Why are you measuring yourself by the standards of a Hallmark movie?

If you think being successful and having sex with good looking people will make you happy, why is Beniffer getting divorced again? Does Elon Musk seem happy to you?

There is a concept in psychology called “adaptation” where over the long run, people maintain about the same level of satisfaction with their lives. Extraordinary fortunes like becoming paralyzed, or winning the lottery only effect this base-line of satisfaction temporarily.

Eating mangoes while stoned

I’m a little unsure why you think it’s not possible to get help. It almost always is. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

What’s the reasoning for all of those problems?

My mantra for the dark days is “well, it’s not like I care, might as well stick around and see if something interesting happens”.

The things that make me enjoy life, certain people, good books, video games, positive world events, in a way even negative world events, as I am fascinated by humanity and our story, do keep happening.

There can he difficult periods in-between, and during them I just keep reminding myself that ending it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

As for relationships, those are hard. There’s a chicken and egg problem there, where you have to be with people to learn to get people, but to be with people, you kind have to get people. So getting into it can be a huge pain.

It’s also very rewarding. And it is one of the things you can ABSOLUTELY find help with. Not from pickup artists, but just by asking people about it, and having conversations about hypothetical and real situations. Lots of people find the subject of people one of the most interesting there is, and while you’re at it, you’ll be developing your interaction skills.

This guy makes a new account every few weeks because he keeps getting banned. It is terrible to say given his question, but he is an attention whore and doesn’t want help. Best to ignore this.

considers

We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Arabia. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here. We privileged few, who won the lottery of birth against all odds, how dare we whine at our inevitable return to that prior state from which the vast majority have never stirred?

– Richard Dawkins

Dawkins was talking about human dissatisfaction with mortality, but I think that perhaps it puts perspective on life as well.

I’ve been alive as long as I can remember, and everyone I interact with is alive. Familiarity breeds contempt, and it’s perhaps easy, from that perspective, to forget how rare a thing life is.

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It sounds like you are super depressed right now, and I’m sad you’re going through that.

There are a lot of things out there that are worth living for, and some great experiences to be had. But I’ve had severe depression in the past myself… and I’ll be honest, no one could convince me in that moment that life was ever going to be a positive experience again. So I doubt I will be able to convince you right now.

What I do hope you’ll hear right now, is that your own assessment of life can’t be trusted at the moment. Depression is like a feedback loop. It makes us feel hopeless, and prevents us from believing better things are ever possible. I promise you, there is some way to get help. And your depression is going to tell you I’m wrong. Or that if you could find help, there wouldn’t be any thing they could actually do to help. Don’t trust your depression. It makes us lie to ourselves. There’s help to be had, and you’ll never know if it could help if you don’t actually try.

Don’t trust your self right now. Look for help. Tell professional people that you feel suicidal and trust them to help.

You know, someone versed in therapy can often tell what kind of issue is going on by the way they phrase things. You might be clouded by your own local circumstances/experiences. Have you ever tried seeing if a change of setting changes your luck?

As a side note, having a job means nothing. Some people contribute more without jobs than others who have them, especially if only one group does it for free.

There is no point. It’s like asking “What’s the point of having eyes?” There is no point to them, they just exist and can see things. Same with your hands, they just happen to be able to pick up things, but that’s not their “point”.

You exist. But there is no point to it, you just need to figure out what kind of person you are.

There isn’t one.

That is either frightening or freeing, depending on your personal philosophy. 🤷🏻‍♂️

I can think of three reasons, spite, funni, and to make things

Reframe failure as winning.

You haven’t died, so you’ve succeeded in staying alive. That in itself is an achievement. And is generally more than most humans to ever exist can claim. Most died in childhood.

There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin. It’s a state that can change, but there’s no rush or pressure. Engage in activities you find interesting—you’ll meet like-minded people along the way. You may want to reconsider your visual standards or work on your communication skills. Focus on finding people who appreciate you for who you are. Common interests and truly caring about others are attractive traits. (Also, remember, older people are often still sexually active, so losing your virginity is possible even in your later years.) ((As a gay man, I can assure you that everyone is someone’s fetish—no exaggeration. Based on the categories on straight porn sites, the same seems true for heteronormative people.))

Start small. Incremental change over time is more sustainable than trying to make massive, instant changes. Identify the aspects of your life that you don’t like, and work to improve them gradually. Reflect on the wonder of being able to ponder your own existence. Lie in the grass, look up at the sky, and feel your mind wrestle with the idea that you won’t fall up into the sky.

Even if you don’t have a lot of money, there are free things you can do. Turn off your phone, leave your headphones at home, and take a walk on a trail at night. Listen to the sounds of the woods, look at the stars, and feel the breeze.

Nothing inherently matters, and that can be freeing. Since life has no intrinsic meaning, you’re free to assign meaning to the things that matter to you. Take the time you have and focus on what you enjoy.

Even if none of this resonates with you, I hope tomorrow is a better day. And that each tomorrow is better than the last. One thing you can always have is hope. Nothing can kill hope—not a dictator, not a bad date, not the weather, not even the heat death of the universe. Hope lives on. Time marches on. This too shall pass.

Nothing but empathy for you here, bro. Try some drugs. Not the shrink drugs, but some psychedelics. There is some inherent risk with HPPD, but you’re already wanting to opt-out of life, so that could be acceptable. Read up on set and setting, do the prep, find someone experienced that will trip sit. And be prepared to feel overwhelmed, possibly from profound thoughts, and for some very honest introspection and soul searching. Totally okay to sob your heart out. Psychedelics are not a panacea, but they can be a tool to help you out of the local minimum.