FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
GE Unveils Revolutionary Coal-Powered Refrigerator: A Symbol of American Energy Independence and Patriotism
St. Louis, MO - GE Appliances & Services Holding Co., Inc. is proud to announce its latest innovation in home appliances: the Coal-Burner 5000, a groundbreaking refrigerator powered entirely by clean-burning coal from the rich deposits of West Virginia.
This pioneering appliance breaks free from the shackles of restrictive energy mandates and offers consumers a taste of American energy independence, reminiscent of the great coal mining traditions that have fueled our nation’s growth for centuries. The Coal-Burner 5000 not only reduces reliance on foreign oil but also provides a reliable source of energy with negligible emissions, thanks to advanced pollution-reducing technology.
“We’re thrilled to introduce this game-changing product that embodies the values of hard work, self-sufficiency, and patriotism that have always defined America,” said an GE spokesperson. “The Coal-Burner 5000 is a shining example of American ingenuity and our commitment to powering homes with cleaner, more reliable energy.”
Key features of the Coal-Burner 5000 include:
Direct coal-fired power generation for efficient cooling Innovative compression cycle design that minimizes pollutant emissions West Virginia-sourced coal, proudly supporting local economies Made in America, proud and loud “We’re not just selling an appliance; we’re selling a way of life,” said the spokesperson. “The Coal-Burner 5000 is more than just a refrigerator - it’s a symbol of our nation’s unwavering dedication to its values.”
Available now at fine retailers nationwide, the GE Coal-Burner 5000 promises to bring the warmth and comfort of home to your kitchen, all while proudly representing American energy leadership.
Not agreeing that what they are doing is right, but some of the ways appliance manufacturers earn their badge is lame. Like dishwashers dropping their electric drying/heating element, to just sponge off the hot water heater’s energy usage, and claim they are thusly more green. Or how washing machines have some kind of energy reduction operation now but they can’t drain completely which requires an energy-using rotation cycle when not doing laundry to encourage evaporation.
You don’t push for the dismantling of the platform if you have an issue, you push for reform.
I really do want more efficient appliances. Why would I want something that uses more of a resource, but cost less?
What sane fucking person thinks any of this would cost less?
Oh it’s not your decision to make
Nothings more murican than your fridge consuming more power than an entire european village, oorah!
What the fuck man…
“Lower prices”: Prices won’t go down
“Consumer choice”: This is the mantra of all corporate lobbyists. No consumer asked for this. Meanwhile they are putting tariffs on imports thus restricting consumer choice.
Fuck them.
Show me a business that actually wants MORE waste and less efficiency? I thought the republicans were all about “business can do it better”. Really?
are you serious? business dont give a fuck about waste. look at the plastics industry. lightbulbs were another historic example of something being made less efficient so that it made more money
The life duration of a light bulb depends on the thickness of the filament. If you make it thicker the lifetime goes up, but at the same time the brightness goes down. This means you spend more money on power for less light output. Look at this lightbulb that burns for 100 years or so in some fire station, it’s hardly brighter than a candle.
lightbulbs were another historic example of something being made less efficient so that it made more money
I think this was more about brightness of the bulbs. There are other examples of planned obsolescence. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen.
Didn’t you hear? Trump said plastics aren’t a concern because they don’t bother sharks as they’re munching through the ocean. So you can scratch that off the list of things worth mentioning. /s
Waste on THEIR end. Not talking about consumer waste. You already paid for it isn’t considered waste on their end. I’m talking about things like production inefficiencies, etc.
so because you paid for it, the items is magically transformed into something that isnt junk? is it more efficient to have parts of that junk shipped all over the world to be assembled then shipped all over again to be sold?
JFC, these people. Just assholes all the way down.
What utter horse shit. Prices for appliances won’t go down so much as single cent, meanwhile it will cost more to run them. Great job, MAGA fuckwits.
“Hehehehe hahaha uhuhuhu. Yew ahr nahw ohwned, though, aren’t you liberal?” -Every Beavis and Butthead dumbass donvict voter that voted just for the chaos, or the lulz, and/or to watch the world burn.
Lower prices? Best i can do is poison you with a crappy gas stove.
Regression is a top MAGAt priority.
Yeah, but PROGRESS might be progressive! It’s right there in the name!!!
Maybe we should tell them they are working on making themselves progressively worse and they might balk at the idea they are being progressives! The horror!
Yeah but why?
Like seriously, why would you want your appliances to get worse? This is obviously nice for manufacturers, but this obviously is shit for consumers and the environment.
Badically… Who votes for THIS?
Literally no one really wants this on the consumer side. Dumbasses voted for donvict for the racism, the misogyny or just to “own the libs”. More dumbasses sat out “because Gaza” and because the Democrats didn’t give them a pretty, pretty pony and they are going to stamp their feet about it until the Democrats do give them one. A few more for things like economy, because “Republicans dew 'conomy gud” (has that ever actually been true, though?).
Now that the elitists are in power, they are going to do this because they don’t give a flying fuck what the peasants want. Several of the elitists have been openly calling for the END of democracy anyway, so fuck what most people want, they’ll be doing as much as they can get away with, no matter what something silly like polls might indicate…
The manufacturer votes … With their wallets I guess ?
Ok, but it’s kinda too late for it to have any tangible effect - customers expect appliances to work better and third parties already perform reviews on them
This is mostly meat for morons
Good thing most appliance manufacturers sell to global markets who still have such standards
The issue I was going to have soon, was going to be the HVAC one. The only way manufacturers have managed to really meet the Biden efficiency standards has been to make the units bigger. I have no space left at all to get a bigger unit in my utility closet. When my almost 20 year old unit goes out, I was going to be kind of screwed. There’s nowhere to put “bigger”. I already have to bend the filter when it’s halfway out just to change it.
But not in Americavafter this. Companies might make products only for the American market.
I’ll just import shit from Canada. IDGAF if it costs a bit more in taxes.
Pretty sure California (one of if not the biggest buyer of everything in the US) can and will still set their own energy efficiency regulations.
It works the other way around too. A place with fewer restrictions becomes a dumping ground for products that don’t meet modern standards.
Here’s an example. When the EU announced the Restriction of Hazardous Substances directive (RoHS), you couldn’t sell electronics that contain lead. However, you could still manufacture them and ship them to China. This means that you could also manufacture energy intensive electric junk in EU and other countries and sell all of it in USA.
Yeah lesser cheaper and probably less safer products
I’ve never understood this. If your appliances use less energy, you save money on energy. How is that ever a bad thing? Who wants something that costs more to operate (other than those ‘rolling coal’ idiots)?
It just might make you GAY! If not that, it might make you woman-ish. Or it might shrink your penis and/or balls!
At the very worst, OTHER people might think you have a tiny, tiny penis if you are seen caring the least fucking bit about the environment! Obviously, well hung manly macho men all burn the very most fossil fuel possible at all times, in every activity they do.
What happens if women do these kinds of activities? Well, don’t ask, because it doesn’t have to make any sense…it’s kind of the same kind of thinking surrounding eating lots of animal carcasses…
Life would be a lot easier if I was just gay. What kind of stove do I need to get for that? I’m in as long as it doesn’t also have to be fabulous or something
Because they don’t function as well.
Most people just look at purchase price.
Devil’s advocate, because I do believe we should keep energy star, the high efficiency stuff is often less effective at it’s job. Sure, a water heater is a water heater. But low end and mid range HE dishwashers and clothes washers are less effective. Low flow toilets have more problems.
Energy star is absolutely worth it all told, but there is bad with the good.
Also, there’s no reason some of the the stuff should cost that much more. In a dishwasher, it’s putting in smaller pumps and a turbidity sensor.
It’s because corporations, seeking profit, will find the absolute cheapest way to get the star.
Then consumers, seeking savings, buy the absolute cheapest option that has the level of superfluous features they can find.
You end up with refrigerators that can tweet, but the compressor grenades itself 2 week out of the 1 year warranty.
I think it’s good to have some 3rd party organization, as in besides the manufacturer and consumer, imposing some restrictions that weed out companies that cut too many corners on engineering a product or are just low skilled at engineering things.
Like cars for example. The average mpg of cars has pretty much doubled in the last 15 or 20 years, which is insane for such a mature industry. They were forced to adapt and get creative by lawmakers making emissions requirements more strict. It shows that automakers could have been doing more in decades past.
It would be nice if the government wasn’t actually trying to squash efficiency. A third party could totally take it over and consumers that care would definitely purchase based on their badging.
Who wants something that costs more to operate (other than those ‘rolling coal’ idiots)?
The people charging you to operate the thing, of course.
Right wingers use populist rhetoric (and tons of scapegoating) to get people to vote for their own destruction. They keep us all fighting each other so we don’t notice the only minority ruining our country is them.
For heat pump HVAC systems, the only way to make them efficient enough to meet the requirements that were coming into effect up to now was to make them physically larger. My utility room has zero space left that could fit a larger unit. My current one isn’t looking so hot and is nearly 20 years old. I wasn’t sure what I was going to be able to do when it was going to need replaced. The standard exceeded affordable capabilities of technology.
As to washing machines. They use less water, but they also take longer and kinda suck, now.
For heat pump HVAC systems, the only way to make them efficient enough to meet the requirements that were coming into effect up to now was to make them physically larger. My utility room has zero space left that could fit a larger unit.
Huh? The part that does the actual heat pumping (and cooling when AC is on) is outside. Why would the size of your utility room matter?
The condenser/evaporator, the blower fan, and the air filter is all inside. Larger fan=more efficient. Bigger filter=more efficient. Larger surface area on the condensor= more efficient.
The pump is a tiny and inconsequential size. A Larger evaporator coil outside helps with efficiency, but it does nothing for the blower motor, airflow restrictions, and the condenser coil the air has to pass through that’s all inside the utility room.
Some of the new designs are just bad at what they’re supposed to do. I replaced a 25 year old dishwasher recently and the new one I bought is terrible at actually washing dishes. I’d gladly pay a few dollars more in energy/water to not have to hand scrub all my bowls.
Someone needs to watch technology connections.
If you’re talking about the episode about prewash and detergent amounts, I’ve already seen it and it’s not helping.
Run the tap water to get to hot water. Clean the filter.
Step 4. Acknowledge that lower speed jets from smaller motors and less ability to heat water up within the dishwasher actually do a worse job at washing dishes.
Not rocket science to figure out that hot water hitting dirty dishes with more force will clean them better.
if I remember correctly the #1 most important tip he wanted you leave with was to run the hot water before starting the cycle so the prewash uses hot water. But, it sounds like your dishwasher is just crap.
Very short term thinking:
Saving money is hypothetical and future
Meanwhile you’re instantly effected by
- higher initial price
- longer operating time
- lower water flow.
All this political catastrophe is feeding immediate visceral emotions at the cost of the future
Because poor people don’t really get to choose their appliances. Meanwhile the fossil fuel industry and landlords laugh all the way to the bank.
Landlords don’t care about energy use. Wtf u smoking
Exactly, that’s the point.
They’ll save 50 cents to buy the least efficient stove even if it means you breath in 10x more carbon monoxide.
To expand on this for clarity, there are lots of cases where the person selecting and paying for the appliance isn’t the person paying the eventual utility bills.
Landlords, builders like DH Horton, property flippers, etc.
That’s so messed up in this context
Because, from conservative perspective, anything that incorrectly influences a corporation to do something is seen as a bad thing.
These “energy savings” cost corporations gazillions of dollars that they could use for
stock buybacks and dividendsfostering innovation.If up front costs were the same everyone would choose the energy efficient appliance. However, usually the energy efficient appliance costs more up front. Many people don’t think in terms of long term costs, only short term monthly payments. I wish it weren’t that way but it really is.
Maybe 25 years ago… But walk into a Best Buy and see if you can find a full sized kitchen appliance that doesn’t have an “Energy Star” logo.
Maybe it’s just the state I live in…?
I was thinking more of permanent home appliances like a furnace, water heater, etc.
Just because those are there (I assumed it was a legal requirement), doesn’t mean most people actually factor in the difference.
My point is that appliances without the rating don’t appear to exist (in my part of the US) anymore. I’m sure they will test the waters and see if ending the program hurts their sales at all… As someone who remembers when that program started becoming popular, I do think that people would take it into account. They used to at least, before it became the norm (which is why it became the norm, by the way, before the government started to care.
The perception among idiots is that there’s a trade-off with performance
Sometimes there is usually there isn’t.
The trap is that often times when there is a performance difference, a change in behavior can accommodate fairly reasonably.
For example, a hybrid hot water heater in its most efficient mode will (sometimes) recover heat slower than a pure electric or gas heater. That generally only matters for showers, so a shorter shower can overcome the slower recovery.
Your washing machine doesn’t have a V8?
Soyboi
My washing machine is powered by endangered Snow Leopards forced to turn a large wheel.
Pfah, weak. A coal powered turbine delivers superior performance, and coal is cheaper than snow leopard food.
Yes, but I’m generating way more cruelty units than you
Bah, my washing machine runs on disabled veterans walking in a giant hamster wheel
I thought we were in an energy crisis? Ffs
The so-called energy crisis is another liberal lie, like climate change, black lives matter, gender, women’s rights, gravity, etc.
Good thing you threw in gravity… For a second there, I thought you were being sarcastic!
Woke DEI gravity. Hold yourself down by your bootstraps!
I just keep changing my consumption based on Trump’s twitter feed, it’s been a hell of a ride
Good luck with your impending hermitage, I guess 🤷
The irony being (some) Hermitages were bankrolled by the rich as decoration. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_hermit
I was actually bummed to have to stop eating McDonald’s. It was my go to comfort fast food. Between Trump’s photo op and Luigi, I just can’t support them anymore.
Gotta prevent those windmills from giving you cancer!
Just in time for expensive ass electricity when you really want your appliances to be using less energy!
ass electricity
Glad my ass runs on gas instead of electric. /j
Its almost like they don’t want people to be able to make informed decisions about things.
edit: obligatory xkcd: https://xkcd.com/37/
Glad my ass runs on gas
Haven’t upgraded to the nuclear fission powered ass?
It runs on enriched microwave burritos and, while safe storage of the byproducts of the process is still an issue, it emits significantly fewer greenhouse gases than your regular gas-powered assn
I don’t recommend ass fissures
Those only happen when you reach critical mass, if you know what I mean 😉
