Try getting better genetics loser

Fuck off. You’re perfect as you are and if you managed to “land” a partner in spite of their revulsion to your appearance you’d be fucking miserable. Find a partner based on shared interests and don’t obsess about appearance, that shit is unimportant.

Just date short and ugly girls

People are saying being funny and having confidence, and they’re right, and I’m going to tell your why that’s right. When being around you makes someone feel good, they will want to be around you more. That’s not exclusive to romantic relationships, it’s true also of friendships and business relationships, too.

An acquaintance asked me out not long ago, I declined. A mutual friend asked me “Why? He’s not bad-looking”. His looks had nothing to do with it, his negative personality had everything to do with it. The few times I’d talked with him, all he ever did was complain about stuff in general. The complaints were valid, but there’s nothing in a list of complaints that makes me think “I really liked taking to him today”. Complaints (without solutions) are inherently negative. I don’t need negative energy in my life, there’s enough of that already. It’s in going to add someone to my life, it’ll because he makes life better.

A big thing is having interests. You having a life and interests is interesting. Even if they’re not shared interests, you having something you love is having something that makes you happy. You being happy gives people positive feelings about you.

If your expectation is for someone to come and make you happy, then you are a happiness-sink. You drain joy from other people instead of mutually building up each other. No one wants a joy-drain, and I’ll be honest with you, your attitude is one of a drain.

So, the question is, how do you make a someone’s life better? Do you being laughter to her? Do you make her feel safe? Do you give her confidence in herself? Do you bring interest to her life? Do you make her feel heard and seen?

And to be clear, someone should do all those things for you mutually, too. Two people should be building *each other * up.

Be funny, very good at socializing, and rich?

Also, don’t have unrealistic standards in your romantic pursuits.

There’s a lot of preferences out there. Most try to chase unicorns but each of them have their own phases.

I think you can compensate it by not giving up, or just know when your time to chase unicorns is over.

How fulfilled is your life without a romantic partner? Do you know what you want?

The worst partners I had were the ones that had nothing going on. No goals, no hobbies, nothing. They expected me to be their world.

The better relationships I had were with people that knew what they wanted from life. They didn’t need me to complete them, but I was definitely a welcome addition.

I do not believe I am conventionally attractive, but there are people that like me. For every fella that only dates skinny blondes, there’s another that wouldn’t give them a second look. Additionally, if someone really likes you for you, you might just get more physically attractive to them even if you’re not their type. (It has happened to me!)

As for money, yes some people will only look at you if you have a lot of money. At least they filter themselves out if you don’t have it. You don’t have to be perfect with money, but as long as you are reasonable enough with money, you should be fine.

Some low self-esteem is workable, but if you are always ragging on yourself it gets grating. I was with this guy and he kept telling me how ugly he was. I would always reassure him. It was exhausting after a while. I think everyone needs validation every now and again, but constantly?! Ahhh!

If you get this stuff down, at least then you will have better chances with women. (Or whatever gender you prefer.) If your only goal is to get a girlfriend, then that is not so great. If it’s only one of your goals or something you’re passively open to, then you are in a much better position. Relationship opportunities, romantic or not, seem to crop up when you’re doing something else you enjoy.

The point of dating is having it as an option for people who like dating.

The point of love is having someone who will care for you relatively as much as you care for them.
That person doesn’t have to be the opposite sex.

@Quitmuch1938@lemmy.world By being funny and interesting, ugly and boring → you are fucked.

Additionally, growing a beard might help you

There really isn’t such a thing as ugly in an objective sense. Certainly some people have looks that will appeal to more people, but there are a lot of people out there who have unusual taste in terms of what they find attractive. There are girls out there who are into skinny guys, fat guys, short guys, hairy guys, guys with weird facial features, etc.

Some women don’t care that much about looks and are more interested in personality traits anyway. The looks just need to pass a minimum threshold for them and then they’ll care more about what you’re like as a person.

You’re not ugly, your just a niche. I’m saying this as someone who is thus far in the same situation you’re in (28M, haven’t ever kissed or anything with a woman), but I recently started dating someone, and it’s always a shock to me when she honestly tells me she thinks I’m cute.

You don’t. Who cares. Find some short ugly lady to marry and you’ll be happy.

I don’t understand this feeling of being alone forever. For every ugly dude there’s an ugly lady. For every fat guy, there’s a fat chick. For every poor dude, there’s a poor lady. That’s just how distributions work.

So go out there, be confident, find your beast and take her home. And love her and be happy.

To what end?

Many people view “looks” with a strong filter of personality. So being active, funny, nice, kind, etc. would actually, really, make you look more attractive to people.

Dress well, stay clean, get fit, improve yourself as much as possible. But do these things to make yourself a better person, not with an ulterior motive.

Good grooming goes a long way. As does dressing nicely (clean, flattering, well-fitting clothing).

Also keep in mind that what you think is “ugly“ someone else finds attractive.

There’s plenty of ugly people out here fuckin, either groom yourself well and work on your personality or lower your standards.

Money and personality. The money is optional.

There is someone out there that finds you attractive and wants a life with you, in all likelihood there is more than just that one person. Don’t expect to land a supermodel, but treat every girl that shares a bed with you as the perfect 10 that she is.