Saw a comic recently about this topic and got me thinking. I know what “the talk” is about since it appears in so many media but I don’t ever recall having such an experience personally. Did you? What was it like?
I was a late 80s kid, just for context. As far as my experience goes, my parents were very open about sex as a natural process for reproduction. They answered openly any questions I had whenever I had them, keeping to the bare minimum necessary but never avoiding the topic- also never using metaphors as a substitute for plain facts ie. “the birds and the bees”.
So at about age 5 or so I was already aware about how reproduction worked on animals, us humans included. As I kept growing up of course I kept connecting the dots on any social aspects of sex and relationships (ie that is supposed to be pleasant, that people do it even if they’re not planning to have babies, etc) but I never had a moment of shocking realization regarding sex. I often found it stupid how some of my classmates would giggle or lower their voice when talking about anything sexual like, well, like it’s a taboo. And I was often disappointed at how much of what my classmates knew wasn’t exactly true, which at the time I chalked to their stupidity, although obviously it wasn’t their fault. They were misinformed.
By the time kids got to sex ed in highschool they already had their facts pretty much right though, fortunately.
So I’m curious about your experiences about this while growing up. Was yours similar to mine or did you sit through some awkward conversations? How did you feel about it all?
Never did.
Parents never really talked about relationships or anything with my siblings or anything. But we had a whole course in middle school that taught us the ins and outs, I guess.
no never had.
was about 30(M) when learned that the menstrual cycle in women is not the same as “heat” in dogs. was about last month when learned there is a time slice in the month where getting pregnant is almost impossible (right before / after cycle apparently ). shocked my mum when asked if humans are born with eyes open, or closed like puppies
but i never felt interested in that , just gross
My parents were Catholic, so they never talked about sex per se. My “talk” was my dad saying, “I want you to remember to always respect women. And that means not doing anything inappropriate.” Very informative.
My mother was very conservative and never talked about sex. She discovered I had discovered boobs on the internet though and freaked out, and I found out about sex with a Christian book left on my bed. It explained how I was being possessed if I masturbated
Did you believe it at the time? How did you feel once you eventually learned about sex from a non religious source?
I don’t know that I believed it, it definitely didn’t stop me, maybe gave me pause but never stopped me. I felt more guilty about it though. It wasn’t until real sex ed that I learned more healthy ideas about it
I don’t remember a talk about the mechanics of sex, pregnancy, STDs, etc. Clearly my parents were talking to me about that stuff without scarring me because I also knew it all long before sex ed (or really even before I gave any real thought to sex).
What I remember is the awkward talk with my mom after I got my first serious girlfriend about how “horny doesn’t last nearly as long as fatherhood,” the costs of hasty decisions, and “emotional responsibilities.” To be fair, there were a lot of strollers at my HS graduation and I was glad to not be pushing any of them.
Your experience sounds similar to mine.
That talk sounds awkward but necessary. I also recall my mother always stressed that if I was going to have sex to always always make sure the guy was wearing a condom.
Honestly, not really. I live in a pretty conservative family, so I never had this talk. Thankfully, I (think) I have my facts through.
Iirc, we had sex ed in 3rd or 4th grade at age 10 or 11. Maybe younger, depending on the age you entered 1st grade.
It was repeated at grade 5, I think.
I don’t remember ever asking my parents anything and they never sat me down. I don’t think anyone ever seriously told me any fairy tales or misinformation.
My parents raised me out in the wilderness in a literal compound and hour from the nearest convenience store with no phone or even a mailbox.
So yeah… I had to learn everything about the world through a little black-and-white TV in my room that had big ol’ rabbit ear antenna that if I moved just right, I could get PBS from another town that had a lot of educational programming. As long as it wasn’t about “evolution” they were fine with me watching PBS.
If it wasn’t for PBS I would probably be dead. Seriously, that life doesn’t do a person well, both my parents and a sibling drank themselves to death, others are on the way. I however, learned science, and biology, and how to read and how to do math and a host of other topics that I am going to be an eternal sponsor of PBS for. There was one special that explained sex to some degree, but was still heavily censored. My parents were too busy being high and religious to dream of having an awkward talk with their son, so I was totally on my own.
Thankfully, I learned where to find the “relationship” books on my rare ventures into town to visit places like bookstores and managed to learn a lot about sex from pilfering a book from the sex and relationship section and reading it in the kid’s books section.
I only know of one classmate who got the talk but personally I didn’t get anything like the talk just my parents understanding that I knew.
Mom’s side of the family is Catholic and my dad’s side is super reserved, so I got nothing. Anything I know comes from school health classes (which were actually really informative) and the internet.
My mom also believes that this sort of thing shouldn’t be taught in schools (at all) because it should be up to the parents to decide what their kids should know about the subject. She also says that her parents never taught her anything.
Yes, even though they were religious they told me all about sex when I asked, including sex for pleasure and gay sex
Hell no. My mother was a repressed prude and my dad never had a adult conversation with me in his life.
All sexual education I got as a child are either in school or internet (I rarely talked with my parents, and I don’t remember my childhood at all)
No, nothing ever from my parents. School had one session at some point. I can’t say I remember anything from it.
“The talk” is something I’ve only seen in american media. Never heard anyone from here europe bring it up. I just had sex ed in school some time in early teens.
