This woman is a nightmare, her name is Susan, and Susan recently started swallowing the supplies and we have to wait for her to poop them out if we want to use them. And as if that wasn’t bad enough she makes us talk her out for a walk whenever we want anything. Yesterday I took Susan for a walk and had to wait ten minutes for her to shit out a stapler.
You don’t need any of that nonsense. Real men insulate themselves with their feelings. As for electricity, I make that myself. They don’t call me the love dynamo for no reason.
Best thing to do is just fry the egg rolls inside your bowels. First you coat your lower intestines with aluminum foil, then you shove in the egg rolls and pour in the hot oil.
50" inch screen, money green leather sofa
If you work in education it sort of can be.
“Jared Leto is innocent until proven guilty, now excuse Jared Leto, Jared Leto has some teens to sext.”
I’m sure the spider tried
Yes, dad bought it for her after mom killed herself. It’s still in the box.
Not during hole time!
Honestly there’s enough place in places like Guyana and Suriname for you guys
This is why you have the mouse grafted to the employee’s hand for optimal efficiency
You can’t see it so you probably wouldn’t be aware of its existence
Calling it here, Costco is going to use the genetic information to create the perfect hot dog.
When I plowed through that kindergarten I didn’t get as much as a single dent. If that isn’t an endorsement, then I don’t know what is.
Is it up for sale again?! I missed out the last time!
Replace all the customer facing employees with chimpanzees with webcams that say in sign language: read what’s on the website. Whenever someone calls in or opens a chat, they’re connected with a chimp. Be sure to also include a guide to ASL on the company website. I guarantee sales will go up
In the good old days socially anxious people would just get stabbed in central park.
True. Many things got left to Beaver, some say too many things got left to Beaver. Much of McCarthyism and the Red scare can be blamed on little Theodore Cleaver.
Or maybe double down: “I live in my car.”
I grew up in an Asian household, dairy wasn’t really a thing. If I drink a glass of milk I’ll probably shit myself. That goes for most of my family. Having a glass of milk with dinner would be a really bad idea