Just shoot me.

lower gun and shoots you in the back

Kill me now and you’ll never learn how to get deez…

(Gets killed anyways)

Killer: “dEeZ nUtS HaR hAr”

“Killing a sandwich only makes it tastier.”

Your mom.

Penis

discombobulate

“I just want you to understand… These edibles ain’t shit.”

Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice

I don’t want to be a vegetable

They hesitated, so there’s a chance.

I’d ask to have a conversation since I’m dead anyway - what do they have to lose? May as well go out amused.

I have information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton.

“Heh, you made one mistake… Your safety’s on.”

Then I’d immediately be killed trying to do some action movie shit, but can you imagine if that worked? That would be sick

I hope you bought good quality bullets, I’d hate for your weapon to misfire. I’m looking forward to not having to go to work tomorrow.

I Sergey we Kurt Cobain the ceiling

“It’s ok Scooby, this is the good ending, pull the trigger.”