Not like, casual “Hi, how are you?” but seriously, how are you? Are you sleeping okay, is everything in your personal life going all right? And if not, can Internet strangers do anything to help?

  • isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de
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    4 months ago

    got hit by a basketball a week ago on my left thumb and it still hurts, but whatever, luckily if it gets worse I can just go to the town hospital and get it fixed for free

    I do worry for all that’s happening in the USA and for what that means for us Europeans, but there’s not much I can do apart from voting

    Parents are still on the far right ideology, I made the accident of mentioning politics and they said Zelenskyy is a dictator put in power by Biden, and that Putin is right by attacking them because they tried to join NATO…

    Whatever. I just hope I get old enough to not get drafted when Putin decides to invade us.

    I’m slowly prepping for whatever is to come, but money is tight, and nothing’s helping.

    I’m sleeping decently thanks to meds, but I still have many issues at home and at work because of ADHD, and I often end up lying on my bed with many things to do, no energy to do them, and at the same time too much energy to rest, which only fuels my frustration.

    I have a couple hobbies I do when I’m not terribly down, but they don’t involve leaving my home and my social circle reflects that, I have a couple of distant friends left and even just the thought of a partner is light years away

    but hey, my dog’s happy

    man, I wish I was my dog

  • potate@lemmy.ca
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    4 months ago

    I’m okay as long as I don’t doom scroll too much.

    I’m Canadian and middle aged. I was braced for a rough Trump 2.0, but the last month has truly exceeded expectations for suck. Our country is under economic attack by our biggest trading partner. Human rights and trying to help and support each other are suddenly considered bad things. Our window to address climate change is snapping shut as our leaders around the world move in the wrong direction. I’m feeling really good about my decision to not have kids at least.

    On the plus side, my sick cat is responding to treatment, and my partner and I have just set up a nursery - we’re going to start fostering wee kiddos whose families are going through rough spots. I’ve got some financial flexibility so I’m treating myself to a stack of coffee gift cards each week that I hand out to folks who look like they could use it. Sorta makes my day to be able to make sure someone unhoused gets a warm drink and some food.

    • toomanypancakes@lemmy.worldOP
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      4 months ago

      Politics is absolutely a mess right now, part of the impetus for this thread lol

      I’m so glad your kitty is responding to treatment! It’s so scary when they’re sick, I hope they get better soon.

      I love the coffee card idea! When I have some extra cash at the end of a paycheck I might steal that.

  • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    4 months ago

    Expect a lot of fearful people who are expecting their medicaid to get cut and lose access to healthcare.

    As someone with cancer, that’s what I’m going through.

    Not much can be done. The suffering is the point. The majority will not stand up for people like me.

    • toomanypancakes@lemmy.worldOP
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      4 months ago

      I’m definitely expecting a lot of fear, I know I’m pretty terrified myself.

      I’m so sorry, you just shouldn’t have to worry about your healthcare being dropped randomly, especially not in the middle of treating something. I hate that I can’t make your situation any better, I’m just sorry you’re facing that.

      • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        4 months ago

        I’m in the USA, I’ve been seeing this harrowing bullshit for a long time. Long before it affected me personally. I’ve been angry about it for a long time. Nothing changes, everything gets worse. I’m just a statistic. It is what it is.

        Thank you for the kindness, however. The kindness does matter.

  • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    can Internet strangers do anything to help?

    Thank you for asking, sincerely, but if Internet strangers tear into me for just having my comments have licensing footer text, there’s no way I’m going to start stating any of my real issues that I’m dealing with, for them to judge.

    This comment is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

    • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      4 months ago

      real issues

      Really not trying to be rude, but it’s like going out dressed up like a clown, and then wondering why no one takes you seriously.

      The person dressed as a clown could still have cancer, but people aren’t gonna ask about your health because you’re dressed like a clown. Perception sets expectations.

      To a lot of us, the licensing text is silly and superfluous, sorry. The courts the world over prioritize corporations over individuals and if you try to sue an AI company for scraping your comments… no offense but you’ll probably lose unless you’re a secret billionaire. That’s why it’s silly and superfluous, because the likelihood of you actually being able to protect them as intellectual property is near zero.

      You literally put it in every comment, and thus, people look at you like you’re dressed like a clown.

      • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        You’re defeatist attitude, and being so readily willing to give up your rights and protections, is disturbing to see.

        Metaphorically speaking, you don’t have to suck corporate penis automatically. It’s okay to push back, even if you fail, at least you can look at yourself in the mirror the next morning.

        Believe more in yourself, and of those other citizens around you. Don’t give in to the despair.

        This comment is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

        • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          4 months ago

          It’s not a defeatist attitude, it’s that we have fundamentally different views on copyright and intellectual property rights.

          I didn’t want to get into that part because why argue when we’re clearly on different pages, but since you want to call it defeatist and telling me I’m sucking corporate dick instead of wondering why I feel differently, I guess I’ll give it a go.

          Plagiarism is necessary. Progress implies it. It embraces an author’s phrase, makes use of his expressions, erases a false idea, and replaces it with the right idea.

          -Guy Debord, Society of the Spectacle, 1968

          I was influenced in my thought on this kind of stuff by people like Debord and Mark Hosler from Negativland.

          To mangle a quote from Hosler from a video I haven’t been able to find online in almost 20 years:

          “If you want to have control over your art: Keep it to yourself. Keep it in your home. Don’t show it to people.”

          As Dawkins theorized with memetics, when an idea is accepted into a new mind, the idea propagates and changes as it moves between people. Once that idea has been ingested by someone else’s mind, you can’t take it out of their mind again. They are generating new ideas based on the meme of your art, thought, ideas. Copying each other is literally just how human communication works, and all this work to lay claim over it is at the very best superfluous and at the very worst a gross instinct of domination and control as opposed to sharing.

          Creative Commons doesn’t even offer the license that Negativland helped develop anymore.

          Am I giving up my rights or am I living in the actual real world of how real human communication actually works? If I wanted control over these ideas, I wouldn’t bother sharing them.

            • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              4 months ago

              Thanks for the purposeful misreading and at no point making an attempt to engage with a different set of ideas. We’re done here and I will be shitting on you and your stupid fucking license vociferously from here on out because you’re an arrogant egotistical asshole.

              • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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                4 months ago

                Thanks for the purposeful misreading and at no point making an attempt to engage with a different set of ideas.

                Hard disagree. And I stand by what I’ve said.

                We’re done here and I will be shitting on you and your stupid fucking license vociferously from here on out because you’re an arrogant egotistical asshole.

                It would probably be easier (and more mature) to just use the block functionality, but you do you, I guess. 🤷‍♂️

                This comment is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

    • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      I support you in wanting to post whatever text you want that isn’t hurting other people. I do not believe your footer text is hurting other people, so you should be able to post it.

      However, I find it very annoying to read through comments and continuously have to re-read your footer because I believe it is text you are intending for your audience to read on the topic on the thread. This is my problem though, not yours.

      So my solution is to block just your footer text from rendering in my browser. Using uBlock Origin I’ve added the following filter to my browser:

      lemmy.world##[href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/legalcode.en"]
      

      This completely removes your footer from all of your posts across the entirety of Lemmy.world while leaving the rest of your posts intact.

      I believe you would support this action because you’ve communicated its for consumption by corporations and AI and not other readers of Lemmy. This may also be helpful to you, because you can refer other people like me that hate looking at your footer all the time. You get to keep your footer, and we don’t have to ever see it again. Have a great day!

      • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        I believe you would support this action because you’ve communicated its for consumption by corporations and AI and not other readers of Lemmy.

        This is not true.

        The license declaration is supposed to be communicating to all readers, as it lets others know that my content is licensed for free use for open source purposes.

        It’s not just to prevent for-profit usage, it’s also to notify that it’s available for non-profit usage.

        Also, generally speaking, there may be legal issues with stripping a license declaration from content.

        This comment is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

        • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          The license declaration is supposed to be communicating to all readers, as it lets others know that my content is licensed for free use for open source purposes.

          Well I’ve read it once, and thats all I’ll ever need to. Message received! Now we both get what we want. I don’t need to read it ever again, and you can keep posting it, I’ll just never see it.

          Also, there may be legal issues with stripping a license declaration from content.

          I’m not stripping it. Its still there. I’m just not rendering it to make it visible on my screen.

        • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          I want to steal that footer

          Here you go…

          [~This~ ~comment~ ~is~ ~licensed~ ~under~ ~CC~ ~BY-NC-SA~ ~4.0~](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/legalcode.en)

      • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Your footer rules, don’t let them haters win!

        Thanks, I appreciate the support. And don’t worry I won’t. This isn’t my first rodeo with those who don’t like it. I just wish there was more moderation on Lemmy to combat it, so I can spend more time just interacting with others on posts content itself.

        My point was just to say that while I’m sure there’s good and pdecent human beings who may disagree but be able to debate issues online with each other, there’s a whole other bunch that would rather just see things burn, if it doesn’t line up exactly to their personal belief system, and that makes it problematic for someone to expose their inner issues to everyone else, even when they desperately need their help.

        And that’s before throwing in conflict AI bots, and astroturfers trying to generate activity, that just pollutes the waters even more.

        This comment is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

        • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Safe Harbor laws say otherwise. And Law trump ToS.

          And I do believe that licenses will be enforced at some point, right now we’re still in the Wild Wild West portion of things. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to lay down my markers now.

          Also, I specifically want to make sure my comments are available for training for open source projects, which is what the license does.

          This comment is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

    • Broadfern@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      People focus so much on “but it’s not enforceable” and “you don’t own what you say on the Internet” that they forget it’s a statement of intention.

      You’re sharing your support, however nominal, for good causes. I see nothing wrong with that ¯\(ツ)

      People used to put goofy-ass sign-offs on comments back in forum days; a couple extra lines of text that don’t hurt anybody shouldn’t be an issue.

      You keep doing you, comrade. /gen /pos

      • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        People focus so much on “but it’s not enforceable” and “you don’t own what you say on the Internet” that they forget it’s a statement of intention.

        My inner tinfoil hat persona thinks its just corporate bots/astroturfers trying to shape the narratived away from every adding a license to their comments, as it truly does hold legal power.

        Regular people either agree to different degress, or think its harmless and don’t care. Its only a few that REALLY REALLY REALLY get bent out of shape about it, for strange reasons (which goes back to fueling my inner tinfoil hat persona).

        You’re sharing your support, however nominal, for good causes. I see nothing wrong with that ¯(ツ)/¯

        Exactly, or moreso, additionally. My license allows for open-source/non-profit usage of my content, giving back to everybody else.

        I just don’t believe that Corporations should be able to make money off of my content without compensating me for it, as that is one of the fundamental tenants of Capitalism.

        You keep doing you, comrade. /gen /pos

        Thanks for your support, its appreciated. o7

        This comment is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

    • toomanypancakes@lemmy.worldOP
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      4 months ago

      I feel that, just gotta keep on keeping on though. Even if today sucks, tomorrow could be better, and you can only hit the no button once.

      It’s a real sexy no button though.

      • LouNeko@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        From my experience life is a ball rolling down a hill. It never gets higher than the day before and if it hits the bottom you die.

        Your birth decides the starting height and your effort decides the slope.

        I started somewhere in the lower middle and put zero effort into life. Now I’m not even half way past others but I’m already near the bottom.

        Let’s say I’m not exactly expecting a natural end to my life at this stage.

        • abbadon420@lemm.ee
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          4 months ago

          Life is definitely not a hill, it’s a rollercoaster. And there is no bottom. If you think you can’t take it anymore, there’s always a way to take more. If your bottom gets too deep, it does get harder to climb back up though. It might take a couple tries before you’re all the way back tot he top. That’s just my viewpoint though. You might not see it that way. And if you can’t see the foothold, than you can’t climb them. Maybe a change of perspective can help. Getting out there and meeting people can help with that. Volunteering is also a good one. A volunteer job doesn’t pay in money, but it pays in other ways, like perspective, experience, happiness, purpose, knowledge, socials contacts, things that are good for the soul.

    • GrayBackgroundMusic@lemm.ee
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      4 months ago

      This is my life story. Every day, I understand more and get closer to “old man lives alone with his dog in the woods”

  • DasFaultier@sh.itjust.works
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    4 months ago

    I don’t make fast enough progress with what I’m currently doing in my job (VM images with distrobuilder and cloud-init to call ansible-pull, if you’re into that kind of masochist thing), I get too little sleep because my body insists in waking me up 1h early every day, my 4yo sleeps in bed with my wife instead of me and I miss her terribly, and though we do make good money, it’s still kind of tight.

    OTOH, we’re having a spontaneous long weekend getaway with my brother’s family and for friends in a mountain cottage coming up that we’re all really looking forward to, so there’s that. There will be multiple dogs, we’re gonna light a fire and make bread on sticks and marshmallows, and we’ll have a wonderful view over Saxon Switzerland.

    But at least equally important: how are you?

    • toomanypancakes@lemmy.worldOP
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      4 months ago

      Too little sleep is rough, I was up at midnight tonight so that really resonates with me right now lol. Maybe the kid’ll get comfortable sleeping alone soon so you can get your bed back?

      Long weekend, multiple dogs, and nice views though? That sounds fantastic, I hope you enjoy it!

      Edit oops: I’m doing okay, actually! I’ve been getting treated for depression and it seems to be working, I’ve been having an easier time kinda dealing with life despite the whole everything.

      I also totally have a concert coming up, I’m gonna see my favorite band (Delain) next month and my husband’s gonna gonna drive me so I don’t have to park or stay sober or anything, I’m looking forward to it :D

      • DasFaultier@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        despite the whole everything

        Oh shit, I forgot about the whole everything! We’ve had elections here in Germany and it’s going as you would expect, with fascists making massive gains everywhere, and them there’s the US and the environment and the war in Ukraine (which is not very far away from here), well, the whole everything. We even have a German word for it: Gesamtscheiße (roughly translates to “the overall shit”)

        You can and should be very proud for getting help for your depression. Good job on surviving, I’m glad to hear that therapy is working. From what I understand, it’s a never ending fight against an enemy that gets stronger while you blink, so don’t give up. Have a meme:

        Have fun with Delian!

  • octopus_ink@lemmy.ml
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    4 months ago

    An actual list of the “problems everyone hopes they never have” category of our various problems is pretty long right now, and many of them are more personal than I want to share.

    Shit’s not the worst it’s ever been for us currently, but financially it’s closer than my wife realizes it is (because she’s got enough to deal with right now), and (gestures around at everything Trump related) I’m figuring several of our problems are going to get worse before they get better.

    I’ve got long and medium term plans to sort most of it out, but like all such plans they depend on the short term stuff going at least more or less as I hope, and on the complete collapse of US society not actually happening.

    Glib sounding yet serious response in meme-form because this really is how it’s looking so far in my mid-late 50s:

    OP sounds like a nice person for posting such a thread, and I hope you are doing well sir or madam. 🙂

    • toomanypancakes@lemmy.worldOP
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      4 months ago

      I get not wanting to share anything too personal, totally no worries. I’m glad you have plans at least! I think we’re all crossing our fingers that the US doesn’t totally collapse, it’s interesting times to say the least. Hopefully whatever happens doesn’t hit you two too hard. I think as long we get through this mess things can start getting better.

  • rabber@lemmy.ca
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    4 months ago

    I just bought my first home and I move in tomorrow. So really good. I come from a buttfuck nowhere conservative town and I own property on vancouver island now. Hell yeah!

    • toomanypancakes@lemmy.worldOP
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      4 months ago

      Congratulations! That’s hella frickin exciting! After you get it all furnished and everything it’s gonna be fantastic, not having a landlord to pay rent to is so nice.

      • rabber@lemmy.ca
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        4 months ago

        Yeah my place is going to look like Rust Cohle’s house for a bit here. I have nothing left to buy furniture. All I have is my computer and desk, a futon, a tv, and a mattress. LOL

  • Pika@sh.itjust.works
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    4 months ago

    I’m thankful to be alive, did my oil change in my car today, my new ramps that were supposed to be good for 10k lbs snapped as I was driving off them with my 3k lbs Malibu. Least I was behind the wheel and not under the car.

    Amazon didn’t even bother having me return them, they were like “oh shit OK yea going to skip offering a replacement and sending the old ones back, here’s your money back”.

    Other than that though, feeling accomplished, I haven’t been doom-scrolling as much lately and I’ve started straying away from more political posting’s because I found that there isn’t much I could do regarding everything and it was starting to dampen the mood.

    Looking at the brighter things in life I have found helps tremendously in keeping positivity alive.

    • toomanypancakes@lemmy.worldOP
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      4 months ago

      Ooh, that sounds like it could have been scary! Glad you’re okay.

      Avoiding doom scrolling is probably good, I could stand to take a page out of your book lol

    • anarcho_vroom@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      4 months ago

      Please, please keep safety first when working with these heavy vehicles. And don’t cheap out when your life is on the line (jacks, ramps, brakes, steering components, …)

  • eezeebee@lemmy.ca
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    4 months ago

    I’ve been sleeping like shit. The air mattress I sleep on has a slow leak and deflates halfway through the night. It’s also been cold af for the last 3 months and the baseboard heater isn’t enough to heat the room.

    On the bright side I finally found a job, so the threat of homelessness is subsiding. I’m looking forward to getting a real bed, now that I know I’ll have a place to keep it.

    Relative to the last several months, I’m doing amazing. Thanks for asking.

    • toomanypancakes@lemmy.worldOP
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      4 months ago

      On an upward trend is awesome, glad to hear it and congrats on the new job! I’m looking forward to you getting a real bed too, air mattresses are awful.

  • Majorllama@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    I’ve got a tweaked muscle in my back from helping my mom move some heavy furniture around last weekend still. Other than that I have no major complaints about life at the moment.

    I do have the minor complaint that people like you think anyone who holds even one single stance that is slightly right of center is a full blown conservative (even when they have never voted red in their lives), but you walked away from that thread to make this post just like most people on this site do when they don’t know what to say to me anymore.

    So far Lemmy users seem to think there are “normal” people who are exactly like them (which is extremely far left) and then anyone who is even slightly right of that is considered a nazi conservative racist Republican shitbag that deserves to die.

    But other than those things life is peachy. How about you?

    Also waffles>French toast> pancakes

  • Zerlyna@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    My sleep has been off the last few nights. Waking up every couple hours. And I take sleeping meds to boot. I have a big audit Friday (I’m the lead auditor and it’s my first major one) so I’m hoping the next few nights are better so I’m on top of my game.

  • thesohoriots@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Any fellow insomniacs or any neurologists have some obscure wisdom? I truly don’t sleep. Since 2015, likely earlier, my sleep latency is forever, I keep waking up if I do fall asleep, and I wake up too early. When I do sleep, according to an inpatient sleep study, I barely get to stage 3 sleep for a few minutes and hang out in stage 1 & 2. There is no REM sleep happening. I have limb movement multiple times a minute. I was prescribed a CPAP a few years ago and it hasn’t helped, even with strict adherence to use. The AHI is only between 0 and 0.4 any night of the week. You name a medication, on and off label use, and I’ve tried it. My sleep hygiene is impeccable. I keep thinking one good night’s sleep will fix me, but at this point, I’ve lost hope.

    • OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml
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      4 months ago

      I’m the opposite of an insomniac - I’m a rabid sleeper and love sleep. I usually hit 9 hours a day, sometimes more.

      Here’s what works for me - most obviously won’t work for you, but give some another try if you haven’t done them yet -

      • Clean your bedsheets every couple days. Clean sheets = 😍
      • Wash your hair well and shower right before getting into bed. No smell = 🥰
      • Use white noise. You’ll never get perfect silence, so drown out noise instead
      • Turn off every single LED and light in your room. Don’t have a single light source visible while you’re in bed.
      • Get an eye mask - a high quality one - if you can’t do the above.
      • Do the workout of your lifetime - Do an all-day hike or something. You can clock out from physical exhaustion
      • Get in and out of bed at the same time every day. Start with less sleep time than you need. Force your body to recognize “I only rest in this bed”
      • Conversely, don’t do anything in your bed besides sleep. Especially don’t use your phone with the nasty blue light
      • naught101@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        That last one I heard from a psych. They also said: if you’re in bed and you can’t sleep, get up. Go back to bed only when you feel tired again. That way you train your brain that bed=sleep.

        • thesohoriots@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          This is also true. I was told to do something unpleasant like clean bathroom grout with a toothbrush to make your brain hate being up. My go-to is tidying up the dining room table.

      • thesohoriots@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Great suggestions! This is known as “sleep hygiene” and I follow it religiously, but still can’t quite get sleep unfortunately. My spouse thought I was crazy when I taped over all the little lights lol

    • isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de
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      4 months ago

      I’ve been there, people just telling “go to bed and close your eyes”, etc etc, finally solved it with Seroquel 25mg (50mg on the first nights) taken at 20:30, works like wonders

      if you haven’t tried it, suggest it to your medic

      • thesohoriots@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        I have tried seroquel, and it’s a great drug for a coma. Unfortunately I started powering through it somehow at multiple strengths. Thanks for the suggestion though!