I don’t like phone calls either. But now people are starting to send voice messages. Might just as well call me if you’re going to steal 3 minutes with every message, with info which could have been typed in 5 words. I ignore voice messages, I tell people I do yet they still get angry with “why didn’t you reply, all the messages is only 7 minutes of listening time it’s not that bad”. FFS
Honestly voice messages make me unreasonably angry. It’s all of the inconvenience of a phone call with none of the immediacy, like voicemail but for every sentence. Thank you for sharing my hatred, I feel less alone
Call: don’t pick up.
Voicemail: disabled.
“ah well, let’s leave a voice message then, I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.”
“I don’t want to use both hands to type” - use SwiftKey swipe. Works great.
“I don’t want to use one hand to type” - use voice to text. Works great.
“I just want to publicly use voice messages because everyone does it” - I don’t want you as a friend, family member, colleague or anything else. I hate you, everything you send me will be blocked and marked as spam and you just removed yourself from my contact list.
I have never liked to talk on the phone. I hate talking to someone when I can’t see their face… which is weird because I did VO for years and often did it with someone directing me remotely, but somehow that was different.
Because we don’t have those nice thick hard plastic handles to rest on your shoulder
Or how about those pink cute kool “princess” table top phones
You could fit a whole smartphone inside one of the later ones with the buttons that would leave marks on your face
9999 Teams
No no, teams is number 1
Because it is only on my work computer that I shutdown when I’m done
Basically, as soon as other reliable methods became widely adopted. No, I don’t have any phone call related anxiety or whatever, I’ll call someone if I really need to, I would just rather not. I’d much rather get a text that says, “Hey, we’re meeting up at 7pm to go out and do, XYZ, do you want to come?” than a phone call that starts with that and turns to “So anyway, did I tell you my mom blah, blah, blah… And I don’t know what to say, because I kind of want to go, but it would be a lot blah, blah, blah.”
Phone calls with friends and family have a way of spiraling off into tangents when I don’t necessarily have the time to entertain them, but don’t want to be a dick all the time telling people I don’t have time at the moment to listen to them. If there’s a self-service section to a company’s website or app, I can usually do whatever I need faster than it would take me to get through the automated menus and hold music to call and have them do it. Like my pharmacy, if I want to refill a prescription online, I log in, check a box and hit submit. Done. If I call them, I need to go through three menus to get patched through to the pharmacy, tell them what I want, hold for a moment while they help someone in the store, give them my info and wait for them to look it up, etc.
When I plan to meet up with people, I make plenty of time to talk to them and listen to whatever. When I get what I think is going to be a short phone call that devolves into tangents, I don’t necessarily have the time to entertain whether the fact that my friend’s cousin had his toe amputated due to gangrene means he should get the spot on his nipple tested for leprosy, or if he should just improve his personal hygiene and see if it washes off in the shower.
If something really is going to be a pain to communicate via text, schedule that conversation and we can have a call to discuss it, but I’m not answering phone calls whenever somebody calls out of the blue unless I’m interviewing for jobs or expecting a call about some sort of emergency.
For the workplace, calls are king. If you’re a professional, calling another professional, it’s the easiest and fastest way to exchange information back and forth. Long email chains that take several days to reach their conclusion are inefficient. If you need something done, in the work/business arena, just call. Younger generations are entering the workforce for first time and are scared to make or answer calls. It’s embarrassing.
Sure, outside of work, keep calls to a bare minimum. Family usually text first to arrange a phone call.
People have no back bone anymore. Oh no, I’m getting telemarketing calls… Just hang up.
Id say 20% of the time at work when someone calls its usually someone trying to do a sketchy end-run around the rules or get access to something they shouldnt have and they dont want it documented that they asked.
Sure, but cold calling someone is still a dick move. Professionals have schedules and deadlines. The proper etiquette is to first engage over email or text and ask if they’re free for a call unless it’s something truly urgent.
Sure, but cold calling someone is still a dick move
Thats an insane take. Especially for anyone that isn’t slave to the notification storm on a phone.
Cold calling is the equivalent of barging into someone’s house and yelling “Fuck you and what you’re doing. I’m more important.”
Again. Insane take by someone that likely is glued to a phone 24/7.
It’s okay to not answer or answer and say, call me later.
Calling with IT professionals is extremely inefficient when discussing technical details where correct settings (ip’s, ports, paths etc) matter. At best a call here is only useful to indicate the urgency of the mail that was sent.
Yeah but why phone calls? Slack or some equivalent is just superior in every way.
Why though?
What is so hard about getting a call and talking to someone?
Depends. Am I trying to get a super quick answer to a super short but urgent question? Or am I trying to haveong form communicationike a pen pal?
It gets easier the more you do it like most things.
Disagree. Part of my job entails calling people (and I even started at a phone helpdesk 20 years ago) and I still despise and loathe calling on the phone with people I don’t know for making appointments or getting quotes. To the point it will probably impact my health since my dentist only takes appointments by phone. (Before my sister in law worked there so I could DM her to ask her directly)
Exposure doesn’t always make it easier.
That sounds like you have a mental health problem.
So, you agree that the statement that it gets easier with exposure is nonsense? Or do you mean to say that every one who disagree has mental health issues? Because you’re talking about a decently large chunk of people here.
Ahh yes, everyone who disagrees with you must be mentally ill. Get bent.
But why?
Why is it so hard for you to talk to someone, to the point that it will negatively affect your health?
If I’m trying to work on something complicated, it takes 20-30 minutes to remind myself of all the disparate pieces and get into the “zone” of productivity. Your phone call ruins that and I have to start the process over again. If people keep calling or shoulder tapping me, I get nothing done.
The “talking to someone” part.
What is the problem with that?
If talking to people is a problem for you then I’d argue that you’re the problem, not obine calls. Not meant in a mean way, just saying that if you’re not able to have a normal conversation with another human being, you maybe want to look into professional mental health support
I check my texts. I check my email. I check my DM. When I want to.
YOU choose when the call happens.
And ignoring the call or turn DND on isn’t an option? No judgement, just curious.
That would be the mitigation to the problem, yes. But I’m describing why it’s a problem in the first place.
You can’t say “calls aren’t that bad because you can do everything possibly to avoid them.”. I’m avoiding them because they’re that bad.
So then why are calls that bad?
Well yeah, because I need to talk to you
People have been doing this without problems for decades, why is it a problem now if it wasn’t 10-20 years ago?
Because it forces you to drop everything out of nowhere, losing all the focus you may have had. And then you might need to hold the phone, you need to find a place where you don’t annoy everyone around you, and so you basically cannot look up anything.
Text is much superior imo, and messages can be answered whenever convenient (depending on urgency). But even people talking in real life are much better than a call. You can see them coming, you keep your hands free and a can usually stay where you are, they’re way better to understand than shitty call quality.
I’ve said this elsewhere but…
First DND is there to stop people from bugging you when you’re busy.
Second, people have been doing this for decades without problems, why is it a problem now?
And if you really don’t want me to call you or call you back … text, email or send me a message that says
CALL ME
That is the single most disgusting uninteresting uninformative and ugliest thing that anyone can text me. You can text me a dick pick, ransom demands, blackmail images, racist crap or gore pictures of something and I wouldn’t complain and probably might even respond to you … but if you just text me ‘CALL ME’, I’m blocking your number or contact and never answering anything from you again.
I mean, there could be a worse answer.
You know what, this would be easier if done in person. I have your address as ____. I’ll be by in ten minutes.
RIP your inbox
Because I take no joy in small talk, waste of time. I type basically as fast or even faster than I talk. I can maintaine multiple conversations at once. And I can answer when I want instead of being locked up with one person that gets its way.
And I can answer when I want instead of being locked up with one person that gets its way.
Was the “its” a typo or do you think of people on the phone like objects that need to be moved aside?
Typo, but when you put it that way - yes ?
I say this as an autist who used to fucking loathe talking on the phone: Its that the phone takes up too much mental energy and time, yet has a time limit on your own responses. Its hellishly stressful when you are socially incompetent, and now a lot of even non-autistic people are becoming socially incompetent.
Now its funny, I hated phone calls back when everyone loved them. Now I’m pretty OK at them because I worked at a call center for a year and now it seems like everyone now hates phone calls. I kinda recognize that the one nice thing about phone calls is there is no “set up your account before ordering your food” type bullshit. There is a consistency to phone calls.
I think I’m fairly neurotypical but I don’t like calls either (though I recognize some things are better on a call). for me it’s just that it’s feels unnatural that you’re supposed to be talking to someone just as you would normally but there’s no visual component. it’s awkward. imagine two people in the same room having a conversation but they’re looking at the wall instead of each other.
There’s also a faster sense of done-ness with a phone call: the conversation is almost always over at the end of the call, whereas with something like text it can take ages because it’s so spread out.
That… and my insecurity as to what a sane-and-polite-but-not-overdone phrasing would be fades quicker than when that phrasing has been immortalised through writing. It’s just over sooner (provided you actually manage to get through to someone)
I want shit that leaves a record so when someone pulls a “I didn’t say red”, I can pull out the text or DM or whatever, and say, “So when you said red here was it that special red that’s actually blue?”
Do the people around you do that a lot?
Sometimes I forget that some people actually make it in life. That they are left so intensely naive from living in a good place, surrounded by good people.
Good for you.
You’d be surprised how often honest disagreements arise from bad recollection. It doesn’t have to be ill-willed: we’ve all had the experience remembering a shared conversation completely differently from the person we had it with.
For me I hate phone calls because it’s someone demanding I drop what I’m doing to address whatever they want. Keep in mind, 99% of phone calls I get are at work form co-workers.
The number of “quick calls” that are actually quick I can count on 1 hand, and still have room for more. I have tasks to accomplish, things to do. And I’m spread so thin between all the things I do, there’s a fair chance I’m going to forget something about what you asked/told me. If it’s in text form I can review it when I loop back to it. You need me to check/validate/run something, cool. I have record of what, when, and if I completed it. Just because you have a question does not make it an emergency on my part.
As for my phone phone, the only folks who ever call me are either telemarketers or scams. If a friend called I’d probably answer (if I have the time). But I think most of my friends are in the same boat, we have so much to do these days (non-recreation) that it’s just not easy to find time. A lot of my friends have side-hustles or a second job or are in class (like me) in order to stay competitive. When I was a kid, I remember my parents could unwind at the end of the day, friends would just come over to hang out. It just ain’t like that no more.
Just because you have a question does not make it an emergency on my part.
This is it for me. If someone is an auditory processor, or needs a more nuanced conversation in order to understand something, I sympathize. But not everyone is like that. Just send a quick message asking to chat (or better yet, find time on my calendar if it’s for work), and then I can prepare what I know on the subject, review it, and get back to you.
Otherwise you’re going to get an ear full of ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm
uhhhhh hmm
hang on, I was just
hang on, just loooking that upp…
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Right, so
(silence while I’m reading)
Right, uh, so
Okay
It was last Tuesday
Was that it?
In a world where async communication is effortless, demanding immediate attention is antisocial.
You’re saying that you don’t care what I’m doing at the moment. You want my full attention immediately. Even leaving a message is more of a time waste than a simple text message
- don’t call unless it’s urgent
- if you’re calling me it’s not urgent
This doesn’t apply to landlines, ofc
Strong disagree. A phone call isn’t a demand, and doesn’t mean that you don’t care what the other person is doing. It’s a request to talk to them, and can always be declined. Some things are more quickly and easily sorted out by phone call than text.
Add, some things are time sensitive; which means yes, I do need your attention immediately
I guess that can be true because my phone is usually on silent, but a message would still be preferable because a missed call in my notifications doesn’t tell me much of anything.
I would also put forward that a request to talk could also take the form of a request to talk, like hey are you free to talk about my part in the xyz project?
PS. I would ask the people who you call if they would prefer a text first. It could be you’re calling people who are like you, but it’s also possible that you’re calling people like me, and they’re too polite to tell you.
For me, it’s autism.
Because the more serious discussion the more time I want to have to be able to convey myself concisely and prepared. Phone calls can be awkward and reactionary. plus how the fuck have we not yet solved phone audio quality and consistency problems.
how the fuck have we not yet solved phone audio quality and consistency problems.
Blame apple
I always do.
But also why specifically? I love any opportunity I get to talk shit about their anticonsumer practices and this shit is right up my alley, what are they blocking now?
