Would you or would you not have a funeral for a toddler should they pass for whatever reason?

I was kinda shocked that my husband thought I was a monster for thinking it’s unnecessary.

The way I see it, you can’t be attached to the child until they’re old enough to display personality, which comes way later than the toddler stage; I just can’t see myself having any attachment before their personality develops. If this happened to me, I’d just chalk it up to a ~2 year time loss and go for another pregnancy. Thoughts?

  • FreedomAdvocate@lemmy.net.au
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    2 months ago

    You can’t be attached to the child until they’re old enough to display personality

    This has to be trolling. It has to be, right? Either that or you’ve legitimately never interacted with a baby, let alone a toddler, and you’ve never spoken to a parent or seen a caring parent interact with their child.

    • Last@reddthat.com
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      2 months ago

      It’s just bait. Parents get attached before the baby is even born. They’re looking for a reaction, probably

    • Joe Dyrt@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      Yes, troll talk. Leave and don’t come back to this thread. Also, why would you have a funeral for a dog?

      • Horsey@lemmy.worldOP
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        2 months ago

        This has happened before to me: we’ve adopted dogs that just didn’t make it, and even loving on them while they were around, if they passed less than a month in, I’d just move on immediately and adopt again. Surely attachment isn’t in the instant of adoption or birth, right?

        • voracitude@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Surely attachment isn’t in the instant of adoption or birth, right?

          The instant of birth, sometimes; sometimes it’s before the birth even. Sometimes it does take time; my friend didn’t feel much when his sons were born but he got attached very quickly. Still, his is the only case I’ve heard of my parent friends not getting attached at birth or before.

          I think this is just highly individual, which is why do baby people are responding so negatively. I also think that if you do end up having kids of your own, you might be surprised at how much you care about them even before the birth. Or, maybe not. I just know there’s a good chance your emotions won’t do what you think they will.

    • Horsey@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 months ago

      I promise I’m not trolling; I’m just asking in good faith. I’ll chalk it up to having an unpopular opinion🤷🏽‍♂️

      • pmk@lemmy.sdf.org
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        2 months ago

        People are disagreeing, but there is also the fact that the question reveals something about you. The people who say you might have some kind of empathy disorder could be right. That part is beyond disagreeing. If you care about people around you I think you should be open to the possibility.

      • FreedomAdvocate@lemmy.net.au
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        2 months ago

        If you’re not trolling then I can only assume you have had literally zero experience with babies born to close friends and family? Babies have personalities within weeks of being born. By 2 they’re walking, talking little people. To say you would have no attachment to them points to either zero experience or an emotional issue.