Just about everyone looks better when they smile. It’s true regardless of gender. I don’t see where sexism enters the equation.
I feel pretty oblivious. What am I missing?
Why is how good a woman looks to you more important than her own feelings?
Why are you turning this into a personal attack? Asking women to smile is not something I do.
Just about everyone looks better when they smile.
You’re the one who brought looks into it.
The problem lies in wanting women to look better in the first place.
Not an issue for men?
Not as much as “needing to toughen up”.
Oof “pretend your feelings don’t exist” is not a good idea. But yep, just like “man up” it’s horrid advice.
- Context matters. That question is rarely asked by anyone that isn’t a douchebag trying to hit on a woman.
- From my understanding, even when NOT in the context of douchebaggery, it’s a condescending thing to say to a woman. So much of society wants to put women in a box where they’re expected to look pretty, smile more, talk less, and listen to big strong men with their big manly brains. Being told to “smile more” is pretty triggering for some (but maybe not all) women who are tired of dealing with that shit.
Disclaimer: am man, as my username implies.
Men are not asked that, men were mostly not in customer service jobs that needed to look nice. Men were not attacked for leading men along by smiling at them, after they were told to do so.
This was posted 4 times, you may want to remove the duplicates.
I would agree that people look better when they smile, but I think that it is considered sexist because women are asked to smile where men are not, in similar situations. I believe that women feel it is controlling, and since it’s requested/required of women more often then men, their perspective is that it is sexist.
Would you feel okay with a woman asking you to flex? I would, but if it became something that happened on a regular basis, I think it would quickly become annoying to me.
I just removed the dupes, thanks. Fedia was being glitchy.
Plus, you explained your answer well.
I’ve never been the sort of person to ask or insist anyone to display a particular expression. But…
At times I’ve encountered friends, both male and female, that were struggling in life and crying.
Sometimes I would smile at them and say “Hey, you’re leaking again”
I almost always got them to lift their spirits and smile, with a bit of a lighthearted chuckle even.
Though not a moment I’d take a photo of, out of respect, it still reminds me how easy it can be to get a friend to smile.
It’s not sexist, it’s threatening.
While you may mean well, the vast majority of times a woman is complemented by an acquaintance or stranger, it’s because that person is trying to hit on the woman.
You might think “shouldn’t that be flattering?” No, it really isn’t. Every single woman I know has countless stories about how they have been harassed by desperate men trying to get into their pants. If you could barely walk into a public place without random strangers harassing you, you’d be soured on the idea too. To further compound the problem, men are on average bigger, stronger, and more aggressive than women.
So as an example, I was out with my girlfriend once, walking down a crowded street. There was a group of people we had to walk around so we went single file. In less than 30 seconds, she already had some shitty man cat calling her with loaded compliments. I shoved some people aside to make sure I was standing next to her again and he shut up immediately. This is just a fact of life for most women.
Men may not understand this because they only very rarely receive random compliments, but it hits very different as a woman.
There is an appropriate time to compliment women, and it’s after you have already built up a trusting friendship. Besides, a compliment means more coming from a friend than a stranger.
I constantly have to remind myself that I can be perceived as “threatening”, because I’m typically not threatening at all. Having some empathy is a good start, but there’s so much I don’t know about what women deal with on a daily basis.
“dangerous by default” because you are a man and just as disposable; ain’t the patriarchy swell?
I don’t know if it’s sexist but it sure as hell is annoying. Don’t tell people to smile if you don’t have a very good reason.
Because it’s sexist to ask me to look better for you
apparently everything. Why do women need to “look better”?
I initially didn’t understand the context of the question as I assumed you meant when taking a photo.
Fuck the downvotes. This is no stupid questions!
Its considered rude towards women. Because a lot of men just say it to women to look more attractive or to just looke more nice as if women bare the responsibility to be nice to men or always be attractive otherwise they wont be considered women at all. I think it became like because many men just say it a lot (or many boomers dont know).
Context matters:
Taking a group photo? Stock photo models? PR? Greeter? - yes, asking someone to smile for a goal is fine
Someone just minding their own business - no, asking them to smile is selfish and just for your personal satisfaction. People don’t need to justify to you why they don’t feel like smiling. It’s rude to demand it of others
Greeter? you think the people at walmart want to be there? 60+ and the best job they find is minimum wage and standing on their feet all day getting ignored by people mostly so other employees don’t walk out the front with loot?
I don’t think it’s sexist. It’s just rude, no matter who you’re asking. I’d equate it to someone asking me to dress differently as if it’s my job to please them.
I taught my dog to smile. "Smile pretty"and she would bare her fangs for a treat
