Self improvement to realize an idealized self is it’s own reward. In doing so, you become more attractive to people in a natural way. It’s not contradictory. Chasing self improvement as a vehicle to love or sex has the pitfall of losing your motivation for self improvement when you suffer rejection, but rejection is normal, common, and not as big a deal as it can sometimes feel.
If you want this, do that.
But don’t do that because you want this.
Self improvement to realize an idealized self is it’s own reward. In doing so, you become more attractive to people in a natural way. It’s not contradictory. Chasing self improvement as a vehicle to love or sex has the pitfall of losing your motivation for self improvement when you suffer rejection, but rejection is normal, common, and not as big a deal as it can sometimes feel.
If you want this, do that.
But don’t do that only because you want this.
It’s still pretty contradictory.
I think it’s just one of the necessary contradictions/lies that society requires to function.