I would try to match Genghis Khan up with a proper dad.
I’d go back and convince that art school to accept a certain art student…
I did nazi that one
I’d stop the guy who went back in time to stop the first guy from smoking stuff.
Hey hey, edibles are a thing. Ain’t gotta damage your lungs to get a buzz…
True.
And you could always go back in time to stop me from stopping you from stopping the guy.
That’s why I think time travel will never allow history to be changed, and I think Rick and Morty may have done a bit about that.
Indeed. Even the late Stephen Hawking arranged his own experiment to prove/disprove the possibility.
Apparently it was disproven…
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawking’s_time_traveller_party
Alternatively, Hawking proved that he was unpopular and nobody wanted to go to his party.
Exactly. Maybe Steven Hawking is just really bad at throwing parties!
I think saving JFK would really alter the timeline. I doubt Nixon would have ever been president.
Preventing the Iranian hostage crisis might also have had a huge impact.
Have your read 11/22/63? It’s Stephen King 's take on what would happen if a time traveler tries to stop the JFK assassination.
Great book, in my opinion.
I would try to save the roman republic and prevent the roman kindgom. It would also be interesting to see what would have happend if they never switched to christianity.
The kingdom was before the republic. I assume you want to prevent the empire?
yes ofc you are right
But the Roman Republic (509 BC–27 BC) happened after the Roman Kingdom (753 BC–509 BC).
To prevent the empire would be more complicated than it looks like, since you got multiple rebellions and civil wars popping up as early as 135 BCE. They ultimately boiled down to
- plebeians and/or slaves pissed due to poor living conditions
- local peoples rebelling against Roman oppression
- some patrician family wanting a larger slice of the pie
And those are all problems that are damn hard to address without leading to plebeians being manipulated, local peoples being suppressed, and cutting down the power of the patricians by a central, strong government. That’s basically what Caesar tried to do, and Octavian achieved.
I’d find the first motherfucker that started smoking stuff, whether it was first tobacco or whatever, and get rid of him/her before anyone else ever learned of the practice/habit.
Would have been better health for countless people afterwards, if simply nobody ever knew…
Eliminate tobacco smokers? US Govt. tried, however American Indians are still with us today.
No, eliminate the single individual that originally invented tobacco smoking. Then nobody from that point on would ever know and the problem would have never existed in the first place.
Nip the problem directly at the source ya know. Guess you’re not all that good with these sort of hypothetical time travel thoughts…
Guess not. Colonizer.
Smoking was discovered independently in many cultures with different substances used by different cultures. In the Americas, it was tobacco, while the Scythians of Central Asia used cannabis in ritualistic hotboxes, as evidenced by archaeological finds of smoking tools in kurgans. Other regions, like India and Southeast Asia, saw the smoking of opium and herbs.
Bad idea. Last time someone did this we ended up with this timeline.
The comedy of errors that resulted in World War 1 seems to indicate that there is a group of time travelers trying to make sure this time line happens.
My net worth.
Think of all the good I could do with a trillion dollars. I’d have to create a lot of destruction of other people’s wealth to get there but they will understand. I really need a trillion dollars!
Got to do it in stages so it doesn’t look too premeditated.
Start a online auction site where people can sell their stuff and you get a small cut of the profit.
Then to help people on board start a payment processor company to ensure that the sellers ship their goods and that buyers pay.
Once that has established, go public with it so that your stock sales can support the existence of your current portfolio while you dabble in other things that you know are very profitable.
Once you have that going, which will take a few years. You can take a victory lap or two and maybe pay some PR firms to make you look like the cool rich kid on the internet that everyone wants to hang out with.
Then you can do stuff like starting a spaceship company and helping to bring about the end of the internal combustion engine by starting an electric car company and doing some solar panel stuff.
Eventually you’ll be the richest person on the planet and then you can get to doing the really fun stuff assuming you don’t like tank all of your personal reputation by blowing 20% of your net worth on a microblogging website or something while disavowing your trans daughter.
I mean, if you’re smart enough to do all the other things surely you wouldn’t blow it at the five yard line like that.
I would try to prevent the Holocaust from happening.
I’d add the Spanish Inquisition to that agenda. But who knows, perhaps the Holocaust might not have ever happened if the Spanish Inquisition never happened. 🤷♂️
Time travel thoughts bring up all sorts of hypotheticals…
Might be worth it to sink the Nina the pinta and the Santa Maria Midway across the Atlantic.
If Columbus never made it back to Europe that would have delayed expansionism a good while.
If I could also somehow go to the Americas and provide some interesting artillery to the Eastern coastal tribes that would probably help even more.
There are many ways to stop or deeply alter the Spanish Inquisition, like never getting christianity going, never getting islam going, ensuring the Arabs wipe out all the christian kingdoms of Andalusia, ensuring the Cordoba Caliphate doesn’t disintegrate, doing something to both Isabella I of Castille and Ferdinand II of Aragon so they don’t get into power.
I would go back in time and meet the people who wrote the first ever USB standard. Then I would convince them that all USB connectors have to be reversible from day one so that nobody will ever need to struggle with the 20/80 odds of getting it right on the first try. Come on, it’s two possibilities and the probability of the wrong one is at least 80%. What’s the deal with a connector like that?
While you’re there make damn sure they create a coherent naming scheme that allows upgrade paths/versioning.
Sincerely,
USB 3.2 Gen 1×1
USB 3.2 Gen 2×1
USB 3.2 Gen 1×2
USB 3.2 Gen 2×2I would go back and introduce semantic versioning in the 60s.
Accordingly to the USB inventor, he didn’t make it reversible right off the bat because it would need 2x more wires, circuits, and cost 2x more. So you probably [won’t be | weren’t]* able to convince him.
Perhaps a better approach is to tell him that they should be clearly asymmetric, to both touch and sight. Like HDMI connectors are.
*tense marking is fun in time travel.
*tense marking is fun in time travel.
One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem in becoming your own father or mother that a broad-minded and well-adjusted family can’t cope with. There is no problem with changing the course of history—the course of history does not change because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were supposed to change and it all sorts itself out in the end.
The major problem is simply one of grammar, and the main work to consult in this matter is Dr. Dan Streetmentioner’s Time Traveler’s Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations. It will tell you, for instance, how to describe something that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days in order to avoid it. The event will be descibed differently according to whether you are talking about it from the standpoint of your own natural time, from a time in the further future, or a time in the further past and is futher complicated by the possibility of conducting conversations while you are actually traveling from one time to another with the intention of becoming your own mother or father.
Most readers get as far as the Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up; and in fact in later aditions of the book all pages beyond this point have been left blank to save on printing costs.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy skips lightly over this tangle of academic abstraction, pausing only to note that the term “Future Perfect” has been abandoned since it was discovered not to be.
This is the sort of thing that I love reading on the internet.
From a conlanger perspective I feel like the time reference could be split into four, to account time travel. For example: let’s say that both of us travelled to 3100, I remained there and you came back to 2024. Then you write me a letter, that I’m going to read as soon as we arrive in 3100, telling me about your experiences. You could use:
- your current date as reference - 3100 comes after 2024, so it’s future
- your personal experiences - you already experienced it, so it’s past
- my current date as reference - as I’m in 3100, it’s present
- my personal experiences - as I’m watching you experience it, it’s present
Any given language could pick any of those references to model their tense around, or many of them, or even none (plenty languages IRL lack grammatical tense). If only doing things from the PoV of the speaker (you), that means 6~9 tenses for what most languages have 2 (past and non-past) or 3 (past, present, future).
This is the sort of thing that I love reading on the internet.
Sorry to disappoint you, but most of that text is found offline — as it’s an excerpt from Douglas Adam’s “The Restaurant at the End of the Universe” (sequel to “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”). I probably should’ve attributed it.
If only doing things from the PoV of the speaker (you), that means 6~9 tenses for what most languages have 2 (past and non-past) or 3 (past, present, future).
And then you’d have to account who knows what, which version of a person you’re talking to. Say you’re having a conversation with someone before traveling in time to a time in which they’ve not timetraveled, so it’s either their subjective past or future, but then you continue the conversation, so you’d have to account for both the speakers perspective and the person being spoken to, who would then be subject to two different tense “totalities” since the conversation with them would have been taking place in two different times at the same time.
I seriously suggest reading Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett for that sort of thing. I used to use Pratchett books as a substitute for weed when I was a bit over twenty.
You don’t need double the wires if you change the recepticle so that you can plug it in both ways, and the recepticle would just have those wires connected on the board.
Shine rhrough holes going upwards? That’s working at least often when it’s on a panel…
Paging Dr. Streetmentioner
You can even make the connector look like a B with a larger loop on one side, that when people were like why is it shaped like that you could just say that’s the b in the USB
This guy drives the bus!
Go back to 1911 and convince Taft to concede the Republican nomination to Roosevelt. That allows Roosevelt to stomp Wilson, get the US into the war before Russia left, and get the war over with years earlier.
This prevents both Stalin and Hitler from rising to power, and prevents most of the European theater of WW2, as well as a host of other knock-on effects.
In this scenario Lenin does not manage to take over Russia and the warning to the world by the real life examples of Germany and Italy about the dangers of fashism does not happen either. Authoritarianism raises its ugly head later in a world with better weapons and more destructive potential for humanity.
Would that prevent the space race?
I doubt it. The Russians are still gonna want to try to beat the US at anything they can, and prove themselves on the global stage, but it may have been a cooperative venture, instead of competitive.
Interesting take.
Well that first guy smoking stuff will have enough to deal with so probably something else.
i would find the first guy that started smoking stuff and congratulate them for inventing fire
I’d like to say something noble like warn Amelia Earhart, or hookup Adolph with some Bob Ross videos. But if I’m being honest, I would probably be selfish. I would tell past me to not fuck up quite a few things that past me royally fucked up.
Save the gorilla, save the world
I’ve a tattoo based on that show
Nissan Versa?
Save the cheerleader, save the world. It was a quote from a show
The Nissan Versa was also a reference to the show. There’s an episode where Hiro makes a huge deal out of using a Nissan Versa to drive around America,. It was over the top product placement.
I can’t say I recall that part, but I definitely have a terrible eye for cars. Is that around the time he meets the girl with perfect memory? Or is it later in the series?
It’s when Hiro first arrives in America, he’s very excited to rent the Versa, and says Nissan Versa like 3 or 4 times in a row, and it was an absolutely ridiculous instance of blatent advertising. The scene on YouTube.
OMG I forgot how cute hiro is as a character! He’s so enthusiastic and adorable
Haha okay I remember that now, they were going after double personality woman (am bad with names)
