Bonus points if someone warned you and you went ahead anyway.

  • Lvxferre@mander.xyz
    0·
    3 months ago

    Relationships aren’t like goulash. They don’t reheat well. What caused the first breakup will likely cause another.

    • I'm back on my BS 🤪@lemmy.autism.placeEnglish
      0·
      3 months ago

      They also don’t give a shit if you’re truly innocent or guilty. They just want the case to be as easy as possible while also establishing their effectiveness so they can join a wealthy private law firm.

      • tal@lemmy.todayEnglish
        0·
        3 months ago

        They also don’t give a shit if you’re truly innocent or guilty.

        I mean, a lawyer shouldn’t, public defender or no. Their job is to argue a case, not to be the judge.

        • bizarroland@fedia.io
          0·
          3 months ago

          And public defenders are human beings as well, if you can make yourself a human being to them and not just a task they have to complete in order to get a paycheck then you stand a much better chance of getting high quality representation.

  • avguser@lemmy.world
    0·
    3 months ago

    Never stick your dick in crazy. The sex is great but it’s absolutely not worth the drama. That being said … it was a fun lesson to learn!

  • simple@lemm.ee
    0·
    3 months ago

    Obviously this depends on where you live and what job you want, but I learned that getting a job is less about “having skills” and more about marketing yourself. Optimizing your CV. Bragging about your work on LinkedIn. Writing a cover letter with the key words they’re looking for.

    It’s all very stupid, but it matters a lot to companies.

    • I'm back on my BS 🤪@lemmy.autism.placeEnglish
      0·
      3 months ago

      Also, knowing the right people. Of all my positions, only two did I get by being the best unknown applicant. One was a job setting up private care medical services for the VA. The other was a research assistant position in my Master’s program^1 . All the rest were by people that knew me, so they recruited me specifically. Of course I had to be a good performer to be recruited, but they still knew me before applying.

      1: While it wasn’t stated, I think that I got the position in part because they were interested in hiring a gay man for diversity purposes. This was in the 2000s, and the writing sample I submitted with my application was a sociology term paper arguing for LGBTQ rights, so they assumed I was gay. I still had to have an extraordinary application to be considered, but the likely chose me from among the top applicants for my supposed gayness. The thing is that I’m not gay or bi, so I kind of felt bad about it once I started thinking that’s why they recruited me 😕

      • Passerby6497@lemmy.worldEnglish
        0·
        3 months ago

        Thinking about my career, I think you’re right. Of the industry jobs I’ve had, only 1 of them I got without knowing someone in the company or being referred to the company by a mutual 3rd party.

        Ironically, the job I got on my own is the best paying by far.

  • Drunemeton@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    3 months ago

    Before you share unasked for information with someone consider these two points:

    1. Is this a teachable moment?
    2. Does this person want to be taught?

    If the answer is No to either one or both, keep to yourself.

    In related news: Sometimes people want to vent, sometimes they want solutions. If you don’t know which one is needed it’s okay to ask!

    • yeehaw@lemmy.ca
      0·
      3 months ago

      Regarding the venting sometimes people don’t want a solution they just want to vent.

    • Lvxferre@mander.xyz
      0·
      3 months ago

      That’s sensible advice - often, sharing the info sounds like “I assume that you’re an ignorant, so let me enlighten you little thing”. And/or fails to take into account relevant, but unmentioned details.

      However, when discussing in public (like here), and in more general grounds, there’s a complicating factor - the audience. Often what you say might not be useful to the person whom you’re replying to, but it might still be for someone else.

  • tal@lemmy.todayEnglish
    0·
    3 months ago

    On Linux, about twenty-five years back, on stock Red Hat Linux (and, I suspect, all Linux distributions) the bash shell used to match .* against both . – the current directory – and .. – the parent directory.

    This means that if you ran rm -rf .*, in a directory, you’d delete all the files starting with a “.” – “hidden” files in the current directory. You’d also start recursively-deleting the contents of the parent directory.

    This led to all kinds of excitement if, in a directory in your home directory, you’d try deleting all dotfiles. The rm command would also attempt to wipe out all of the contents of your home directory – all of your files. And this isn’t a system where there’s some “undo delete” option, unless you had a backup system in place (which is a good idea, but wasn’t something set up by default).

    These days, bash doesn’t do that.

  • ransomwarelettuce@lemmy.world
    0·
    3 months ago

    Haven’t learned yet, and still struggling with it but if someone asks if you are OK, don’t go for the default awnser, if anything say idk.

    That and asking for help, I been in the bottom of the barrel one too many times just because I din’t ask for a hand early on.

    • owenfromcanada@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      0·
      3 months ago

      I have a similar struggle reaching out. One trick I learned was to ask myself: if the positions were reversed, would I be annoyed or put off if this other person were reaching out to me?

  • Weirdfish@lemmy.world
    0·
    3 months ago

    If you don’t feel it, don’t do it. Some injuries don’t heal right, and many of the hobbies I enjoy have a pretty damned high risk factor. Almost every single time I’ve had a serious injury, that little voice was telling me “This one might not end well”, and I went for it anyway.

    I could have walked away, called it a day, and come back another time. It wasn’t a contest, I was just out filming a few tricks for my “You’re turning 40 and still doing it” video. Didn’t stretch, didn’t warm up, and my over enthusiastic filmer was all “Try this, do that”. Ended up collapsing my knee and fully tearing my MCL.

    Between that and a few neck and back fractures over the years, my mobility and flexibility are pretty well shot. There are things I just can’t do anymore.

    Sure I still skate, and am amazed just how much I can still get away with, but now every minute on the board includes a constant “Is this safe? Is this worth it?” chant.

    • tal@lemmy.todayEnglish
      0·
      3 months ago

      This doesn’t solve all problems and wouldn’t have helped at all there. And I know that lots of people don’t like them. But after watching too many YouTube videos of skating tricks in concrete environments going very badly wrong, I’m convinced that having a helmet on while skating is something people should do. You don’t have pads or something, you mess up, grind off some skin, at least you’ll heal. But you land wrong on your head, that doesn’t always heal.

      I don’t skate, but I always wear a helmet on a bike. I haven’t had to learn this one the hard way, but I’ve had a bunch of friends who biked a lot. One was a bike messenger, biked all the time, knew his way around a bike, worked in heavy traffic. Then, late one night, someone decided to blow through a stoplight, did a hit-and-run on him. He got really lucky – his dad happened to be out late, found him dying in the empty street. He almost didn’t make it, suffered permanent brain damage, lost memory and stuff. After that, he always wore a helmet. His biking buddy, who previously never wore a helmet, had a huge head of curly hair blowing in the wind, always wore one after that too.

      • Weirdfish@lemmy.world
        0·
        3 months ago

        I just don’t fall that way on a skateboard, so I never wear one, though knee pads are a must.

        I will never ever ride a snowboard without a helmet. I’ll ride a motorcycle without a helmet before I’ll ride a snowboard without one.

  • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
    0·
    3 months ago

    Don’t get addicted.

    And you’ll never feel like an addict right up until the point where you are.

  • Scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.techEnglish
    0·
    3 months ago

    You can’t convince someone to love you. It either is there or it’s not. They either like you or they don’t. It doesn’t matter how much you work it or angle yourself it’s not there, and you need to move on.

    Movies will convince you that you just need to try another way, be romantic. They’re wrong. It makes you come off as desperate and weird. In real life you can tell them you have feelings, but a no is a no, and it means move on.

    • bizarroland@fedia.io
      0·
      3 months ago

      The thing I’m learning is that if someone falls in love with you while you’re trying your hardest to be lovable, they may not continue to love you when you start to get comfortable and be yourself.

      Don’t put energy into a relationship that you cannot sustain or the relationship will fizzle out as soon as you do.

      When you go all out, make sure that they are aware on some level that you are going all out and this is a special occasion and not the mandatory minimum.

      And if you find yourself putting unsustainable energy into a relationship, that is a gigantic red flag that you yourself need to pay attention to. If the fire won’t stay lit unless you keep pouring gas on it, the fire needs to go out.

  • CaptainKickass@lemmy.world
    0·
    3 months ago

    Everything?

    Unfortunately, no one seems to learn from other people’s mistakes, only their own.

    I’ve had to make so many mistakes…

    • owenfromcanada@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      0·
      3 months ago

      I learned plenty of things watching my older siblings and seeing how they did things. I still make tons of mistakes, just different ones.