Don’t let them bully you into anything.

It’s your body. You decide what happens to it.

Don’t let them force you into circumcision, baptism, any of that shit because they want it. You are in control here. They can fuck off.

Parenthood means that your life is no longer your own.

Everything you eat and do for the next nine months matters, and then the real work starts.

Because it hurts to be accused of something unfairly, even if it’s just an implication.

It will help if you try to make it a choice. In a way, this is something that will protect your child - the tiniest sliver of doubt could taint your child’s relationship with their father. And that seed has already been planted

Even if they back down, I think you should insist on it.

Honest people don’t tell you they’re honest, they show. If you want, you could politely insist they read the test results themselves, to make sure there’s absolutely no doubt that would taint their relationship with their grandchild

It would turn this around on them, it’s the third path solution. They’re going to try to brush over the unpleasantness when the results come in, if you make them linger on it for just a moment they’ll feel shame without hurting the relationship

If you do that or not should probably depend on how supportive they are during the pregnancy, but I’d personally like having that option in my back pocket

Anecdote: One of my friends from high school got his girlfriend pregnant. He and his family wanted to abort, her (very controlling family) were strict Catholics and wanted to keep it. He became a father at 18.

He was a wicked smart kid, and was about to go to a top Uni, but had to change to match his girlfriends Uni so that they could raise the kid together. He found it very difficult to juggle his studies with his parenting, and ultimately the relationship fell apart since he never really loved the girl as much as he thought he did. He dropped out, and now works as a waiter.

I can definitely understand your boyfriends parents wanting to be double sure of the immense responsibility coming his way. You guys are way too young to do this alone, and I really hope you both have good parental support to step in as you try to find your career paths in your 20s.

I do unterstand your feelings, the question implies that you Were involved with someone else than your boyfriend and its not nice to think about that in your situation especially since hormons make us more emotional during pregnancy (at least me).

As most people stated here already it is however a valid concern of your boyfriends parents. Cheating is very common, more common than I would have thought at 18! Doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.

Anyways I wanted to add a different perspective. The one of your child. If you don’t do the test, but your bf family has a tiny bit of doubt it might be that at some point in your child’s life it might hear about that doubt / just suspect it from behavior. And that can do unbelievable harm to a child. So its better to have that proof and then everyone can be happy about the new family member.

Because there’s too many stories about the current guy just raising a kid that wasn’t his.

Sorry.

Sadly i know very many stories were the girl lied who father is. Sometimes malicious, just knows real father/father family is bad news, sometimes like on Murray doesn’t know and picked one. Male side can never be certain and no one wants hidden reservations lingering. This destroyes marriages. Also, even if you said no They’ll just get it done in secret after baby is born to put concerns to rest.

This is not a reflection on you as a person in fact take this as an opportunity to show how confident you are in the truth and be amicable but have them pay directly the test. Keep in mind they probably will be a factor in your life moving forward so choose words/actions carefully. think of it like a certification to get everyone on the same page to support you.

My mom went through the same thing at 17 best of luck on the road ahead.

As others have said, it’s a pretty reasonable request by his parents, they need to protect their kid. Doesn’t mean it can’t feel humiliating.

On the positive side, you avoided decades of little remarks (definitely meant as jokes) about how he might not be the father from his parents.

Also, if you ever need to go to court, you already have proof it’s truly his kid.

So, I’m not saying it doesn’t suck and doesn’t feel humiliating, just trying to provide a few positive things to try focusing on.

It shouldn’t be insulting

When I was in my early twenties, I thought paternity tests were something reasonable that maybe everyone should do, just to avoid possible problems in some cases.

I have to tell you, now I have kids and did no paternity tests. My wife and I love each other immensely, we wanted kids, we tried until we got them. It would be insulting to suggest a paternity test.

It is. And good protection on their part. Kids cost a lot of time and money. you will both have a hard time going to college which is almost required for a good life now. It isn’t impossible, but life will be very different for you both. there is help for young families, so things are not hopeless for you, but time other kids your age spend partying is time you will spend either raising the kid or studying - because raising the kid happened when the others were studying. Assuming you go to college - many will not and and that costs your future-

If he isn’t the father - and plenty of girls have lied about this - then he gets a much better life since he doesn’t have responsibility forced on him. Thus good protection on their part.

its because they dont want to end up taking care of the child, when they have a 18son who knocked you up already have to take care of. they dont want to take care of thier son’s mistake. because they know the son is probably not going to take care of it, he doesnt have career, because 18, or self-sufficient, so the caretaking automatically goes to the parents of the bf.

If you empathise with the other side of the equation, it feels… understandable, right? And that might mute the negative feelings a bit. I mean, you know you’re your child’s mother while the dad just had to take it on trust up until recently, so wouldn’t you also want to be sure if you can, especially if you’re more on the anxious, “worst case scenario is the more plausible scenario!” side? It might have less to do with you and more to do with people’s inner fears, right?

(50+ years old married dude speaking from France, just so you know)

I don’t know if this can help you feel better about that test but if I was your boyfriend’s father I can assure it would not be about you specifically. Not at all. I mean, as much I can observe what’s going on with young (and with not so young) people around us and even more so on social media, there is a lot of… let’s just say there is a lot of lying everywhere (and no, I’m not blaming girls specifically as it takes two people to make love). So, just to be 100% sure, I would suggest my boy to have that test done it would not matter how much I may already appreciate you as a person and as his girlfriend, there is just too much at stake. I would suggest him to have that test done but I would also respect his decision to ask for it or to not to ask for it.

Wishing you the best, if doesn’t sound too bizarre coming from a complete stranger ;)

My wife and I are getting a paternity and maternity test on our kid, we enquired about it but in utero it’s dangerous.

Not because I don’t trust her and we’re pretty sure she’s the mother but because it is an IVF baby and in Australia there have been a few mix ups over the last few years.