Fucking England…

I wish I didn’t know what words are.

Probably depends on how wet/sticky the food is. If it’s dry then blow on it, it’s fine. Otherwise it’s probably gross and now I need to clean the rug.

I can’t find the fucking lamp! Is it even lit?

There’s a few people who’d be sad if I liked myself. That’s about it, really. Well that and the 7 medications and regular therapy.

That’s… Actually vaguely useful.

Can somebody help me? I’m trying to come up with a Tetris joke but I keep filling the screen with trash.

Smudge should come after Blur, damnit!

It’s hard to actually understand the lyrics of death metal, but the vibe’s been holding strong for decades.

Traditional. I mean when was the last time you even saw an armed sloop, much less a galleon?

Oh yeah I can’t wait for the $2,000 Enterprise model. I may have to sell my car though.

Well yeah, people figured out that disease follows famine so long ago that they made it into a doujin that turned into a religion.

He’s throwing a bitch fit that they won’t just do what he says.

When Amazon decides that your size is decided by the average, then by gawd you will pay for the average and thank them for it.

“Kevin? Maybe he decided to move upstate on purge night. I guess we’ll never know.”

This is probably the best response. Just chill and he’ll be fine.

There’s literally a pull tab there excitedly for this reason. I can’t comprehend what kind of lunatic would cut the top off like that.

The can for that extra bloody cut lip flavor.

The entire thing tastes like unwashed socks smell.