutely. My partner and I have traded those roles more than once.

My gf and I have very nontraditional household roles.

I handle basically all the housework, I make way less money (working in education), and I do most of the cooking and grocery shopping.

She works… and occasionally folds some laundry by putting it on top of the dryer in the way of everything lol

Those are good behaviors regardless of whether they are considered masculine or feminine. In my mind femininity is inclusive of the strong beauty archetype. A highly capable person can be both a great leader and a great follower depending on the context.

Already taken, sorry. She makes the money, I make the food.

I would be surprised if there weren’t men that enjoyed or wanted this role - even if few admitted it.

To answer your question,. absolutely! In an equal relationship, you’d kinda expect it now and again for the small wins in your life. In a relationship where someone wishes to play the more dominant role it can shift.

I’m actually in a similar relationship, though not due to design or will, just life and happenstance.

My so has a great job with good schedule and it’s her “soul” job, not sure what the word is in English but maybe you understand.

I’m, on the other hand, struggling with finding a career I could sustain. I have ADHD so it’s kinda tough, but we make it work perfectly.

Nowadays I study an engineering degree, so I’m home keeping the place neat and cooking for her and all that, and she provides the funds for all kinds of fun activities and all the rest you know, food and such included. I don’t mind, though at first my toxic masculinity kind of fought against that and I had a period of feeling bad about it. But we talk a lot and are good with it, so we went through it and it’s been nice since.

But I can imagine it’s hard for a man without prior experience of such a situation, to acclimate. But I think everyone can acclimate to it and get used to it. Just need to have very good communication to get through the first rough couple of months.

I haven’t gone so far as “let’s completely switch roles, you be the man and I’ll be the woman. You pay at restaurants and when something goes bump in the night I’ll sit here in bed holding the blanket to my chest while you go downstairs with the baseball bat.” Never occurred to me.

I used to think I’d like it if women would approach me, ask me out, initiate sex, that sort of thing. Until a few of them tried. To put it mildly, there seems to be a widespread moderation problem. To put it bluntly, I have heard more women say “rape me” than “hey would you like to go out with me sometime?” It’s either that or “hints.” “Hints” aren’t hints, they’re intentionally failed attempts at communication.

When most of the women I’ve been with just outright ignored questions like “what do you like in bed?” “What do you want to do?” “Do you like that?” it makes me stop trusting them. “I don’t know I’m a repressed farm girl from a rural county in a red state, I was taught that enjoying sex isn’t something I’m physically capable of doing” is something I can work with at least in theory. But “Do you like that?” and it doesn’t even register on her face that I’ve spoken…that screams “I’m using sex against you” louder than her voice ever could.

So yeah any fantasy of a woman who takes an active role was dumped in the same mass grave as my fantasy of flying an X-wing. I’m grown up enough now to know that these things just can’t exist in the real world. In the real world I’ve had women that sometimes said “maybe I guess” and I’ve flown a few Cessnas and LSAs.

In a word, fuckyeah.

Hey!

Sure. At least I don’t think I will be salty about having the inferior wage.
Dunno about the protection part though. I would personally hope that even the weaker partner would shield me from bad things as well as the strong partner.

Removed by mod

Yes pls.

Uh, yes, definitely. A lot of guys would like this.

I’m a bi man and love masculine women and feminine men. So having the typical roles switched sounds like a dream

I’m okay with this as long as the attitude is loving and not demeaning. But I’d probably need her to be okay with it being a level playing field, and her being fine with me leading when I feel I need to.

I was once in a relationship with a woman who didn’t know how to hand off the reigns. It was tiring. But I’d love to date someone who is confident enough to switch roles whenever each other needs to.

As a bisexual: it’s the same reason I’d want to touch a partner’s boobs: because chest sexy

*Pecs, unless you’re referring to a traditional measure of pickled peppers.