For example, today i nearly set my house on fire after forgetting a pan on the stove.
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scary! did it lose the pan?
Fortunately not, cast iron is damn near invincible. Just a lot of smoke and a brief bit of terror.
I was clearing some brush with a machete, 6 stitches in my shin.
That reminds me of a few years ago when I noticed a neighbor down the street running a weed eater while wearing a small bikini. She had on heavy gardening gloves and safety goggles, but to protect the rest of her whole body just the bikini. And it was a really big-ass weed eater too, the kind with the extra side handle. Might have even been gas powered.
Yeah, well. 🤷🏼♂️
OMG. I worked on lawn care as a teen. I still to this day avert my face away from anyone weed whacking. Received many hits to the face even with safety gear.
I know right? I wouldn’t even use a weed-eater in shorts, let along a bathing suit. What got me was the contrast between the bikini and the goggles & gloves lol.
Username checks out!
I would probably have cleared the brush before it reached my shin, that way you could probably get by with a trimmer instead of a machete. And doing it before spring has its advantages too so the beach bod is ready before swim season.
If you really don’t like your leg hair, just double up your socks. That’s no way to shave, man.
I stepped on a garden millipede by accident 😭
Every time someone says millipede I get the millipede song stuck in my head.
how did I miss this, was this part of the original Charlie the Unicorn?
just wow, thank you for sharing this
It’s a great song to have stuck in your head.
All the sequels came out far apart. If you haven’t seen them yet, I’m excited for you to find out about the 30 minute grand finale.
millipedes produce hydrogen cyanide as a defense mechanism
I think that’s why some of them smell like cherry coke - though I’ve never noticed a garden millipede smell that way.
yea the smell of almonds is H-CN being produced, its nowhere enough to become toxic to people. i remember theres a video about lemurs getting high off of the millipedes secretion, i assume its hydrogen cyanide.
I wrote a long thoughtful reply to a heavily downvoted post only to find the post had been deleted before I could hit submit, and I hadn’t copied the text.
Yeah, I wish there was a way to delete a post with out deleting it to preserve comments.
Maybe an “abandon” feature. It removes your user name from public view and does a simple find and replace to remove your name in the comments. The post can live on, but now you have nothing to do with it. The user would have a “abandoned post” counter, this so we know if a user is constantly abandoning posts and can block them. Or put a hard cap, more than 2 a month = banned from posting until mod appeal. Posts with 0 comments face no penalty and are deleted.
Someone still needs to be able reference to the original poster for modding and blocking purposes.
Oof that is pain. I have started to just move to a local text editor when i realize the comment is getting long.
I have a window open in my preferred text editor that is perma-opened for ephemeral writing just such as you’re describing.
I have a specific file for this purpose too! For anything longer than 10 words really. I hate it when I accidentally hit enter in those little chat boxes.
I have textarea cache browser again installed (on desktop) for those rare cases where I want to recover text input.
I wouldn’t attribute a fuckup on your end though. Just really unfortunate and depressing. Caused by someone else.
Eh, the mistake was in engaging with a post that was surely about to be deleted by the OP.
I ate too many blueberries yesterday and regret it today.
Are you blue?
I didn’t know this was possible, could you share what you think the critical amount is?
This is obviously a fabrication. Blueberries are delicious and there’s no too many about it.
Found the big blueberry shill
🎵 I could see the city light 🎶
I’m someone who can eat multiple pounds of blueberries in one sitting. Next time, try spraying them thoroughly with vinegar and letting them soak for at least 5min, 10 or even 20 is better. Then rinse thoroughly with water. There are some tummy upsetting molds and bacterias that are neutralized by the vinegar. This works for any berries or easily spoilt produce. It’s majorly cut down on the “consequences” of my grape and berry binges.
Yeah, I do a vinegar bath when brining berries home from the grocery store. Just fill a mixing bowl with water, then add like two cups of white distilled vinegar. Let the berries soak while you put away the rest of the groceries.
I started doing it after I had some strawberries get visibly moldy only one day after I bought them. I was pissed. Since I started soaking them in diluted vinegar, they don’t get moldy anymore. They literally dry out and shrivel before they go bad. I just dunk the entire container into the mixing bowl, and let the entire thing float while I put my groceries away. Then give them a quick rinse with the sink sprayer before they go in the fridge.
When I notice them starting to dry out, I just move them to the freezer instead; They still taste fine, so after they start to dry, I use them in smoothies instead.
How is it possible to regret eating blueberries? Like, I need more details.
He blued himself
Blewb poop soup
If it makes you feel better, most of my major fuck ups are cooking related. I was boiling down some dr. Pepper for jerky marinade and fell asleep. Didn’t wake up to alarms until my wife woke me up. Pretty embarrassing, and really makes you doubt your own ability to do things. Eventually you get over it and just get cagey about the very specific lead up steps, which is probably a good thing.
When I was living in a boarding-school like arrangement for people with disabilities once, they had really sensitive smoke detectors and if you tripped them needlessly, you were in for a hell of liability, because they immediately caused complete evacuation pocedures and an automated emergency call where not just a small contingent of firefighters were called. One night, one person forgot their pasta boiling on the stove and fell asleep on the couch in exhaustion - so deeply and long, that all the water boiled away and the noodles burned and tripped the alarm. That exhaustion cost them several thousands of Euros.
About, oh my a decade ago, I had what I call the toffpocalypse. I was drinking and decided to make toffee from sweetened condensed milk by boiling the cans in a pot. Well I inevitably fell asleep and woke up to the alarms in the entire apartment blaring. There was a thick smoke and the dog had pooped on the floor in fear. The cans had exploded when the water boiled away, denting the ceiling and the stove hood. I turned off the stove, opened the windows, and fanned the smoke until the alarms stopped. Luckily the building alarms had not gone off.
I had intended it to be a video gaming heavy weekend as my wife was away visiting a friend. Instead I had to use wet rags to clean toffee off of the ceiling as best as I could for all of Sunday. I did manage to mostly get it all clean. It was a good lesson to learn not to actively cook while not sober, the results could have been much worse, even fatal
I set some humming bird food to boil a while back. Got distracted in the other room and smelled smoke. Went back into the kitchen and couldn’t see the stove there was so much smoke. Then the smoke alarm went off. Very effective. Took hours to scrub the burn sugar out of the pot and days to get rid of the smoke smell in the house.
Pro tip, always set a timer when you walk away from something on the stove.
I bent over the sink to clean the drain and threw my back out three hours before I had to leave on a business trip.
Had to cancel the entire thing and spend the next day on my back.
I can commiserate… One time I fucked up my back by picking up a loaf of bread. I had just worked an extremely heavy shift at work. Slinging +200 pound pieces of gear overhead, lots of bending and crawling around, etc… I was gross after work. Climbed into my car, toweled off with some baby wipes, and headed to the grocery store on my way home. I just needed milk and bread.
So I make a beeline to the dairy section and grab the milk first, then swing by the bread aisle on my way to the registers. I bend over to grab the bread from the bottom shelf… And I feel a twinge in my lower back. Just a small little tug. I stand back up, and start heading to the registers. As I continue, the twinge gets worse and worse. I didn’t even make it to the registers. I quickly found myself wishing I had grabbed a cart, because I needed a walker to stay upright. I had to abandon the milk and bread in the middle of the store, and slowly hobble back out to my car.
That was on a Friday evening, and naturally my doctor didn’t have any appointments available until Monday. So I suffered all weekend. Monday finally rolls around, and the doc basically goes “oh lol yeah that just happens sometimes. Have you tried taking any ibuprofen?” Uhh excuse me. What the fuck do you mean that just happens? Can we make it not happen?
He says it is extremely common for industrial athletes to injure themselves after work. During work, they’re careful enough to not injure themselves. They’re warmed up, they do team lifts, they’re careful to use proper lifting form, etc… Then they get into their car, drive home, cool down during the drive, and then get injured by something stupid and small (like picking up a loaf of bread, or bending over the sink) because their cold joints basically go “nah I already worked enough today. I’m just gonna rip instead of stretching.”
I was out of commission for a solid two weeks, all because of that loaf of bread. That was about a decade ago, and my back still gives me issues occasionally.
If my doctor said it’s extremely common for industrial athletes to injure themselves after work when I pulled my back out getting a loaf of bread I might well have killed them even with my back out.
If you have a issue with your back that’s serious enough you can put it out getting a loaf of bread it’s not that you weren’t being careful enough, or didn’t stretch first. You probably injured it at work and just finished it off at the grocery store.
I was working at a office supply store. The inventory manager did an all hands they decided they were going to restructure the warehouse storage. We were moving a wall of filing cabinets in the back to a different wall. They weren’t incredibly heavy but they were very bulky and we were stacking them on top of each other. Essentially lifting a four-drawer filing cabinet and setting it across the room on top of another four-drawer filing cabinet. Like many times in my young life someone said “wow you’re really moving stuff above your class, I didn’t take you for being that strong” and that was all I needed to push myself way past the limit. I left there feeling great. I stoped by my old job to hang out with some friends went in the back to help him clean up, finished my back off just lightly sweeping, next thing I know I’m laying on the ground barely able to breathe. That was 33 years ago. I’ve been put out of commission by that same exact injury on my back probably a dozen times since then, once by sneezing while sitting. I learned about 15 years ago that if I fuck it up bad enough, the disc leaks and the fluid erodes nerves downstream which gives me radiating pain which puts me out of commission for a few days to a week.
Quick tip though, since COVID-19 it is possible to get a telehealth visit while your back is out. They’ll usually make you show them how you have to get up off the floor, and they’ll generally issue you something to at least alleviate enough of the pain to let you get up and down. They’re generally apprehensive to give you serious narcotics, but they’ll generally at least give you a reasonable muscle relaxer.
I printed 200 labels at work all with a typo on it, so I had to print 200 more. Good thing the only thing that cost me was my time lol
Be glad. It could have been coffee mugs…
or 200 tattoos
I woke up to yet another day
I washed my dish towels with a yellow orange bag and now they’re super bright yellow lol
Many years ago there was something weirdly wrong with our old washing machine or dryer, I don’t know which - but white things occasionally came out stained bright pink. Not an overall tint like if you wash a cheap red shirt in the same load. It was always very distinct vivid stains, like if a little Pepto Bismol got splashed around. We never figured out what the hell was doing it.
My work decided to close for Juneteenth, but then I had to come back on Friday, and I told everyone I was going to request that Friday off so I could have a four-day weekend for the price of one day of PTO, and I forgot to do it, so I had to work a weird bizarroland hellscape Friday where we had just had a day off so we have like a little bit more energy than usual, but then the weekend is also about to hit so everyone wanted to leave, but everyone also wanted to get all of their work done, so for me it was just a fucking nightmare.
I planted hydrangeas in an area with too much sun exposure and they’re getting scorched leaves while I wait for shade cloth to ship
Hopefully you know that until the shade cloth arrives any kind of cloth will actually create shade.
Aware, but heavy storms have been passing through for the last two weeks so I’m waiting it out instead of sacrificing cloth that won’t hold up as well outdoors
Caught my shoelaces in my bike chain trying to avoid a shitty driver (I did successfully not get hit by this idiot, yay).
Tired of this bullshit and am probably going to convert my bike from chain and derailleur to belt and hub.
I was replacing the runner lights for our stairs and was having some resistance pulling, so I tried pulling the other way. It’s currently stuck and I’ll need to take off a section of molding to push it back through. At least I did the other side correctly
Wrapped my 4yo in a big towel on the way back from the hotel pool and shortly after challenged him to a race to our room. He immediately tripped on the towel and hit his head because his arms were under the towel. Fortunately just got a bump and some rug burn on his forehead
Was worried for a sec that you were going to say you got back to your hotel only to realize it wasn’t your 4yo. Would have been potentially traumatizing for everyone involved that noticed before you quietly returned the kid hoping no one else did notice and that your own kid didn’t drown in the meantime.
Recently? The worst was accidentally drinking coffee too late in the evening a few days ago, which, sadly, was more than enough to mess up my well-being for several days at this point in my life.
