I don’t know about you, but I died of blood clots, cancer, heart disease, myocarditis, and a whole bunch of other things several times over now. Must be the eight COVID vaccines I’ve gotten I guess.
And just don’t ask me about the time I blew up a gas station because my mom called me while I was filling up.
Oh shit I’d completely forgotten about that one.
I mean yeah, at least GSM phones (and I guess CDMA too since the frequency bands are pretty close) did tend to cause funky interference, but the idea that they could somehow cause fuel pumps to go boom was… well, a bit silly.
Pfft, woke cultural Marxist “scientists” controlled BIG GOBERMENT tell you that asbestos causes cancer or that tiny pieces of plastic can make you sick, and you believe them? I’ll snort a rail of asbestos just to trigger the libs.
But seriously speaking though, while yeah that was sarcastic as fuck, that’s essentially the world view behind why conservatives are increasingly detached from reality; anything “the left” (which, like I tend to quip, is apparently everyone left of the Strasserites nowadays) believes in is by default wrong because the left is wrong. The authorities, researchers etc. who say that CO2 emissions are a problem, or that drinking bleach or eating huge doses of dewormer won’t actually cure your COVID – which by the way you simultaneously believe to be a lie perpetrated by Jewish space lizards controlled by Bill Gates – are all “the left”, so those things just can’t be true
How am I supposed to believe that when I died within a year of getting my first COVID vaccine back in 2021 like I was told I would?
I don’t know about you, but everything has been wonderful and perfect since I let the vaccine microchips take over my brain.
It’s been terrible for me. My 5G signal still isn’t great. At least I have WiFi calling.
I don’t know about you, but I died of blood clots, cancer, heart disease, myocarditis, and a whole bunch of other things several times over now. Must be the eight COVID vaccines I’ve gotten I guess.
See, that’s where you’re missing the point. That fact that we all reanimated after death is proof that the vaccines had secret chemicals in them.
Also, the Bill Gates microchips. Don’t forget those. And I’m still magnetic.
This is likely the source of that particular conspiracy.
Watch out for water and sharks, squid dude.
I’m good with water, thanks, but never mind sharks. What I really need to look out for is other squid!
https://www.livescience.com/56211-squid-cannibalism.html
Damn, it’s a squid-eat-squid world
And not in a good way!
But hey, at least your 5G reception is fantastic
Oh great, now you’re reminding me about how my cell phone gave me a brain tumor back in the 90s.
And just don’t ask me about the time I blew up a gas station because my mom called me while I was filling up.
And popping popcorn with our phones. LoL those were the days.
Oh shit I’d completely forgotten about that one.
I mean yeah, at least GSM phones (and I guess CDMA too since the frequency bands are pretty close) did tend to cause funky interference, but the idea that they could somehow cause fuel pumps to go boom was… well, a bit silly.
Yet these people never pick up on things like asbestos or lead or microplastics.
Pfft, woke cultural Marxist “scientists” controlled BIG GOBERMENT tell you that asbestos causes cancer or that tiny pieces of plastic can make you sick, and you believe them? I’ll snort a rail of asbestos just to trigger the libs.
But seriously speaking though, while yeah that was sarcastic as fuck, that’s essentially the world view behind why conservatives are increasingly detached from reality; anything “the left” (which, like I tend to quip, is apparently everyone left of the Strasserites nowadays) believes in is by default wrong because the left is wrong. The authorities, researchers etc. who say that CO2 emissions are a problem, or that drinking bleach or eating huge doses of dewormer won’t actually cure your COVID – which by the way you simultaneously believe to be a lie perpetrated by Jewish space lizards controlled by Bill Gates – are all “the left”, so those things just can’t be true