Cat: laughing silently
Also Cat: Becomes women’s best friend
This insinuates that cats can talk but just choose not to, which totally tracks.
Me looking at my cat, and my cat looking at me after reading this comment:
A cat’s tongue has barbs.
God: and if you eat chocolate it will kill you.
“Also, if you live inside the house, people can touch you anytime they want.”
And you’re allergic to chocolate
Chocolate is literally poison to most lifeforms.
And despite all of that idiot God’s petty spite toward you, you are chief among humanity’s finest companions, and we treasure you dearly.
we will make entire movie franchises about how we will go on murder sprees if someone harms you
I’ve never met a dog who wouldn’t willingly make this trade.
My dog is very cat-like in that she enjoys her personal space. She also enjoys your personal space, and will abruptly invade it when she feels like, just don’t think that gives you permission to do the same to her lol.
You wouldn’t meet those who wouldn’t would you
I’ll admit to survivor bias in this case.
Biological evolution also suffers from survivor bias. ;)
Cat: Look at this poor fuck with no friends.
Human: (doom scrolls)
Dog: (chasing tail)
Cat: (hocks furball) Clean it up little furless bitch!
Human: (drops scroll to clean up furball)
Dog: (freaking out to go walk)
Dog: (oblivious dancing on furball)
Cat: Man’s best friend strikes again.
5k yrs later: (base meme lost)My dog would eat the furball
Dogs were created by humans from wolves. Even hypothetical God doesn’t get any credit.
But we were made in his image and he imagined that we would turn wolves into pugs. It’s Gods will that pugs exist.
But this conversation is done as if they were created from scratch. It lies!
Hypothetical GOD created the earth 5k years ago, in that case dogs only appear to be tamed wolf, but are really created by god. Besides, if we are allowed magic, anything can be true
No, the universe was created last thursday, wake up
Wouldn’t that make tomorrow the first Thursday?
Wow, Last Thursday and Next Thursday are always two weeks apart, except on Thursday weirdly enough.
Time is a flat circle.
This joke has to be at least 30 years old by now.
