• 2 Posts
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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: August 2nd, 2023

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  • I’m a therapist who works almost exclusively with men. Here one pattern I’ve seen often:

    • Man is conditioned from a young age not to identify, process or express his feelings
    • Man doesn’t share his feelings with anyone - friends, family, partners - for years
    • Man sees woman as safe, caring and validating
    • Man confides in woman only and continues not sharing feelings with others
    • Woman becomes overwhelmed, resentful, dismissive
    • Man gets the message that he never should have opened up in the first place

    It can be true both that men need to open up more and should not treat their partners as therapists. We all need support systems because no one person can always be available to give us everything we need. It’s not wrong to confide in a partner, but if that partner is the only confidant it’s precarious for both. And I want to emphasize this is not the fault of a man, or men as a community. This is the result of generations of conditioning from both men and women, and both men and women play a part in the solution. I also want to recognize that many of us don’t have a network of people we could open up to even if we wanted to, and many more can’t afford therapy.

    If anyone reading this can afford therapy, I highly recommend it. It’s a place to undo some of that conditioning, to sit with someone who’s committed to listening, caring, and not judging.


  • young people feeling depressed and isolated is the least of your problems.

    Children are the future of EVERY country. The future is looking bleak for young people in the US. Where do you live? Are young people unaffected by social media or what?

    Out here in actual civilization though, tik tok youth drama is not representative of reality whatsoever.

    That’s the thing though. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around sometimes, but for lots of young people, social media IS their reality. This became even more true during the pandemic. We asked young people to go to school on a screen and pretend it was the same as doing it in person. Why wouldn’t they have the same mindset about chatting, hanging out, flirting, dating, etc.? They don’t see it as simulated socializing, it’s just how they socialize.


  • This isn’t really an answer to your question, but psychiatrist Arthur Kleinman came up with 8 assessment questions for asking patients to describe their conditions. The questions are designed to allow for cultural or spiritual explanations outside of the typical Western medical model.

    • What do you call your problem? What name does it have?
    • What do you think caused your problem?
    • Why do you think it started when it did?
    • What does your sickness do to you? How does it work?
    • How severe is your sickness? How long do you expect it to last?
    • What do you fear most about your illness?
    • What are the biggest problems that your illness has caused for you?
    • What kind of treatment do you think you should receive? What are the most important results you hope to receive from treatment?






  • You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. Tautology doesn’t mean obvious or predictable, and you’re basing your argument on faulty premises. The study measured how many politically-aligned couples separated in a 1-year period compared to how many politically-opposed couples did so.

    people separate because they have irreconcilable differences

    Yes, sometimes that’s a reason people separate.

    opposing political views is an irreconcilable difference

    It’s sometimes irreconcilable, and sometimes not. Couples with opposing political views are more likely (but not guaranteed) to separate than couples who agree.

    the conclusion of the research is that couples with irreconcilable differences are more likely to suffer from the problems associated with irreconcilable differences

    Nowhere in the study do they declare political heterogamy an irreconcilable difference, nor could they without 100 years of data. You keep referring to “the proposition” and “the research subject” and “the conclusion” and then inserting your own phrases and concepts that were literally not a part of the study. And this is all in defense of your original comment in which you cast an aspersion on the value of the study and then claimed that you didn’t. You’ve made previous comments with the same low-effort “study finds that water is wet” so I don’t believe we’re both speaking in good faith here.



  • No one is casting aspersions on the scientific method or the value of research

    In your original comment, it seemed like you were questioning why the study was funded, then compared it to another obvious cause-effect about kicking a dog. Did I misunderstand?

    the conclusion simply follows naturally from the hypothesis

    The conclusion might have confirmed your personal hypothesis, but we don’t assume that any conclusion “naturally follows” a hypothesis without measuring it.

    The proposition here is that people who have opposing political views are more likely to be antagonistic to each other, that is a tautology.

    The way you phrased it is a tautology, but the study didn’t measure antagonism. It measured whether couples broke up or not.