For me, driving. Its not that driving is difficult or i’m just not able to drive. Its that there are just too many awful drivers and pedestrians you have to care about on the road.
About once or twice a year I have a bad day and turn into a shitty driver unwittingly. Maybe I accidentals cut someone off. Maybe I dont stop fast enough or have o slam my brakes.
Every day I drive near 1000+ people also otw to work. If the math for them remains solid the 3-6 of them every day are unwittingly having their bad day.
Try to give the benefit of doubt when you cross one of theme maybe they are perfect drivers the other 364 days of the year…
This isn’t just good advice for driving, but good advice for life. None of us really know what’s going on in each other’s lives, all you know is a vanishingly small sliver.
We all need to be nicer to each other. It’s a cold world out there, no reason to keep shoveling shit on top of someone.
driving
I’m not even sure speeding tickets need to exist in 2025, there’s so much traffic that no one in a 55 can break 53mph.
It doesn’t ever get better. We are stuck until we mercifully die.
No matter what I do it will always be an endless cycle of unmanageable chores and work, ever-changing medication and dumb productivity tips while I watch other people do everything effortlessly because they weren’t born a disabled retard like myself. My achievements went from getting a good grade to being able to wash the dishesAn adult secret I love to teach kids is that none of us really know what the fuck we’re doing either, we’ve just gotten better at winging it over the years.
Your success in life is dictated by the social connections you have and how good you are at maintaining them. When I was young I thought focusing on my education and working harder would automatically lead to a successful career, and while good academic performance does help, what’s far more useful is having connections who will help you out, either through referrals or just by being a source of information about stuff you didn’t know and it’s easy to have some social life in school or college without much effort, because everyone meets up at a single place, as an adult socialization takes effort, cause now everyone is away living their own busy lives and it’s not as easy to meet up face to face. This is why rich people like exclusive clubs so much, being able to be in the right social circles and having the ear of influential people will pay huge dividents. Also being a skilled liar is definately a very useful skill to have.
That my abusive mother had 3 kids by a previous marriage. She gave up full custody so she could keep the (shitty, old) house. I learned this when I was 18 or 19.
Every single thing anyone says or does is in self-interest.
Like, I have almost never witnessed anything contrary to it.
You mean… mothers breastfeeding feeding their children? You mean men who find big rocks and throw them into water from heights to make a big splash? Do you mean people who donate their organs to other people? Do you mean the many artists, scientists, teachers, and basically everyone else that gets their ass out of bed every day to then put a smile on their face for other people, despite feeling existential despair inside because the last shred of reason for being has been invested in someone or something else, so they keep moving? Robin Williams?
I think we have very different ideas of what self-interest is. Namely, I think that you have confused the idea that one must suffer, or at least feel nothing, or it’s not altruistic enough. That one should not enjoy acts of love, kindness, caring, giving, art, exploration… or they’re secretly solipsistic. This isn’t the condemnation of the world you think it is. This feels like a projection of an internal insecurity onto the greater portion of humanity.
I think most people have been guilty of thinking this at some point. Rather than feel threatened by my words or that I’m being critical of you and only you, I would ask that you do what I did when I once thought this very thought… think on if you’re really willing to live the rest of your lived experience with this thought at the forefront. Not everyone gets this one right, but it could have consequences on your ability to actually ‘enjoy’ another human being without needing something from them to do so.
No one can look into someone else’s soul and divine their intentions. IMO it’s most likely that people’s internal states are a mixture of various emotions and intentions when they are doing a gesture like you’ve given examples of, probably not all of them coherent with one another.
It seems to me that it’s more a matter of perspective and you can choose to ascribe self-interest or choose to ascribe altruism but in both cases you are projecting, since it’s just unknowable.
I think free software is quite a nice case study if you want to discuss it in a relatively emotion free context. Organ donation has a lot of other moral “baggage” around it as an issue. These people are giving up their valuable skills and time to create something which is for the benefit of others. Contributors also get to put it on their CV and get status in an online community. Often the more self-interested people drop out quite quickly and the ones who want to support their community stick around longer.
That’s the thing, though. I don’t need to get lost in the nuance and come out of the other side as a ‘realist’ or a cynic. The cold calculation of incalculation… the idea that because we are not perfect judges, we should not judge at all, is sinister enough that it even has a meme: Letting perfect be the enemy of good.
When I do selfless acts - and I believe I have, if my act is seen as an act to my own benefit or with ulterior motive: I feel harmed and wish to withdraw. Why would I reason to live with the burden of seeing the world as so purely black and white that the only good that can come from it is beyond my recognition; because I too must be black and white or risk being an imperfect judge?
I’m not going to tell someone that their willingness to donate a kidney is anything less than altruistic just because there’s ‘emotional baggage’ or they don’t self ascribe properly… I’m simply willing to accept it as a good thing.
Just because the future is unknowable doesn’t relieve me of the burden or responsibility of making active choices that I feel make a positive difference, even if I can’t foresee the outcomes. Should the man that saved Hitler’s life from a crowd of angry people feel responsible for everything that Hitler did after the fact? Can I now cynically use that thought to help no one at all, so that I don’t run the risk of saving the next Hitler? Yet do these same cynics that claim humans only work in self interest not go on to complain that so many are passive bystanders to horrific events? It’s self defeating. I’d rather not be a bystander, because I feel a sense of duty to not be an enabler.
Finally, I don’t have a need to sanitize my discussions from all emotions. I don’t think that’s productive so long as the emotions are genuine and an honest reflection of my state of being.
A sincere thank you for your response. I hope my response is received as well as I intend.
Choosing the least emotive example is a trick from my old philosophy studies. If we were talking about moral philosophy and weakness of wills, then the example would always be an extra slice of cake as opposed to an extra bottle of whisky, or something else that could elicit a strong emotive response. The idea would be that you’d get closer to the heart of the issue if you can find a neutral example that doesn’t cloud your judgement by immediately giving you strong intuitions.
I can tell from your writing style that you are a romantic person though, which is awesome because it allows you to live which all of that colour you’re describing. I’m personally maybe a bit more detatched/analytic (or something like that), which I realise sounds depressing/boring but I don’t find it a source of negative emotions.
Ah, my friend… I wish I were so romantic as I’ve misled you to believe. Admittedly I’m only prone to fits of it. You are, of course, correct about the need to find a neutral ground that is less prone to bias and more fit for consumption. Lately, I’ve been struck by the need to feel my humanity and express it, wildly. I’m just making the mistake of believing that an honest presentation is enough to convince others that it’s a worthwhile endeavor, meanwhile being reckless in the attempt. A ‘rage against the dying of the light’, if you will allow.
I’m generally more as you self describe. I feel it would almost be too daring to say ‘a classical stoic’, not this new age stigma ridden thin veneer over cynicism with an edgy ‘I don’t give a shit’ attitude. So, apologies if you feel slightly offended at the suggestion we are alike in that way. As for depressing and boring; I don’t think that at all. Having that mental space --detached and analytic-- offers great benefits in introspection, self realization, critical thought, and enables me to safely empathize when it makes sense to do so.
I would like to think that I value your discussion on these topics more than you yet realize. I had an excellent philosophy teacher.
This is v true
Life is only shades of gray it’s not a marvel movie with clear cut Good and Bad
I never became adult
“You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.”
Tony Perkins to Billy Dee Williams in “Mahogany.” Heard that line years ago.
Tony Perkins from the Perkins System Ben Stiller on heavyweights?
Have you ever considered buying a device that connects to the internet and has a ‘search engine?’
Have You?
Buddy I was making a joke https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cfA39GPjxSE&pp=ygUZdG9ueSBwZXJraW5zIGhlYXZ5d2VpZ2h0cw%3D%3D
Also, lighten up. It’s embarrassing.
HAVE YOU???
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
<3
That “adults” are just kids that got older. Same goes for “old people”. Everyone was once a 14 year old. There is no dividing line where you suddenly become an adult, and there is no dividing line between being an adult and being old.
We’re all born, and we live a life of days, months years, decades… it’s just you and your one, single life. You’re always going to be you.
Make this one life count. Don’t wait. Don’t procrastinate. Make shit happen. You’ll regret it if you don’t.
I’m 28 so not old by any means, but at this point I have an established career with a lot of responsibility and a number of people working under me.
Very regularly I sit in my office and wonder who the hell decided to hire me for this job. Like I’m just some dumb kid! Obviously it’s not true, and imposter syndrome is a hell of a drug.
Definitely. I think imposter syndrome is basically the same phenomenon.
I used to think there was this Council of Smart People running the world and keeping the nuclear weapons from accidentally launching and the planes from crashing and the electricity on and the bridges from collapsing.
It can’t just be me and all the absolute idiots I grew up with now running the world. That can’t be right. Oh, Jesus…oh no.
What I learned in my years of working with younger and older adults is that most people have no idea what they are doing. Sone are convinced they do, some pretend they do, but overall it’s just a lot of whatever.
If more people realized this, life would be a lot more simple. I never grew up. I just got older.
That despite all the progress humanity has made, bigotry in all forms is still a major problem.
You have to go somewhere and do the same thing like, all day, whether you’re interested or not. And it’s way longer than school. On the plus side, there’s usually no homework.
Most Americans can’t read past an 8th-grade level, and that shocks hell out of me. When I was in 6th-grade, standardized tests pegged me at “college level”, which I figured was utter bullshit, thought I was being buttered-up somehow. Turns out it was true.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Literacy_in_the_United_States
In 2023, 28% of adults scored at or below Level 1, 29% at Level 2, and 44% at Level 3 or above.[1] Adults scoring in the lowest levels of literacy increased 9 percentage points between 2017 and 2023. In 2017, 19% of U.S. adults achieved a Level 1 or below in literacy while 48% achieved the highest levels.[2]
Anything below Level 3 is considered “partially illiterate” (see also § Definitions below).[3] Adults scoring below Level 1 can comprehend simple sentences and short paragraphs with minimal structure but will struggle with multi-step instructions or complex sentences, while those at Level 1 can locate explicitly cued information in short texts, lists, or simple digital pages with minimal distractions but will struggle with multi-page texts and complex prose.[4] In general, both groups struggle reading complex sentences, texts requiring multiple-step processing, and texts with distractions.[4]
This explains so much about all the stupid shit I see. Most Americans literally aren’t literate enough to follow a piece of literature, would struggle with any given novel.
I have a coworker who need help with basic sentences. English is her first language. I have a coworker who speaks English as a second language. Her English is flawless.
“There was a time in this country, a long time ago, when reading wasn’t just for fags and neither was writing. People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting. And I believe that time can come again!”
I used to think that movie was implausible.
Mike Judge must have psychic abilities or something because literally everything in the movie is coming true rofl.
Man Mike Judge is great. Between Common Side Effects and the KotH renewal, Judge fans are eating good.
Except that he thought the problem was not enough eugenics instead of a conspiracy to return the people to that state of ignorance
Fair enough. But the end result is the same haha.
These is one huge difference though. In Idiocracy, the idiots came from the working class. In the real idiocracy, the idiots are upper class failsons of failsons.
They don’t teach the basics of colonization in school. In school books, the Pilgrims all came over on the same boat and they were all equal. The reality is that some folks came over with a lot of money and some were indentured servants. The rich got much, much richer and their children haven’t had to work since 1600 AD
Mmm yea good point. That’s a good observation.
That’s one reason so many people cling to quick catchy slogans and memes, or let good looking people spoonfeed them on TV. Reading Is soooo haaaaaarrrd!
How easy and fast it is to cook good food. My mom acted like making real mashed potatoes was sooo difficult.
I saw someone comment that they ‘couldn’t cook.’ I wanted to [metaphorically] slap them.
I can’t cook. That doesn’t mean that I am not able to when given time and resources and a receipe, that means that the amount of things I can fight through in a day is limited and I need to use that budget wisely, earning money, caring for my dog and seeing to it that my house and garden don’t fall apart.
That means, I can’t cook, even when it looks like I’m just sitting there, staring into the blue. “You just have to…”, no, you just have to, and the what you have to is “shut up” and “stop using yourself as a reference for everything”.
Do you have a freezer? If not buy one.
You can make enough food for ten meals in the time it takes to prepare one meal.
I have a five quart pot and a lot of pint size containers. I’ll make a pot of stew/chili/soup and freeze portions for later use. Right now I have three choices sitting in the freezer.
Another trick is to roast an entire chicken on Sunday, and then have roast chicken as a main ingredient for the rest of the week. Chicken sandwich, chicken taco, etc.
A big salad can last two or three days in the fridge.
Yes. You explain it as if what I have described were an intellectual problem. It is not, so the support you tried is not helpful in my case. But this is public, so, maybe for someone else.
Cooking most foods is just: take a piece or meat or veggie. Cut it into a few pieces (or not). Put in a hot pan with some type of oil or fat. Add whatever spices/seasonings are on hand (or not). Wait 5-10 minutes. Eat. You don’t even need to be standing by it for those 5-10 minutes.
I don’t know varying expertise’s story, but I’ve noticed that the people who learned to cook as children have a much better time of it than those who didn’t. When my sister was in 5th grade and I was in 3rd we were allowed to bake cakes unsupervised.
I did get to play in the kitchen as a kid, but it all really came together for me when I started cooking from meal boxes.
Love me some mashes taters.
Get the right kind and they basically can’t overcook. I just put mine on the stove at 5pm and just do other stuff until I’m hungry, at wich point I just drain the water, add butter, pepper and nutmeg and mash the potatos in about 5 minutes lol. We also get frozen creamed spinach in kind of a pellet form so that its easy to dose, throw some of that in the microwave and it’s actually a solid meal. Even more so when you start playing with other things to add. I like to put some cheese in the mashed potatoes as well, especially fresh Parmesan, but I also tried adding some leftover beef stock today which was delicious. Seasoning the spinach with a little bit of nutmeg and pepper also goes a long way.
Sorry, somehow I produced a wall of text there. Thanks for coming to my ted talk or something
Wholegrain mustard is also a great addition to mash. Does very well as a side to beef.
I learned a great mashed potato technique from a nurse in a care place for children:
Nuke a potato like you’re baking it. Then cut it in half, spoon it out of the skin, add butter, salt and milk and smoosh with a fork. Re-nuke a little if it gets too cooled down. Faster than boiling, and it tastes better because you don’t pour flavor-filled cooking water down the drain. Also no pot to wash!
The nurse did this for a single serving for a kid, but it’s how I make any amount of mashed potatoes now.
What does nuking a potato mean? Unfamiliar with the slang.
Microwave
Microwaving at full power for whatever time feels right
Oooh good point about keeping the taste bymicrowaving them instead of boiling. Not having to use a pot is also great.
Personally I dont even bother to remove the peel, my potato masher handles them just fine and I don’t mind them in my food.
Nobody cares. You’re homeless? Nobody cares. You just got dumped? Nobody cares. You’re sick? Nobody cares. You’re struggling? Nobody cares.
Sure you might have some friends who care in a very superficial way, but when the going gets tough, everybody leaves.
There’s just no hope, and you’re on your own.
You need better friends, but I don’t want to discount your feelings sometimes it is that way, and I’m sorry for it, but there are good people out there
Ain’t that the truth!
