If you swallow appleseed(s)
Smoke some cigarettes. The smoke will kill the bacteria
—Mac
I think a lot of people here misread ‘favorite’ as ‘least favorite’
Don’t try to bullshit me, I’m a bullshit artist.
If I ever told my dad, “are you shitting me?”, he’d reply with, “I’d never shit you, you’re my favorite turd.”
Lol love that one. My uncle was the one that used the Bullshit line on me
“If you were just more positive you’d not be complaining about being depressed all the time”.
And/or
“Have you tried just being happy for once?”
Aka fake it til you make it
Putting in my unasked for opinion that we should popularize ‘flail it til you nail it’
“Calm down.”
- 4/7/8 breathing is better advice :)
- also Physiological sigh
It’s that like “in, hold, out”?
And the silly stepsister of this saying: Calm your tits!
Very useful when you want the opposite reaction.
Burn your garbage. Burning garbage makes smoke that goes up into the sky and becomes stars.
Smoking cigarettes will suffocate the toxins in the apple skins sitting in your stomach.
“You’ve got to love him – he’s your brother, after all.”
Yeah, he’s my brother who would get angry and destroy all my things when we were young, my brother who sexually abused my youngest sibling, my brother who launched into a homophobic rant against my mom during a time when she had cancer, a brother who cheated on and verbally and physically abused his first wife, a brother who probably drove my nephew to suicide.
No, fuck him. I don’t love him, and I never will.
Anything regarding loyalty to an employer or insurance company
don’t trust anyone whose food come from box
“Don’t believe everything you read on the internet”
- Benjamin Franklin
If something bad happens, just try to forget it. You’ll feel better!
“Snitches get stitches.”
How do you expect conflict resolution to work?
With stitches…
Or end up in ditches.
“Your ____ hurts? Stub your toe then you won’t notice it as much.”
“Count your blessings.”
Useless fucking platitude that’s synonymous with “You aren’t the person who is absolutely the worst off, so being upset with your lot is inappropriate.”
See also “At least you have your health.”
The Toronto horse cops carried around trading cards for their horses as a part of a PR campaign. Ask a cop for one!
Just another way for you to be disappointed by the police. Can’t even do PR right.
“do what you love”
It’s so simple. Why didn’t I think of that before!
/S