There is a house I walk by occasionally that I absolutely love. It’s old and run down but definitely art deco in a modest kind of way, with round balconies and a gold brick doorway. As a joke, I keep telling people this is my future house.
I say as a joke because I am a broke millennial. I have accepted my fate of never moving past paying rent for a place to live and spending the remainder of my minimalist income on avocado toast and oat milk lattes.
But recently, I saw a “For Sale” sign in front of the house and this is probably my only chance to ever see its art deco interior, if any is left, before it’s all turned into a modern and soulless place.
I have called the seller and I overheard its asking price when they referred to it as the “1.1 million euro house”. They asked twice if that was indeed the one I wanted to visit.
The visit date will be set next week.
Now, how do I sound like I’m the kind of person who doesn’t flinch at the idea of spending a million euros on a house? What questions do I ask? What might they ask me in return? What are things I shouldn’t say?
Some extra information:
- This is in Brussels, Belgium
- A permit was requested to split the house into 5 apartments (2 floors could be built above the existing 3)
- It was originally built as a single family home
Edit: this is the house
I’ve never gone house shopping in Belgium but in the US at least, you would be fine just staying vague if they ask you any personal questions as long as you keep it friendly and aren’t rude about it. If you wanted to say you have an uncle or someone like that who is thinking of investing in apartments and he wanted you to check it out for him since you live in the area, that is a totally plausible story and will provide plenty of cover for you to be yourself. In my experience in the US at least, real estate agents want to show you the properties they are selling. They don’t want you to waste their time, but if they are selling a house they generally want as many people to check it out as possible. Ideally those are people who actually want to buy it, but anyone checking out a property they have for sale is always better than no one.
Thanks for the advice, which made me less nervous to meet with the real estate person, especially because they had a visit just before me
You want to know rental prices for each unit. The last assessed tax rate. How the utilities are paid, ie, each unit has its own billing or if its all comon. What the building rates for utilities are that are not covered by the renters. Age of all building utility like water boiler / heat or anything like that and if they are on a maintenance contract. And as you walk around you are inspecting for what repairs need to be done. No need to look impressed by what you see, you are only looking to see if the property will be a cash generation machine or money pit.
Aka ack like a landlord
Ooooh, there’s a short story you should check out, by Vonnegut- “Any reasonable offer”
Let’s get you into a beautiful house. Options:
As a student, overseas relative is helping you buy, has set the budget and you’re going around and looking at places to get a feel for what’s available in the price range
Or maybe you’ve just taken a new job position nearby and want to stay in the area and the exterior has the charm you’re after,and curious to see what you get inside for the price
Pull up a few other places being sold for same price range and note a couple of small things that one of them has, that this might not. Act like those are a bigish deal because “the one over in sint-gilles has xyz, and that was one of the things on my partner’s list of deal breakers”
Look wealthy, mention offhand that financing is handled by the trust, and the board is open to investing, and you just wanted to put eyes on the place before you advise them to commit,then ask a few questions about the neighborhood after dark, so they focus on convincing you without paying too much attention to the rest
They’ll likely poke a bit about your story, and wonder about your financing, but its also super normal for people to be at the end of a long day and focused on paying attention to remembering details of the house or taking pictures and not really bothering to talk, so deflect or ignore.
Check a few faucets, ask when the electricity was brought up to code, and ask if they’ve already gotten estimates for any repairs that would need to be made before you were to move in
Do report back!
Having bought 2 in my lifetime so far my approach has always been to say bugger all to the agent. I owe them nothing. If I have questions I ask, if they ask me questions I give them the most limited information possible, obviously being polite. I always kept my cards close to my chest until it was time to lift the auction paddle.
Say very little; it’s none of their business. Dress how you normally would.
Thanks for your advice. This helped me feel less nervous about the visit. I did stay vague but friendly when he asked me personal questions.
That doesn’t look like a million euro house at all…
“Hi, I’m Vincent Adultman. Just in case you’re wondering, I’m definitely not 3 kids in a trenchcoat pretending to be an adult. Now let’s do a business.”
That’s how it felt the entire visit
Act arrogant as hell and see the REA as so far beneath you you’re honestly offended they still exist once the door is unlocked
The easiest approach would likely be “scouting” on behalf of an associate, perhaps they couldn’t make it and sent you. Take lots of pictures for your associate, and you’re not personally involved with the purchase makes it easier to handwave questions.
If you insist on pretending to be rich keep discussion light, talk about potential renovations, take pictures to send to your designer. Ask about the history of the home, dig for unique characteristics. Inquire about the area and what kind of “crowds” to expect. Don’t dress too fancy, don’t pull up in a 09 civic (park around the block and walk), and if they ask, you made a small fortune trading crypto.
Thanks, I ended up going with “wealthy overseas relative who I have to report to”
Holy shit OP DELIEVERED. Fantastic stuff, thanks for sharing! Glad you got your opportunity to check it out.
This is the perfect answer OP, a rich person would most likely never want to see a place like this in person, they’d “send someone”
People look at expensive houses more often than not. You can definitely send someone, though, like if you’re looking at a house in a different city and can’t get there just for a showing. We did that once and had our friend do a video chat with us.
Questions to ask if you feel like it:
How much does an average apartment go by in rent around this area? (This’ll create the assumption that you’ll buy it all and put all apartments to rent)
How’s the neighborhood? How noisy is it on a scale of 1-10?
Are there spaces to park multiple cars?
Ask if there’s any history of water damage or flooding - it looks like the garage would let water flow down into it. There are visible cracks near the roof. Important things to know to protect your “investment”.
Also, please do follow up. I want to know how this goes.
I don’t think a rich person who “won’t flinch at spending 1.1 million euros” would actually ask those questions, they’d just spend whatever they need on it lol
Like a 60k repair to them would be like 50$ to you or me
You make a good point. Still, I think it depends. I can see a multi-millionaire caring more about their $50 than the average person. 60k on 1.1mil is more than 5%. And when your primary goal is to gather as much wealth as possible, that matters - that’s 60k that isn’t making them more money, plus time for construction that delays making more money on the investment.
So in your head, people are rich because they throw away their money?
With pictures, ideally!
Just posted a update!
Thanks for letting me know. I’m glad you got to check the place out. Thanks for sharing it with us!
Thanks for the suggestions, I did ask about those. The agent had no idea but it made me sound more legit. Also, I posted an update!
Thanks for going through with it and posting the update!
“What schools are nearby?”
“Is the walk in humidor full or partial?”
“Can the windows be taken out for moving in large furniture? I own Salvador Dali’s favorite piano.”
Is it a problem if I pay in million-dollar bills?
“What are the local regulations for a rooftop helicopter platform?”
“At what depth are the subways should I have built a multilevel wine cellar?”
“Can you recommend a personal security firm in the area?”
“What are the permit costs for building an aquarium? Unrelated, but what are the exotic animal laws here?”
“Would it be possible to build a copy of this room, but 1/8th the size?”
“How big is the local Dutch population?”
Just say you recently came into some inheritance and that you are looking into investment opportunities. Then they will expect you to be out of your element, so you won’t need to try to pretend you’re someone you’re not. If they ask about the inheritance, say your grandfather made a fortune selling lumber or something boring like that.
This is roughly what I went with. I also kept it vague
I’m not sure about questions to ask but you should definitely wear a monocle
I’m assuming open houses aren’t a thing in Belgium? In the US, it’s no big deal to walk in to an open house and just tell the agent that you live in the neighborhood, like the house and have always wanted to see the inside. They’re usually pretty chill about that.
Seems like OP had to make a viewing appointment with the showing agent
