For what? Being a femcel?

Even monoliths are carved by the elements into the dust from whence they came.

I thought that because I didn’t have a clue that I wanted to be a girl, I couldn’t be trans. Turns out I had more signs than a protest buried in my past.

It’s not about learning lessons. There’s no grand narrative to life other than what we come up with.

From your posts, it’s become clear that I can’t convince you to not hate yourself. Only you can decide to self love, not anyone else. You absolutely will not get better until you recognize how loveable you are.

There wouldn’t be a lesson for anyone in your death, just tragedy and pain. We’ll always be here for you, but that will not matter unless you’re there for yourself.

I’d suggest starting a full dose as soon as possible for a couple of reasons.

First, people who know you are actually less likely to notice changes than strangers. So long as you’re not super close to them anymore, they might not notice that you pass as a girl if you aren’t being overtly feminine. Even if you stop being able to pass as male to the world, you might still pass to your parents.

Second, there really isn’t much benefit to being at a lower dose, as our body prefers to be dominated by one sex hormone or the other. We’re a bit less healthy at lower e in an e dominant system, or lower t in a t dominant system. There is wiggle room, but at the cost of numerous systems that function best in either sweet spot.

That said, e regiments start off at a tentative dose anyways, as that’s both safer for most meds, and how natural puberty begins. There are even arguments that starting lower has better results, but that science isn’t as settled.

You’re probably fine with starting out as is typical, especially since you’re moving away in a few months anyways. Even if you see rapid progress, you’ll probably be able to cover for the effects, especially in winter clothing. It also takes time to find a supplier or a doctor, whether you do DIY or informed consent. You’ll stop hair loss so long as you have proper testosterone suppression, and for that, you want to act quickly.

It didn’t solve all my problems, but it made all of them solvable. It actually did fully solve some problems. At the very least, it helped with everything a little bit.

The day I get drafted is the day I go underground.

I will say that voice training definitely pays off, especially if you dress androgynous. About a month into using a fem voice full time, I tried to boymode while traveling, but totally failed. Even though I wasn’t on e, hadn’t shaved, and wore baggy casual clothes, I was seen as a woman.

A big part is that I couldn’t get myself to use a masc voice. It had become automatic. I would start sentences in a fem voice and then struggle to make it masc as I talked. It also didn’t help that I felt terrible while trying to do the masc voice. My hair and voice just made me seem like a tomboy.

We are bad judges of how we are perceived, as we have preconceptions that override reality. The people who knew you before are actually less likely to update the gender they see you as without being told to. Strangers will see you as a woman, while your neighbor might not have a clue if they never see you in a dress. I’d recommend finding situations where no one knows you, but you’d be relatively safe. You might eventually learn that you cannot pass as male anymore.

For me, I just feel more comfortable existing in the world as a woman. There’s no logic behind it; it just is. I feel depressed when I feel like a man in any situation, but I didn’t know that for most of my life. I just thought being miserable was normal. I didn’t even think I would want to be a girl until I was an adult. I had to experiment to figure that out.

I liked myself as a woman in sexual situations, but it turned out that I wanted to be a woman in all situations. As terrifying as upending my sense of self was, I’m finally happy.

Like I said, there is literally nothing wrong with having a fem kink. Kinks have been incorrectly demonized by science due to cultural biases against sexuality. Unless it hurts you or someone else, there’s nothing pathological about it. It also doesn’t mean you have to commit to a gender that isn’t right for you. Do what makes you happy! ❤

Would you want to be a girl in nonsexual situations? When driving to work or sitting alone, would it still be fun to be feminine? You can definitely live as a man and have sex as woman, but would you be disappointed if that’s all it is?

“It just can’t be so simple; Transitioning can’t just solve my problems!”

it was and it did

The only advice I can give is to look for support in your country. They’ll know what can and can’t be done. If you ever get the point of not being able to carry on, transition should be your only priority. At that point, you’d have nothing to lose.

You want headpats? Come here! 🤗

Affirming my gender is necessary for me to have the energy to get out of bed. I was literally nonfunctional before I came out. Starting and staying on e has been the driving force in my life for the past year. Why fight for myself if I hate who I am?

Estrogen does so many things to almost every part of your body! It even improves liver functioning in a wide variety of animals, from livestock like chickens to humans of all sexes and genders. It makes you significantly healthier until menopause, where evolution effectively removes the advantages it provides. The same is probably true for testosterone lowering in males with age, as nature wants to take us out of the gene pool once we’ve served our purpose.

gives headpats ;3

No idea. I didn’t make the meme, but my guess is it’s a reference to a sliver of time in r/egg_irl’s history where every other post was Re:Zero themed.

You’re here now, and that’s pretty awesome!

My ADHD got better after e, but I also needed to lower the dosage. If the dosage was too high, taking meds had an opposite effect.

E valerate isn’t really the best for 2 week cycles(even 10 days would be pushing it). I’m fairly happy rn on 5 mg weekly, but that’s also with androgen suppression. For monotherapy, 5 every 5 days or 10 mg weekly would probably be enough. The only problem you’ll have in switching to 10 mg weekly is just that you’ll run out of needles/syringes faster, so I’d do that asap.

Petition your doctor to officially do 10 mg weekly since they were fine with 20 biweekly, or 7.5 if they have concerns. Try looking at the possibility of finding a safe supply of needles and syringes diy, or if you can get that prescription refilled early. Also, don’t forget to cycle injection spots!