This article sounds like the result of assigning a middle school student to write an instructional essay with a required word length. The middle school student asked chat GPT for help.
A plate
I prefer to call it a “Platform for Lateral Accumulation of Trace Eatables”
Or a PFLAOTE for short!
The article’s suggestion of “tear and spread” is what I was going to suggest.
Soak them in Nutella
Eat them outside walking to work.
This comment was made by a bird. Likely a pigeon. We are looking into it.
Coo
Awesome idea! And maybe you leave a trail of crumbs for birds :)
Or in case you need to find your way home again!
Just follow the birdshit
Good way to make friends with crows / ravens. Then they adopt you and maybe defend you if you get in a fight.
I flatten them on the plate with my hand and then put the jelly on top of it, similar to bread/sandwich.
Way easier to eat, but don’t tell the French :)
It’s all getting flattened by your intestines anyways :D
Toss the croissant up in the air, lean my head back, and eat it one big chomp
Eat it all in one bite.
It’s not possible. That’s like trying to eat a powdered donut and not get the sugar everywhere.
Just pick it up and eat it like a donut, basically no crumbs.
You don’t need to add any toppings to themHmm no, I don’t recommend! That’s a one way ticket to crumbtopia! I don’t want to downvote you, but I am so so compelled to. I’ll resist, for now…
Use a plate to catch any crumbs.
Or a plastic bag.
(NB, do not put a plastic bag over your head. Even for a croissant)
Well, if you can loop one handle around your neck and keep the bag safely under your chin, you should be alright.
It would make my day to see someone eating a croissant with a feed bag hanging from their neck
I’d like to see a Scotsman on a horse!
You just blew my mind.
I put it in a brown paper lunch baggie and eat it from the top so the bag catches the crumbs… for the most part!
You have to create a vacuuming of air with every bite. Just do strong, deep inhales while biting, ripping, and tearing, prior to the chewing. The crumbs will all be sucked inward towards your mouth and lungs, and you won’t have any problems
That’s the neat part, you don’t
I bite into the widest part of the middle first, then I peel the layers apart individually and eat them with a fork and knife.
