Tech icon Elon Musk's Neuralink company has achieved a groundbreaking milestone: successfully implanting a wireless brain chip in a human for the first time.
  • SomeGuy69@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    10 months ago

    Hold on, your sleep will proceed after these short ads. “Budweiser! Oh yeah taste it! So good” (50 seconds left. 1 of 5 ads)

  • paddirn@lemmy.worldEnglish
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    10 months ago

    Can’t wait for the horror movie based on a true story about all of this to eventually come out. When you read what happened to some of the monkeys in these experiments, know that whoever the fuck signs up for this is in for a shitty time:

    Wired notes a December 2019 experiment outlined in one of the documents saying one monkey had to be euthanized after a piece of Neuralink’s brain implant broke off during the surgical process, leading to infection. Another macaque mentioned — known as Animal 15 — “began to press her head against the floor for no apparent reason” days after receiving the implant, and her condition only went downhill from there:

    Animal 15 began to lose coordination and staff observed that she would shake uncontrollably when she saw lab workers. Her condition deteriorated for months until the staff finally euthanized her. A necropsy report indicates that she had bleeding in her brain and that the Neuralink implants left parts of her cerebral cortex “focally tattered.”

    https://www.theverge.com/2023/9/20/23882888/elon-musk-brain-implant-startup-neuralink-monkeys-euthanized

  • Magical Thinker@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
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    10 months ago
    Calling Gamma Ray
This is Major Cigar
Do you read me, Gamma Ray?
Gamma Ray, damn it, come in!
Gamma Ray, please respond!
Welp, his brains are fried
Pack it up, mission's over
    • Plopp@lemmy.worldEnglish
      0·
      10 months ago

      Do you read me? Do you read me? Do I need to reach through the TV? Do I need to reach through the Ouija? Houston I may have gone too Houdini

  • Aniki 🌱🌿@lemm.eeEnglish
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    10 months ago

    Look at this PR release – it’s full of lies and half truths.

    Ok, you put a chip into a brain, but

    1.) Does it even work? 2.) What does it do?

  • FMT99@lemmy.worldEnglish
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    10 months ago

    Headline is false as well, there are other companies that did this already.

      • Aniki 🌱🌿@lemm.eeEnglish
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        10 months ago

        I think I remember looking into it and its much more brute force than it sounds like. They essentially run an electrical charge through different parts of the body to react in specific ways and then wrote a software layer. It’s not anywhere near borg shit, yet.

  • taanegl@lemmy.worldEnglish
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    10 months ago

    Great. We’re a few years off from the first case of cyberpsychosis, which though a fictional condition supposed by the board- and videogame Cyberpunk 2077, will at some point happen and will be swept under the rug.

    Fucking corpos.

    • bruhduh@lemmy.worldEnglish
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      10 months ago

      Actually any psychosis occurs during brain overload which is already happened with monkeys in neuralink experiments so you’re right, wake up samurai we have brain ads to block

    • Syndic@feddit.deEnglish
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      10 months ago

      I certainly won’t trust Musk even as far as I can throw him with such stuff.

      I suspect that he doesn’t read dyspotic science fiction novels as cautionary tale but as an instruction booklet.

      • Poggervania@kbin.social
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        10 months ago

        Let’s hope Elongated Muskrat (or any other techbro) never reads I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream in that case

      • Deceptichum@kbin.social
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        10 months ago

        Sci-Fi Author: In my book I invented the Torment Nexus as a cautionary tale

        Tech Company: At long last, we have created the Torment Nexus from classic sci-fi novel Don’t Create The Torment Nexus

        • SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.worldEnglish
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          10 months ago

          “The Torment Nexus has so many applications in entertainment and use in therapy we could just not ignore this and had to make it a reality. And now, with our patented Torture ad integration technologies, advertisement is brought to a new level, a whole order of magnitude beyond what was possible before. The API to use this and our subscription service will go live at midnight, but pre-order is available right now!”

      • squirrel@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
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        10 months ago

        Sci-Fi Author: In my book I invented the Torment Nexus as a cautionary tale.

        Elon Musk: At long last, I have created the Torment Nexus from the classic sci-fi novel “Don’t create the Torment Nexus”.

  • nicetriangle@kbin.social
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    10 months ago

    Imagine how incredibly fucking dumb you’d have to be to agree to have this done to you, let alone eventually pay for it if they ever actually make it to market

    • bionicjoey@lemmy.caEnglish
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      10 months ago

      There are a lot of Musk worshippers out there who would gladly let Elon poke their brain with a pointy stick.

      • nyan@lemmy.cafeEnglish
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        10 months ago

        There soon may be fewer Musk worshippers. Which is not in itself a bad thing, but not even Musk worshippers deserve to die the way that some of those monkeys did.