My first car was a white 2013 Honda Fit named Scott. He was previously owned by the proprietor of a defunct kickboxing gym in my area, and acted like it. That car had chops, and legs for days. Manual 5-speed, not the sport model but still had surprisingly good clearance and a shocking ability to climb up logging roads well further than most SUV’s dared or bothered to go. Loved that guy, but he sadly met his end late last year in an altercation with a Dodge Ram. A rather one-sided argument, and a total write off.

After that I fell into a situationship with Joe. Joe was/is a 2015 manual 6 speed Chevy Trax with a bad attitude, a lean to the right, misfiring cylinders, and a steering wheel that shakes at highway speeds. I don’t like Joe, and I strongly suspect Joe doesn’t like me, so I traded him in before he had a chance to fulfill his yearning to explore the ditch.

Nowadays I’m quite happily involved with Geoff - a 2019 Toyota Corolla hatchback. Again, not the sport model, but a 6-speed manual nonetheless and a truly fun ride, with significantly better acceleration that either of my previous two vehicles. We’ve agreed that how to spell his name is for him to know, and for me to speculate. Jeff is confident, self-assured, kind & forgiving, overall a balanced and well-adjusted partner - kind of hard to get used to, to be honest.

After the last and final of many disappearances, rumours grow of a man named Anonymous. No one met him in person, but everyone knew who he was. Over time the stories are embellished and exaggerated, eventually becoming a shorthand for the very concept of anonymity

Retinal photosynthesis, also known as the Purple Earth Theory. Colours are weird. Earth plants absorb red and blue light, they look green to us because that’s the wavelength of light that cannot be used by the chloroplasts.

It’s hypothesized that this was advantageous on Earth because blue light goes further into water than the other wavelengths, facilitating the development of photosynthetic algae

Retinal photosynthesis is another viable chemical chain reaction that could be used to create ATP (usable biological energy) from light.

It’s another molecule similar to chlorophyll, but it absorbs green light instead of red/blue - alien planets might be purple!

There’s a viable parallel evolutionary pathway that leads to plants with magenta leaves

As another commenter mentioned, longest period of time without electricity for me would be about two weeks in Algonquin Park, Ontario Canada. A couple of our canoe trips were ten days at least… the drive back to civilization is always a bit strange, 40 km/h feels really fast at first, it’s a bit scary getting onto the highway and the lights everywhere are very distracting for the first couple of hours.

Longest period of time at home would be about two weeks without power during the 1998 Ice Storm. We had a wood stove, so we did okay for heat and managed to cook on the flat metal top. It hit in several rainstorms over the course of about a week, and took years to clean up afterwards. Power went out on the first night and didn’t come back on until at least ten days later, not sure exactly now.

I remember being 8 years old, watching the rain come down in waves, gently, onto bent over tree branches that were sparkling as they swayed back and forth in the wind, thousands of gems on the tips of the branches, reflecting orange glow from the streetlight beside.

By the third day of that, there was cannonfire in the back fourty. Branches were breaking under the weight, falling to earth with a thundering “boom” as they made the 2” sheet of ice over the snow vibrate like a giant’s drum. A tinkling sound, like tiny bells, would follow as the shards bounced upwards and settled across the surface.

Strange times. Lots of candles. Gets boring at night when you start running out. Wasn’t allowed to go outside for a long time because of the falling branches.

When we finally did go outside, I almost died because we went sledding. Turns out plastic “crazy carpets” go, well, crazy fast on that kind of ice. Luckily I went through a patch of small trees instead of smashing into one of the big ones. In retrospect, we picked a really bad spot to go sledding. Learned pretty quick that just sliding down on our bellies like otters worked better. Didn’t go back to school until almost the end of January so we had lots of time to practice, it was great.

The bush was a mess for years afterwards. Just a tangle of fallen branches and small trees shooting up between. The rabbit population exploded as a result, it was perfect habitat out there for them. I found a patch of snow at the end of June that year, hidden away under a whole pile of pine branches. We tapped the trees that spring but shouldn’t have even bothered, we only got about 5 litres of maple syrup instead of the usual 20 to 25

“Toe the party line” To align with the interests of a political party; to get in line with the agenda of the leader of a political party

“Tow the party line” Something to do with tugboats

Whosaburger

Whataburger

Whereaburger

Whenaburger

Whyaburger

Howaburger

I’m sad that our timeline only has one component of the Infinite Burger Mystery. Happy that we don’t live in the Whosaburger universe though

I remember watching TV as a kid and deciding that, when I grow up, I want to be just like:

A) Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman,

B) that hot Mountie from Due South, and

C) The Littlest Hobo

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work

“Can I be frank with you?”

“Sure! You be Frank and I’ll be Ernest”

On my eggs, of course

Fell asleep on the TTC (Toronto subway) one time while we were travelling along a particularly old part of the tunnels.

I was dozing and staying kind of peripherally aware of my surroundings. Late at night, old model of subway car. One or two people at the other end of the car, in one of the cars far down the line away from the driver, second or third from the rear car.

Going through a section of tunnel, in the dark between one light and the next, I suddenly felt… surrounded. My eyes were closed, and for a second or two I distinctly felt the sensation of hands. All over my body, like I was passing through a crowd of people all grabbing at my arms, my legs, my hair. Cold, like holding your hands in your armpits on a winter day when you forget your gloves. Reaching, grasping like pickpockets. Desperate somehow, like the eyes of a scared animal.

The sensation fled as swiftly as it arrived, either a result of passing beyond an area of influence, or a symptom of leaving a particular state of mind. I opened my eyes, and it was gone.

I don’t know how many lost souls search for answers along those tracks, hoping for relief, warmth, company, safety. I’ve seen many homeless folk that catch a few minutes of sleep on those cars late at night; I wonder how many others travel unseen.

I never fell asleep on the subway again.

One of the trickiest things about Reddit (and social media in general) for me is the homogenization of tone. Each comment is an individual person, a unique voice & perspective, accents from around the world, but the medium of text, combined with the listing of comments leading to consumption of dozens/hundreds/thousands of viewpoints, leads to a blurring and obscuring of the uniqueness of each commenter.

These comments, they feel like a consistent person - I think that’s part of what people are talking about when they refer to the “hive mind”. These highly upvoted expert opinions, they begin to slot into the “trusted authoritative voice” in your mental categorization, regardless of whether they’re actually experts or not. The wisdom of the crowd, the inclination to trust the source of those upvotes, it’s pernicious.

I didn’t think I could last without Reddit after July 1st, but the truth is I’m fucking thriving. I really only ever lurked on Reddit, wasn’t much of an active commenter, and the continual absorption of fairly minor amounts of toxicity and negativity was exhausting. Relying on my own voice, my own perspective, it’s important. When the power goes out and your phone dies, when the world turns mad around you, when all seems hopeless, there you are. No matter where you go, there you are. Yes, it might be true that everyone on Reddit seems to be miserable. That’s their choice, it doesn’t have to be yours

Unfair. Moral character has nothing to do with raw talent and skill - if shitting in a bathtub so hard you damage hotel property isn’t explicitly banned in the rule book, and the people running the contest haven’t found a method to effectively drug test their athletes for anal bead usage, then I think he should get to keep his title.

After all, there’s no rule saying dogs can’t play basketball