• plyth@feddit.org
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    15 days ago

    It could be the aging population. If 100% of people 20-40 have sex and 0% of 40-60 then that’s 50% if both groups are equally strong.

    Now if it’s 1/3 and 2/3 then it’s only 33%.

  • alekwithak@lemmy.world
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    17 days ago

    People are stretched as thin as can be and stressed beyond belief. Then during their free time they are inundated by algorithms that are made to keep them scrolling and to feel as many negative emotions as possible. Then their food is full of hormones and their food wrappers and cosmetics and toiletries are all full of phthalates and microplastics and undisclosed hormone disrupting chemicals. All in a progressively protestant society that increasingly isolates us from one another and shames us for our natural urges and feelings and bodies, all in the name of selling us unnatural solutions for these “problems.”

    It’s a mystery though.

    • mienshao@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      It’s not a mystery, it’s social media. This isn’t fucking hard folks.

      Also, this study is by a conservative think tank and is biased as hell. They’re trying to force kids to marry young to have a bunch of children for “god’s army.” These “data” showing declining sex rates gives these conservatives fuel for their crusade. This is all also closely linked to the great replacement theory. None of this information should be taken at face value.

  • ma1w4re@lemmy.zip
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    17 days ago

    No idea. I can just say that at least for me it wasn’t voluntary. 17 through 21 tried dating some people, only one agreed and then made fun of me publically and sent me photos of fucking other dudes. Since then I got depressed really hard and gained a lot of weight and lost a lot of hair, still trying my best to recover and lose weight. I somehow missed that one girl in college that gave me signs that she likes me, and it made me even more depressed, thinking that I lost my only hope. Idk why I wrote this, sorry if you read it, just had something stuck in my throat and needed to type it out.

    • FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      17 days ago

      In life there are an infinite number of connections we’ll miss, the positive is we don’t need to make nearly that many.

      The first step is to work on yourself, but you don’t need to drastically change who you are just learn to love yourself as you are.

      Once you can manage that, it’s a lot easier to find connections.

      • ma1w4re@lemmy.zip
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        17 days ago

        Jee, I nearly choked on my ramen when I read your name 😂😂. Yea, totally agree, thank you

    • Monkey With A Shell@lemmy.socdojo.com
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      17 days ago

      It happens, the ‘did I miss a cue’ can be brutal if it keeps replaying. Only real answer I know is being content with your own self and if someone also happens to fall into that same space all the better. People get so inundated with images of what’s ‘possible’ which a good chunk of it’s enhanced with selective posting and filters, so we get some unrealistic view of what a normal happy life is supposed to be.

      As for the sending pics, shitty people aren’t worth the brain space to stress over, you dodged a bullet there.

      • ma1w4re@lemmy.zip
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        17 days ago

        I just heard in a song something similar to “being content with your own self” and I see your comment, what a nice coincidence. Totally agree, trying to help myself from living in my head where I made an ideal of what should everything be. Came to it only recently, after drinking bit too much and crying a lot. I think I got a piece of my hope back because of that, so it’s easier going forward now.

    • _hovi_@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      Just keep working on yourself friend. Only way things don’t work out in the long run is if you stop trying

      • TheOneAndOnly@lemmy.world
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        16 days ago

        Blues Traveler song I love has a very similar line; “There’s no such thing as a failure who keeps trying. Coasting to the bottom is the only mistake.”. I heard it at a young age, when I absolutely needed to hear it. I have done my best to teach my children and close friends this. You can do it. What “it” is may change in the effort… But if you keep trying, you will never be a failure.

    • bulwark@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      I came to the same conclusion. I don’t doubt that sex is on the decline but whatever data this “Family Studies” collected to graph this is dubious at best. I think I saw a sample size of 2,000, but knowing this has some religious angle, they probably polled at church or something and are only interested in the procreation of the “right” people.

    • mienshao@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      It’s the internet/social media. Not sure why we’re acting like this is a hard one. We are literally replacing real-life interactions with virtual ones—including sex. Wouldn’t be surprised if masturbation rates have drastically increased in that same timeframe.

  • deaf_fish@midwest.social
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    16 days ago

    I find computers endlessly fascinating and they are easier to understand than social interactions. If you took away easier forms of entertainment I would be seeking harder forms of entertainment. Probably also starting a revolution.

    • daannii@lemmy.world
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      16 days ago

      Women are avoiding men. For all sorts of reasons that I think most of you are aware of.

      Women also are feeling like they have the ability to refuse when before they didn’t.

      Women are also scared of pregnancy in a way they haven’t been since the fecking 1900s.

      Because now, you get pregnant. A doctor will let you die before they will provide medical care if that medical care has any chance of harming a fetus. Even if the fetus is dead.

      Women are dying from pregnancy. Women are no longer able to terminate an early pregnancy safely.

      Women are scared.

      • humanspiral@lemmy.ca
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        16 days ago

        trend was before any new abortion bans. You probably cannot consider men avoiding women, but that is likely a larger overall factor.

    • daannii@lemmy.world
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      16 days ago

      That’s some b.s rfk was saying. That’s not the cause. Dysfunction is not the same as low sex drive. It can mean any number of things.

    • turtlesareneat@discuss.online
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      17 days ago

      I’m also going to think the absinence-only education plays a role. I know people in their 20s today who didn’t understand: lube, protection, HIV, pregnancy. Some of them were HIV+ before they knew what happened. People are confused and uneducated. Thanks Christians!

  • callouscomic@lemmy.zip
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    16 days ago
    1. People are more willing to be honest now.
    2. How much of that sex in the past had the same amount of consent?
        • AlpacaChariot@lemmy.world
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          16 days ago

          Things were definitely different to today, but I think the factors you listed are not enough to explain the massive decline in that graph.

          Things like economic insecurity, cost of housing, increasing isolation / changes in living circumstances, and medication are all likely to be significant factors in my opinion.

  • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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    17 days ago

    I have a really high sex drive and I’ve never been in a relationship where I consistently got it often enough to be satisfied so I stopped trying. It also doesn’t help that my living situation is not conducive to bringing people home with me.

    • Ibaudia@lemmy.world
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      16 days ago

      I’ve also never been in a relationship that totally satisfied my sex drive, so I feel this a lot. My fiance used to be very sexual like me, but then she went on antidepressants and that was kinda killed. Now, she’s off then again, but her sex drive never rebounded, even though she thinks I’m more attractive now that I’ve been working out and gained muscle. Just sad to be jerking off in the office or bathroom every day instead of being intimate with someone you love because they don’t want to have sex with you 🫤

      I don’t blame her or anything, it just hurts my soul a bit. Her sex drive is so low now that I feel guilty and anxious even asking, because I know she’ll either reject it outright or just tolerate it if she really wants to make me happy that day, which kills it for me.

      I’d say we only really have sex where we’re both equally enjoying it maybe once every few weeks to once a month. If her drive were the same as mine, that would be once or twice a day. Just a shitty situation for me.

      • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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        16 days ago

        I don’t blame her or anything, it just hurts my soul a bit. Her sex drive is so low now that I feel guilty and anxious even asking, because I know she’ll either reject it outright or just tolerate it if she really wants to make me happy that day, which kills it for me.

        Yeah, I’m single now and intend to stay that way but I don’t blame my exes or hold it against women as a whole. It’s just a fact of life. It has bothered me enough to end relationships over it but it was just about the incompatibility not any malice towards them. I’d much rather just hang out as friends and not have that “is she going to be in the mood or not?” question running in my head the whole time or feeling shitty if I make a move and get shot down, or worry that they’re feeling like I’m trying to pressure them into something. It just creates a bad situation and stresses me out because it’s not like I can just turn it off. I’ve tried jacking off but my shit recovers too fast when I’m around a woman that I like for that to help.

  • paultimate14@lemmy.world
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    17 days ago
    1. My first question about studies like this is always “how do they know this?”. And I while I know I could find the study and dig into the setsils, I don’t have to do that to know that this is the result of surveys taken over this time period. Unless technology develops to grant us a way to monitor and track the sex lives of people objectively and unobtrusively, that’s just the best way can do. So any conclusions drawn really should be “the decline in people’s surveyed frequency of sexual intercourse has gone down over time”. Just to throw out some baseless speculation: could people in the past inflated their answers to appear “cool” or similar? Could there be cultural shifts pressuring respondents to deflate their numbers now? Personally, I’m inclined to believe the results of the study ARE true, but I’m not confident in that.

    2. The decline of 3rd spaces, which is a big concept with multiple causes. Car-centric infrastructure, industrialization, women moving to the workforce, capitalism, technology, etc. It has become harder for people to have intimate personal interactions with others who live nearby. I believe the rise of things like social media, dating apps, and now AI companions is less about “hey we developed this new technology to replace and maybe be better than real human interaction” and more about “we need to develop something to replace what we have lost”.

    3. Consent. Reductions in arranged marriages and child marriages. Protections and rights for women and children.

    4. Economics. Everyone is overworked and tired. I’ve seen this in a lot of the other comments here but I actually don’t buy into this quite as much. There seems to be an inverse relationship between GDP per capita and birth rate, at least recently. Most of Europe, Japan, Australia, the US, Canada, Korea, and perhaps most notably… China. All have experienced declines in birthrates, and in a lot these cases there is good modern data showing the birth rates changing as these economies develop. The countries having the most children are poorer countries.

    Now, it could be that these wealthier countries have access to birth control, so this does not necessarily dissolve economics as a factor. But, my own theory is that sex is one of the cheapest forms of entertainment available to humanity (if you don’t factor in the costs of children). So the citizens of these wealthier countries are spending their time and money doing other things. Not just skii vacations or going yachting, but reading books and watching TV.

    • realitista@piefed.world
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      17 days ago

      But, my own theory is that sex is one of the cheapest forms of entertainment available to humanity (if you don’t factor in the costs of children). So the citizens of these wealthier countries are spending their time and money doing other things. Not just skii vacations or going yachting, but reading books and watching TV.

      Spoken like a man who’s never tried to get laid. Sex is expensive. Dressing nicely, being fit, being financially well off enough to attract a girl in the first place, then entertaining them, taking them out, etc. It’s not easy to pull off if you are poor. Especially when compared to free porn on tap and the stagnation of the middle and lower classes for decades.

      • KaRunChiy@fedia.io
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        17 days ago

        Bro the people I see getting the most pussy are free spirits without an ounce of stability in their lives

      • paultimate14@lemmy.world
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        17 days ago

        It seems you believe the myths that media wants to tell you about modern courtship. Yes, such shallow people exist. And yes, there are thresholds of hygiene and stability someone should be expected to meet. But a lot of women want to get laid just as bad as men, not for the money or the status but for the sex.

          • 5too@lemmy.world
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            17 days ago

            Ever heard about STD rates in nursing homes? There may be a factor that’s correlated with age, but age itself doesn’t stop sex, or even slow it down that much.

            • realitista@piefed.world
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              17 days ago

              I’m not saying people don’t have sex as they get older (though there is ample evidence out there that they tend to have less). I’m saying that women are less likely to put up with a broke ass older man than a young stud. As you get older you become more prized as a breadwinner than you do as just a toy boy.

    • Bruncvik@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      From my personal experience, the 3rd spaces is a huge thing. I’ve met my wife in such a space, and pre-Covid I’ve run a large Meetup group that focused on safe socialization (dinners, cinemas, hiking, art events). I’ve seen countless of hookups and dozens of marriages within that group. Covid pretty much killed Meetup groups on our area, so when we want to socialize all that’s left are pubs and clubs, and there I only see single-gender groups with no overlap. I doubt anyone is getting laid, and even if they do, chances of a meaningful relationship before actually knowing each other’s likes and dislikes, and common interests, are minimal.

      • WoodScientist@lemmy.world
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        17 days ago

        My husband and I met on OKCupid, definitely not a traditional third space. But we met back in 2014, back when the site was still good. It’s algorithm was actually really good back then if you put the effort into actually filling out the quizzes and surveys. But as time has gone on, it seems they have really enshittified. Instead of helping people finding meaningful relationships, they just try to keep people subscribed for as long as possible. And my husband and I met on OKCupid without ever subscribing for anything; we never gave them a dime.

  • LoafedBurrito@lemmy.world
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    15 days ago

    Probably depression, online dating ruining the entire dating world, and the economy sucking.

    I remember growing up, you could go to a bar with friends, meet some people and there was always someone hooking up quickly. Or you grabbed a phone number and you were good for later.

    Now it’s more “are you 6 foot tall?” “do you make six figures?” “what’s your snap or insta?” “are you a racist nazi that will murder me in my sleep?”

    Then they can always say, ehhh, your not attractive enough for me, i’ll go on tinder and DM one of the 60 guys waiting for me. BYEEEEEEEE