Similarly, I want to know what a reach-around is.

Back home, it meant that when you’re giving someone a bj, you reach around and finger their butthole.

I move out west and people are saying that it’s when a guy is banging a guy from behind, he reaches around and gives the receiver a handy.

In these trying times, America needs to know.

Yeah, he thinks he’s using a fire extinguisher, but I’m pretty sure it’s full of gasoline.

I dunno man. I reeeeaaaallly wanted to smash something when Saint Anger came out.

Here in Seattle we had a polite riot after the superbowl. We were partying in the street until the light turned green, then shuffled back to the sidewalk. As soon as the light turned red again, we would flood back into the street.

I think it might be this. A lot of traditional media outlets are mad about twitter becoming such a necessity for them. The old guard is mad that they have to cater to this bullshit online platform. The new guard is mad at the fact that the best outlet for breaking online news is suddenly owned and operated by a fascist.

All of them want to say that x is bullshit, but they don’t want to actually lose the clicks/ market share that comes with it. So they keep passive-aggressively calling it twitter.

Drunkenly thinking about it, this is kinda like calling a trans person by their dead name. Except it’s insulting a shitty company led by a shithead, so I’m cool with it.

A fuel injector is measurably better in basically every way.

I might still rather have a carburetor…

I’m still trying to find a D.A.R.E. beer koozie.

I have met many, many school teachers in my adult life and the vast majority of them are lovely people. There has only been one who I’d describe as a psychopath.

Alcoholics? Absolutely. It’s a toss-up between teachers, lawyers and nurses for the hardest-drinking group of motherfuckers I’ve ever known.

If I’m a coworker in this situation I don’t care. If I’m a manager in this situation I just don’t bother training them on anything but the basics for the job.

Players still aren’t allowed to gamble. Coaches sure aren’t. Player- coaches sure as fuck aren’t. Player-coaches who pull themselves in high- pressure situations for a Mendoza-line player can get fucked.

I thought that those were levels of price reduction.

.99 is normal

.98 is on sale

.97 is deep sale, never going to be cheaper

That’s how my buddy who worked at WallyWorld 20 years ago explained it.

Related to Dunbar’s number. The human brain is only capable of really recognizing around 100 people as actual people and understanding interactions with them. Everybody else in the world is only a person in a vague, nebulous sort of way.

Caffeine and anger.

Can we parlay this into some school vouchers?

The only surprising part of any of this is that this asshole apologized to her neighbor.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I’m gonna keep repeating this.

There are no good guys in this fight.

There are only sides.

You can choose a side, but you have to realize that that side has done terrible things to innocent people for terrible reasons.

Yes?

What’s the point of taking a vacation if I don’t get to send my coworkers pictures of my airport mimosa as they’re clocking in at 8am?

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said ‘No. But I want a regular banana later. So yes.’

Nope. 1.5 million dead Americans including my dad, shutdown economy and blatant racism making a comeback? No thanks. Don’t want.