E: Da Rules
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The teleportation can only be used to move you.
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Your clothes and basic personal items (the things you take with you everytime you leave the house) will teleport with you, but nothing else.
The International Space Station. The sheer confusion value would be amazing, particularly if I stayed quiet about how it happened (“I went to bed, then woke up floating here. I’ve no clue how it happened”).
I would get to cause a major incident of complete chaos, with little to no harm. I would get to experience space and weightlessness. I would also get a near guaranteed lift home (eventually). There’s also almost no way it could be kept quiet, so I get to be a minor celebrity for a while.
with little to no harm
Not sure how resource allocation works and how quickly you could be sent back to earth but someone may have to be sacrificed.
Compared to telefragging someone on live tv? Also, on the balance, the media coverage would likely help knock loose some more funding for NASA, if only to try and figure out what the f*** happened.
There’s always an excess of resources, just in case of spacecraft failure.
There are actually already extra crew up there from the recent Boeing failure.
SpaceX would definitely benefit from having to come get you, since they’re the only launch company with a good track record, and spare capacity. (Unless you’re Russian, which means you’d probably be shot and stuffed in the garbage section of Soyuz)
SPAAAAAACE!
This has the possible downside of you being dissected for the benefit of science. One human life for the possibility of discovering the ability to teleport? The astronauts/cosmonauts on the ISS would know about you, but you’d never make the news.
Not too bad of a downside. I’d have myself dissected if it meant people I cared about would have a chance at figuring out teleportation.
“Hey some guy just showed up here and no one knows about it.”
“Cool, lets put him out the airlock and see if he freezes like in that movie”
Scientists are not good at keeping secrets, particularly not of this level. Also, the ISS is remarkably public. It would be obvious they were hiding something, at the very least.
Would I expect to spend some time “volunteering” in a research lab, more than likely. I doubt it would get to dissection level. The risk/cost would be low enough that I would take it.
Yeah many of the transmissions to the space station are public. This would go viral before anyone “higher up” could have a chance to squash it.
That’s also before accounting for the various ground scientists who would rapidly become aware through the private channels. Someone appearing on the ISS would leak beyond containment before anyone could think to cut phone communications, let alone implement it.
Is this a one-way trip?
I teleport to friends house, to show her, that world isn’t like we used to think.
This is such an enigmatic response… like something I’d hear in an A24 film
I’d teleport to a parallel universe that has become an utopia full of futuristic medical solutions.
granted. but everybody speaks erbferb atinlerb
People have managed to learn languages odd nothing but signs and gestures…
So, Sweden?
Visit my friend as easy return from japan seem unlikely with one way teleport.
“Mars!”
Freezes and suffocates
But then you’d get to be the first human on Mars. No one could ever take that from you.
Also the first person to die on Mars! :D
Ummm, I have seen the documentary „For all mankind“ on Apple TV and I‘m pretty sure that multiple people died on mars already.
On top of the mars robot ofc!
Better yet, I’m buying an oxygen mask and several layers of winter clothes and going to Titan. Can probably walk around for a few minutes before freezing to death!
Into the studio of some live tv programme, so it’s caught on camera by a neutral party. Without teleportation to get back, there are no really cool or useful places I want to go to in the next 24 hours. So I might as well try to make some cash out of interviews and stuff.
Smart.
I send Elon Musk to Mars.
I’d say a collapsing star would be a better option
The Martians deserve him
That’s 2 teleportations:(
I’m not bringing him back and I’m sure as shit not going with him…
Rule 1
You’re right that would rule.
Telefrag Elon Musk, then. His exact position. Assuming this turns him into a fine red mist and we don’t just have the real-world version of “clipping errors” whereby we are both annihilated or merged in some horrible way.
I think the latter would work too.
For you, maybe, not for me.
:3
Lol this is the first time i thought of telefragging outside of a game and the rare time outside of Unreal Tournament
Well that wasn’t there when I posted. Who’s coming up with these rules to save Phoney Stark?
OP I would presume.
Teleport to my road trip destination. My wife can handle the last two hours herself. I’m too risk adverse to carry out a heist or something and that would really mess up our vacation. I’ll just go ahead and get the hotel room ready and take a shower.
To a place where there are plenty of crumbs.
What… what do you do with the crumbs?
Probably grabs them, like the dirty little crumbgrabber he is.
How did that lawsuit between you and American cartoonist Robert Crumb turn out?
He has bequeathed his fortune to me under extreme duress.
Do I have to use it on myself, or even a living being? Any constraints on size, weight, accessories?
updated the body!
If there’s no return option then I probably wouldn’t use it. Maybe just to get to the shops or something and then walk back.
Without a return trip, that’s pretty useless.
With one, this just becomes a normal “Where would you teleport to?” post 🤷
I need to be at work for the next few days so I would use it to teleport to work instead of taking the train.
I should probably use it to telefrag one of the active, living war criminals or one of their influential lackeys, but it’s kind of hard to choose.
I can think of a couple of good candidates for a telefrag, or a very unexpected high speed kick to the nuts.
