We might not live in the best timeline, but we sure live in the funniest one.
(no idea if it’s satire, but I appreciate the dedication to the bit, especially when he started stealing merch right after)

This is like… how you write the snivelling, untrustworthy, back stabbing, people pleaser, duplicitous ‘local guide’ archetype/trope character in a movie, with zero subtlety.
Just 110% opportunist.
Fucking wild, man.
Just 110% opportunist
Yeah, America has basically become (and, to an extent, has ALWAYS been) a factory for making endless opportunists, swindlers, and snake oil salesmen
It’s a community that rewards and even glorifies grifters. Of course there’s going to be people like that.
E.B. Farnum from Deadwood (the HBO show, anyway. Who knows what he was like in real life?)
I read up on all the real life characters when I finished the show. Apparently the show did him kinda dirty, he was a bit of an intellectual in real life.
Well, with the kind of scum listening to people like Kirk, this should net be surprising, should it?
This is the dumbest fucking timeline, but the silver lining is that if you’ve got a really dark sense of humor, there are a lot of moments that are deeply hilarious
It feels good to open the news and laugh for once. Every time it’s “the world is getting worse” but for ONCE it’s “Someone who was making the world worse got what was coming to them”
PROVE ME WRONG, LIBTARDS 🤪
Marksman:
well, okay, if you insist
“It’s actually quite a funny story once you get past all the tragic elements and the overriding sense of doom.”
– Duckman
Sure, someone just got shot and the crowd is panicking and trying to escape.
Let’s just stand here in the middle of the exit and fill a video, blocking everyone’s way out! Absolutely brilliant.
I mean, everyone’s paying all their attention to the shooting, nobody’s going to worry about the merch until later. Pretty ideal situation for a thief.
Grifters grifting off of a grifters death is grifting 101.
Grifting off grifters is a double negative so all good.
I love that he exhorts everyone to “Go to church on Sunday,” and “Read the Book of Mormon,” but immediately turns around and steals the now extremely collectible merch. Gotta love those MAGA Christian Values.
Bro is going to jail for tampering with a crime scene lol
My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined that this wasn’t the elaborate Harlem Shake drop with a crowd celebrating CKs death that I was expecting.
This feels exactly like a Conner O’Malley character and that’s horrifying.
Why didn’t the shooter save us and shoot this man too?
Everyone running for their lives like cowards. He however sees the opportunity, steals the merch and asks for subscribers. A true American patriot.
American dream. He is a business owner.
he totally owned that merch business
So what does one do with such items? Is there a collector’s market for merch sold on the grounds upon whence le charley kirke died like he despicably preached for others not himself?
“It’s the tee-shirts and caps from where there was a shooting! Somewhere in 'Murica!”
I think yes. I am pretty sure there is a market for exactly what you just described. I mean, would you be surprised if some right wingnut buys a kirk shirt and places it on his trumpian altar? It doesn’t even have to be a cultist. Captain tiny face died in a bombastic way. The morbidity of it could attract collectors.
With a big enough market there will always be buyers. There’s like a hundred million of these psychos in the USA, how many shirts and caps was this, a couple dozen? Yeah they’ll sell. Just look at that bath water girl or she sold her farts or whatever the fuck it was
Now that you mention it, there was an old shoe repairman in my town, among other knickknacks he had a piggy bank on a shelf, but it was like a bust of JFK, and the coin slot was right where Oswald supposedly “acted alone”.
But le charlee kercke is like scraping the bottom of the barrel on that political and cultural scale.
A media personality died early in a tour, yeah there’ll be merch about it
Someday he’ll make an unhinged post on LinkedIn about seizing opportunity in the face of adversity and we’ll be waiting at !linkedinlunatics@sh.itjust.works
This is about as libertarian as it gets. Free market above all else.
I’ve been saying that the murders of the health care CEO and Charlie Kirk are simply normal Free Market corrections at work, and here is more evidence.
Next thing you know, this guy will win the presidency
That would be very America
What’s the quote: one man’s death is another man’s $$.
Satire is dead
I think you mean Charlie Kirk?
Satire is alive and well, selling blood stained merch on the grey web at exorbitant prices.
Jesus will protect you
Dude is a comedic genius
His apology video included the line “I loved Charlie Kirk, he taught me things about Jesus that I didn’t even know myself”
It’s so fucking funnyDid you know Jesus’s favorite screw is torx? Sure he loves him a Canadian square, #2 of all time, but he just really loves the torx for its capabilities. He’d know being an omniscient carpenter.
in another timeline Jesus would just be the patron saint of carpenters
Instead it’s his stepdad
While everyone else was running away, this man was brave enough to run in (and steal the merch).
It’s what Kirk would have wanted
Truly the hero we deserve 🫡🇨🇱
You’re right, definitely a Chilean move. 😅
yesterday was september the 11th













