Hmmmm 🤔

This old egg certainly has new tricks 😉

  • Lupec@lemm.ee
    0·
    3 months ago

    Lol reminds me of how I’d reach for oddly specific, totally unprompted denials pretty often.

    “Man, having a ponytail is actually so nice, I love it. Not in, like, a trans way or anything though haha”

    • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.worldOP
      0·
      3 months ago

      “Wow, this person became healthier, happier, and more capable after transitioning. Too bad that won’t happen for me.”

      Tbf, I had few reasons to think I would prefer being a girl so much. I just hadn’t considered it as an option, so I needed to view it as one first. Needless to say, I found few reasons to be anything else, which also took a long time to accept.

      • Lupec@lemm.ee
        0·
        3 months ago

        Hah, I relate there. My flavor of the trans experience is kinda just growing up apathetic towards playing the social role expected of me or just existing in general tbh while also thinking being a woman must be so cool and interesting and legit dreaming about being one all the while plugging my ears and chanting “still cis tho” lol

        • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.worldOP
          0·
          3 months ago

          I didn’t even have the stage of thinking it’d be cool to be a woman. I was just drawn to feminine stuff until being told I shouldn’t. I’d instinctually find it interesting, but I rarely had a conscious understanding. I barely had to deny because there was rarely anything to deny. The “still cis tho” stage didn’t hit till I was 18.

    • OldEggNewTricks@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      0·
      3 months ago

      Ouch! That reminds me of one of the episodes which led to my egg cracking…

      Scene: me, out drinking with some friends who just happen to all be women (no hint there, obviously). Fairly well-oiled at this point.

      Me: Since everyone else is a girl, maybe I should just become one too, ha ha!
      Fren (surprised): Where did that come from? Are you transgender? That’s cool if you are, I’m bi by the way.
      Me: Ha ha no, only joking, just felt like the odd one out that’s all, let’s change the subject right now…
      Me (to self): fuck fuck fuck where did that come from, I mean I do want to be a girl, but cis people don’t say that kind of thing, dumbass

      Get home; wake up with hangover and gender crisis.

      • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.worldOP
        0·
        3 months ago

        I didn’t have any breakthrough moments when I started questioning, but I did when I realized girl was right for me. I imagined life as a mom, and the years of questioning fell into place. I never wanted to be a man. Even when I want to be more masculine, it’s still as a masculine woman, not an enby or a man.

        I also want kids, an even sadder realization after telling myself I shouldn’t bring any into this world. I just want to be a mom. I didn’t choose to want it, but that’s life 🤷‍♀️

      • Lupec@lemm.ee
        0·
        3 months ago

        Damn, that’s intense! It does feel oddly familiar haha. I was on self-imposed copium for most of my life so my internal monologue would happily have added “Still cis tho!” to the end there 😅