A man with a facial disfigurement says he was asked to leave a restaurant in south London because staff said he was “scaring the customers”.

Oliver Bromley has Neurofibromatosis Type 1, a genetic condition that causes non-cancerous tumours to grow on his nerves.

Speaking to the BBC, he said when he had gone to place an order at a restaurant in Camberwell, staff told him there had been complaints about him.

“It’s a horrible thing to happen. I took it very personally on the day,” he said.

  • magnetosphere@fedia.io
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    2 months ago

    I wouldn’t want to look at that while I was eating… SO I WOULD AVOID STARTING AT HIM. Complaining about the guy is not the answer. Self control and respect are.

    • Klanky@sopuli.xyz
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      2 months ago

      The article says he thinks there wasn’t enough time for someone to complain, the restaurant staff was using it as an excuse.

      “He said: "After entering I noticed a cash-only sign, so went straight back outside to withdraw my money.

      “I went back into the restaurant to place an order, and they told me to ‘please leave’, because in their words I was ‘scaring the customers’, and there had been complaints about me.”

      He added: “There had not been enough time between the time I had been there first, and the time I went back, for anyone to have made a complaint about me so obviously the restaurant staff were not happy with the way I looked.” “

      • magnetosphere@fedia.io
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        2 months ago

        Yeah, I read the article. I was just imagining a hypothetical situation where he and I were eating in the same restaurant.

        • danafest@lemm.ee
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          2 months ago

          “at that”… If you don’t want to eat around other people that exist then just don’t go to restaurants.

            • AlexanderTheDead@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              It’s pretty clear that they are saying your phrasing was pretty dehumanizing. They didn’t get wooshed, they were pointing out your well-intended micro aggression.

              • magnetosphere@fedia.io
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                2 months ago

                It looks dehumanizing because they cherry-picked my reply. I referred to him as a person in the very same sentence. When I said “that”, I was referring to the skin grafts and scabs. Those are things. They are not him.

                The argument was not made in good faith, and/or was made by someone with poor reading comprehension. They definitely got wooshed, and it’s pretty clear that you did, too.

                • AlexanderTheDead@lemmy.world
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                  2 months ago

                  Okay bud. This means way too much to you. I think maybe you should take a step back and take a deep breath, because holy fuck.

          • FrostyTheDoo@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            Yes absolutely, the polite thing to do would be to stare at the man’s disfigurement for the entire meal…

  • JoYo@lemmy.ml
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    2 months ago

    Fuck that restaurant, everyone is too “ugly” to eat there. I can think of many DC restaurants that would love to serve them.

  • Seleni@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    See, Britain just needs Ugly Laws, like what America had up until 1974! Then they could just have the guy arrested!

    In all seriousness what the fuck. What goes through a person’s head that they think treating someone that way is even remotely okay?

    • variants@possumpat.io
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      2 months ago

      Seems like BBC isn’t checking their pictures or maybe he chooses which side to pop his eye in each morning

    • Skua@kbin.earth
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      2 months ago

      It looks to me like the first one was taken with the front-facing camera of a phone, and those often have a horizontal flip option

      • wjrii@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Pocket squares/boutonnieres are pretty much always on the wearer’s left-hand side, so that’s my guess as well.

    • Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Lmao most downvoted comment for asking a reasonable question (albeit with a pretty well understood answer). Lemmy truly is reddit 2.0

      • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        Were you expecting philosopher kings with a more advanced heuristic than “I don’t like this post”? The improvement is decentralization - that doesn’t make the users nice or smart.

            • Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              Good question. I got off Reddit after they banned third party apps, but I should probably get off Lemmy as well.

              There were a lot of great things about Reddit that originally led me there, but everything I loved about it was gone by the time I left. I was hoping Lemmy would fill that hole; I was looking for a place for great insights and opinions around niche topics. But Lemmy feels more like a political echo chamber, which is a shame.

              The original comment we’re responding to is a great example of that. There’s no reason for ignorance to be hated like it is here, but dislike and getting on the negative bandwagon is what Lemmy thrives on.

              I’ll probably be gone soon, and your comments are a big part of that. I genuinely don’t mean that as an insult, it’s just that you inspired some retrospection introspection. I guess this comment is basically just for myself in the end, but thank you.

  • Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    He said they had told him that although it was a hate crime, it was “unlikely” officers could pursue it further.

    But when someone shop lifts from a corporation, here come the cops running

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I feel so bad for this guy. Imagine the shit he has to put up with all the time. I used to work with a lady who had a big tumor on her face. She was so sweet, but I’m sure she had to put up with all kinds of horrible shit. I honestly really liked her. I would have asked her out if I hadn’t been in a relationship because we got along really well. I don’t care if you have a big tumor on your face. I’ll get used to it after I’ve seen you for more than a minute or two.

    • JackFrostNCola@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Its that simple. I dont have a hard time ignoring other tables at a restaurant unless they are obnoxiously noisy. How about ya cunts just carry on with your lives and be happy that you dont have to live with that.

    • Cephalotrocity@biglemmowski.win
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      2 months ago

      It isn’t that simple. A worldwide measles outbreak is in the news, as is the fact UK is dealing with a surge in far-right BS. As a layman all I know about measles is it has spots as a glaring symptom and is dangerous for children.

      This dude would have made me worried about a measles exposure, but a simple query assuring the proprietors it was not contagious would have resolved my concern. This dude has my sympathy because this is not the only hassle he has been forced to endure, as if the condition wasn’t enough suffering.

      • stoly@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        LOL this is a pretty common condition. You’re projecting your ignorance without taking a moment to look up the wikipedia article on this disease.

        • Cephalotrocity@biglemmowski.win
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          2 months ago

          Sorry, I’m in the middle of dinner at a nice restaurant. I’m not going to try looking up every known contagion with spots or bumps as a symptom when the person could just do a public courtesy and alleviate everyone’s concerns by just stating “I’m not contagious”.

          Edit: better yet, it’d nicer if the world wasn’t full of selfish assholes willing to spread their suffering to others intentionally so we wouldn’t even be worried in the first place.

      • Sundial@lemm.ee
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        2 months ago

        That’s not an excuse. No questions were asked, nor were there any follow-ups to clarify what was happening to him. People just didn’t want that sight while eating.

      • Deceptichum@quokk.au
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        2 months ago

        This looks nothing at all like measles, to even bother the person enough to ask such a ridiculous question is revolting.

        • Cephalotrocity@biglemmowski.win
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          2 months ago

          Yes, yes we all know everything you wouldn’t do is repugnant. Must be nice. I am not a doctor, and 99% of the population isn’t either. This could also be that new pox variant gathering steam. Point is, you see something like this reminiscent of a serious and contagious illness, in an eatery, and there are reasonable concerns for the public beyond politeness.

          Like, someone walking in to a restaurant coughing like crazy with hollow eyes and pale skin wouldn’t trigger any alarms? Be realistic.

          • Deceptichum@quokk.au
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            2 months ago

            and there are reasonable concerns for the public beyond politeness.

            No, there are not.

            This is a seriously fucked annd irrational attitude to hold.

              • Deceptichum@quokk.au
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                2 months ago

                This is real life, right now. Lemmy doesn’t exist in a different reality, everyone you are talking to here is a real person in real life.

                And it is very fucked up. It’s the sort of hateful shit one would expect from a right winger.

                • Cephalotrocity@biglemmowski.win
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                  2 months ago

                  everyone you are talking to here is a real person in real life

                  How delightfully naive.

                  Nothing f’d up about at all. Very left wing to put the well being of many over those of the few or one. Seriously, maybe come down from that pedestal and actually learn a thing or 2 about what you discuss before assuming your self-righteousness.

    • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net
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      2 months ago

      On paper, the Equality Act 2010 is great in a bunch of ways. In practice, it’s exceedingly difficult for the average person to pursue justice through it. I imagine the barrier is similar to how it works in the US, except the UK has way less of a litigation culture.

      • nondescripthandle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 months ago

        The Americans with Disabilities Act is in a similar spot then. Its a good law, but we’ve been to court multiple times to force them to actually use it. Including going all the way up to the supreme court in the Obergefell decision, and more recently seeking conscent decrees because many states still don’t follow many parts of the ADA, a 30 year old law, but continue to not suffer any punitive actions.

      • ravhall@discuss.online
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        2 months ago

        Oh, you can sue for anything in the US and settle out of court. Coffee too hot? Sue. Coffee too cold? Believe it of not, sue.

        • uid0gid0@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Hey do you know what enforcement is written into the ADA? We’ll, I’ll just tell you. There isn’t any. It’s up to the individual who is denied access to sue the establishment to get them to comply with a law that’s now 30+ years old.

        • raef@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          You need to look up the McDonald’s coffee case. The woman got third degree burns and needed skin grafts. She only sued to have her medical bills covered. The judge raised the amount because McDonald’s had been warned about their coffee temperature several times.

          • AnimePhantasm@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            Thank you for jumping on this with the truth. The coffee was so hot it fused her labia together! That smear campaign against her is such an atrociosity.

  • Hubi@feddit.org
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    2 months ago

    He said they had told him that although it was a hate crime, it was “unlikely” officers could pursue it further.

    That’s messed up.

    • Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      Welcome to British policing.

      “We have determined that this was indeed a hate crime, and therefore we’ll be doing nothing. But if it happens two more times we’ll congratulate them on the hat trick and offer to enroll them in the police academy.”

        • Cosmonauticus@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Living in Europe I have to constantly remind ppl that American racism is just European racism with better access to guns

        • Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works
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          2 months ago

          I mean, the sad part is that Britain policing started out with some really good ideas. It’s actually worth reading Robert Peel’s principles of policing by consent sometime. They are an incredible blueprint for how to create a police force that serves the people.

    • JustARegularNerd@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      The paragraph after is golden:

      The Met confirmed to the BBC that officers had visited Mr Bromley about the incident and that although no arrests had been made, the force took “reports of hate crime seriously”.

  • Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    I do feel for the guy, but I also feel bad for the restaurant. It’s not an easy position to be in. It seems like a pretty rare condition and it’s not like he will be carrying any sort of proof as to what the condition is let alone anyone on staff at the restaurant that could diagnose him or even say if the condition matches what he claims it to be.

    If someone walked in with small pox I would hope the restaurant would eject them, but it’s not like they would be able to say if it is or isn’t small pox. It’s a no win situation for both parties involved.

  • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    It seems that some British hate handicapped/disfigured people. Just read this article about a kid in a wheelchair being excluded from the school photo. https://www.theguardian.com/education/2024/mar/29/aberdeenshire-pupils-with-complex-needs-erased-from-school-photo

    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/apr/04/school-photos-disabled-children

    or people complaining about seeing a tv host with a missing arm. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2011/feb/21/tv-presenter-cerrie-burnell

    It’s just good old British Classism that never went away.

      • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        To some degree. Never heard of handicapped kids being excluded from school photos in my country though.

        • linearchaos@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          And if you were asked to leave in the US because of a facial disfigurement you could fully expect to have a business closing lawsuit won against you in no time at all. Whereas litigious AF for better or worse, usually worse.

        • MouseKeyboard@ttrpg.network
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          2 months ago

          Never heard of it. It’s difficult to know how much of the difference is the actual occurrence and how much is the reporting of it.

      • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        2 months ago

        Maybe it’s just where I was raised, but I don’t see this at all in my day to day life in the US. Things have come a very long way.

        I’m sure there are still things that are shitty that I probably wouldn’t notice as I’m not in that position… But in general, most people here don’t seem to give a shit these days.

        To be clear, I’m not referring to classism. That still exists to a degree, though it’s mostly been supplanted by racism.

        • ObliviousEnlightenment@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          We have out problems, but were actually really good about ableism, so silver lining. Still feel for that guy though, hope he gets all the good things he deserves

        • TriflingToad@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          I see people with prosthetic legs all the time at my work (grocery store) and I think nothing more of it than “that guy could do an absolutely dope robot costume for Halloween”

          I did see someone with double prosthetic legs and that was cool.

          • WhoPutDisHere@lemmynsfw.com
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            2 months ago

            As a guy with a prosthetic leg that walks in grocery stores. Yes, we can do awesome costumes. Yes, a lot of horrific discrimination still happens in the US to non-abled bodied and non-neurotypical peoples.

      • Smoogs@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Oddly enough Australia is one of the most accepting countries I’ve been in when it came to PWD. Elevators for every train platform and if one broke they fixed it straight away. They also didn’t exclude lower income people no where near as much as they do in the US, Canada or UK.

        That said, the way they treat women, First Nations and POC or just about anyone who isn’t australian leaves much room for improvement.

      • MurphysPaw@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        This is just a case of some people being cunts.

        For a community that prides itself on not being reddit, an unfortunate amount of reddits opinions and (lack of) values made it here alright.

        Or maybe that has nothing to do with the community as a whole and is just a case of some people being cunts?

  • PugJesus@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I know judging people on their appearances isn’t right, and he shouldn’t have been kicked out regardless of what he looked like.

    … but it doesn’t even look that bad? Like, “I’ve got one eye and a skin condition”, is that really what the restaurant is willing to kick people out for?

    Hope he gets some sort of justice out of this.