Gods of Egypt is tone deaf CGI bloated slop and I fucking love it. Just a fun movie for me.
I know it’s utter garbage to most, not even fun bad. I’m just a total sucker for fantasy derived from Egyptian gods/lore no matter how cheesy.
$140 million budget and just barely made it back at $150.6 million.
‘Live action’ remakes of animated classics, or any remake of an already good film.
Remake the ones that had potential. but failed in the execution.
You actually wrong about this one. Those movies make bank. Suburban moms ruin everything.
It’s how Disney retains the trademark on the product. Like, Snow White, for instance. If the trademark was coming up, they’d rather crap out a bad movie then let the IP go to public domain.
And the only IP of any note we got out of it is :: checks my notes:: a Winnie the Pooh slasher pic…
There’s a Mickey mouse and at least 2 Popeye ones now, too.
All those Disney live action remakes are sooo bad. People just don’t have the expressiveness of cartoon characters. The Lion King was the worst. The characters were animated and still wooden
The Cinderella one slapped. But that was the first one, and it was successful because it was made with care and thoughtful intention. Disney has been chasing that sucess ever since
Ever after will be the #1 live action Cinderella for me. That said I didn’t mind the first one they came out with.
I think Christopher Robin and maleficent were good. As long as they’re telling a new story it’s fun to see the old characters. When it’s just the exact same plot but a little darker and live action over animation it’s so dumb. Our CGI just ain’t good enough to justify that.
They’re remaking Moana already, and still a new movie, relative.
Moana is all about the musical performances. I love the whole movie but what is on the screen just kinda punctuates and gives context to the music for me. Frozen is the same way. And they’re thinking they are going to remake all that music and have it be just as good?
It would be like trying to remake The Blues Brothers with Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham just because the original is 40 years old.
Live action remakes are the end point of capitalism in media. Take something that
people likedmade money, and do it again with the same formula but a fresh coat of paint. No need to hire writers or spend time making a good story, just use the last one. No risks were ever taken.
Captain America. Especially the one with a person of colour in the title role.
I dont think black people existed in the 50s. At least according to maga
Americans are not a monolith, and the fact you act as such says a lot more about you than you’d ever care to admit.
They are like two monoliths. Both are stupid.
I’d pay good money to see an animated adaptation of Truth in the Kyle Baker art style…
Pearl Harbor. 5 minutes of cool CGI, rest of it being absolutely forgettable.
What’s the CGI? The attack scene itself is way longer than that
I was in the Navy and my ship visited Pearl Harbor in the 90s. We gave honors to the ship monuments and it was a great honor to be apart of that. It was a memory I really cherish.
When the bad reviews started coming out almost immediately, I knew I could never watch that movie and hold my personal memories in the same regard.
so I have never seen it and will walk out of the room if someone insists on watching it around me.
Take Titanic, where the movie is a romance that happens to be set in a historical event.
Now imagine that instead of a director who really loves the ocean, it’s a director who really loves blowing shit up. That’s Pearl Harbor, and you would be correct for avoiding it with violence if necessary.
I’m sure I remember seeing a parody trailer of “Titanic directed by Michael Bay”
EDIT: Yup, https://youtu.be/dJxj1mou03M
You’re not missing much. I saw it around the time it came out and will not watch it again. There are just too many things that are a better use of my time, like shampooing the family dog or taking a nap.
Id rather watch earl arbor. Its about a guy named earl who is also a tree.
To be fair that could be a wild movie
Hear that Hollywood, call me.
It was so bad that Team America World Police had a song about how bad it was as their ballad.
All of them.
Hot take! We’ve got a hot take over here!
Yeah, but which
Hollywood hasn’t produced anything original in 10 years or so. Everything has been reboots or adaptations from books.
Tell me you don’t watch indie movies without telling me
The Substance not original enough for you?
While true, I just want to point out original doesnt automatically mean good. I encourage everyone to sit out some marvel movies and maybe go see like Wes Andersons latest flick.
Also, its been a completely boon for the horror genre. Since kids were sitting around reading spooky comics most horror is pretty original.
I can’t find it now but I remember finding it pretty funny at the time when Uwe Boll said Leatherheads was a completely unnecessary movie. He’s right, but he also made the Postal movie.
Postal is probably his best work and he’ll fight you if you say differently.
Every Jurassic Park movie after the 2nd one.
JP3, yes. I liked the original Jurassic World, but they’re getting a bit tiresome now. It’s clear it’s a money grab.
The Room starring/produced by/executive produced/screenwritten/bankrolled by Tommy Wiseau
Hehe, any out of money for that money is big budget.
precisely
Maybe vampires?
Most of them.
Marvel movies and well basically all of Hollywood are basically a massive money laundering scheme under the auspices of the DOD/USAF.
Ask GPT. Even it knows.
Mortal Engines
It seemed like a prime IP to get its time on the big screen, being that it’s got a lot to build off of. But the sheer number of characters that were introduced throughout the movie and the ‘all of this and more awaits,’ really had me overwhelmed with having any continued interest in the “main characters” as the movie entered its third act. There were more issues, but that was the one that really sealed its fate imo.
Im pretty sure I watched this movie but I cant remember how it went
All MCU films after Endgame, also all Ant-Man films.
Edgar Wright’s version of ant-man would have been interesting.
I’m not sure how big the budgets were 20ish years ago, but these 2 for me:
- the Royal Tenenbaums
- Sideways
Both are very well reviewed by the public/reviewers and I cannot fathom why.
I personally love the royal tenebaums but the first watch i was like you. Wes Anderson is weird. Its like first you need permission to like it because its so different but once youre granted that permission and can suspend disbelief the world opens up to you.
He’s like blue cheese, not for everyone and still an acquired taste.
I like Royal Tenebaum too. That intricate relationship between family members is so good to watch
The Emoji Movie
Yes. You look at the title of the movie and you go, nope.
You just know there’s some producer out there who is salivating over minion merch.
It honestly was fine for a kids movie. The story was so generic that it was impossible to mess up and would work with any character/setting.
I was disappointed with how boring it was. They should’ve leaned way more into the emoji aspect.
Let me write the script. Id tackle it with the “anything goes” energy and it would be non-stop crazy nonsense.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
I dunno what counts as big budget, but 30 Minutes or Less was seen as tasteless in how it was based on a real-life serious event that had occurred.
On a false advertising note, the movie’s run time is 1 hour, 23 minutes. Bullshit.
I’ve seen the video of that dude getting blown up. Pretty crazy
That happened where I grew up, and the details are so fucking bonkers.
