The one positive for trying to get my neurodivergance diagnosed is that I’m not actually autistic - I have ADHD and a few other disorders that made it look like I’m autistic.
Ahdh can be medicated, the other dx’s need therapy but I’m not as stuck as I thought would be.
I’m not saying autism is bad and that there isn’t help for it, just that I’ve been able to find help specifically for my issues after diagnosis
I have problems processing sensations, especially auditory and light. I tend to feel that nothing is worth my attention if it’s outside specific categories. I was walking much sooner than my peers, but refused to speak until after I was a toddler (this is when my little brother began speaking). I have extremely black and white thinking about everything. Eye contact is brutal. I’m very monotone, especially for someone afab. I get stuck on words and need to repeat them until they’ve become meaningless. I usually under-react to things. My life is guided by fear.
If you do find the courage, I recommend doing it in a way that it seems relevant and apropos to whatever discussion you’re having, rather than bringing it up separately at random. And make it known to HR too. Because once they know it, they become WAY more reluctant to end your employment for any reason.
But, if you suspect it, you have family that can probably confirm it. You can then start to learn how to save the energy you were wasting while camouflaged and put it into what matters to you.
Unfortunately I have family who don’t want to acknowledge that it could possibly be real, because then they would have to admit they did parenting completely wrong.
Is the diagnosis helpful to you at all, in any concrete ways?
The one positive for trying to get my neurodivergance diagnosed is that I’m not actually autistic - I have ADHD and a few other disorders that made it look like I’m autistic.
Ahdh can be medicated, the other dx’s need therapy but I’m not as stuck as I thought would be.
I’m not saying autism is bad and that there isn’t help for it, just that I’ve been able to find help specifically for my issues after diagnosis
What made you think you were autistic?
I have problems processing sensations, especially auditory and light. I tend to feel that nothing is worth my attention if it’s outside specific categories. I was walking much sooner than my peers, but refused to speak until after I was a toddler (this is when my little brother began speaking). I have extremely black and white thinking about everything. Eye contact is brutal. I’m very monotone, especially for someone afab. I get stuck on words and need to repeat them until they’ve become meaningless. I usually under-react to things. My life is guided by fear.
It helps with my mental health and being able to manage my autism, because for 33 years I didn’t know I was autistic and I just hated myself.
I’m 110% certain I am, and it also helps me immensely to know that. I was just curious if any additional benefits came with the official diagnosis.
I’m sure there would be if I had the courage to tell my employer. Or maybe I could get affordable health insurance/therapy?
If you do find the courage, I recommend doing it in a way that it seems relevant and apropos to whatever discussion you’re having, rather than bringing it up separately at random. And make it known to HR too. Because once they know it, they become WAY more reluctant to end your employment for any reason.
Nope. Not currently.
But, if you suspect it, you have family that can probably confirm it. You can then start to learn how to save the energy you were wasting while camouflaged and put it into what matters to you.
Unfortunately I have family who don’t want to acknowledge that it could possibly be real, because then they would have to admit they did parenting completely wrong.
Two questions to think about before you ask:
Did they do the best they could with what they had?
If you are autistic, wouldn’t you still be if your parents parented differently?