The amount of energy spent online about cleaning cast iron skillets blows my mind.

They are just slabs of iron.

Probably a second cast iron skillet

I turn up the heat then throw water. It boils and cleanup with paper towel. Use tongs.

Paper towel. Don’t overthink it.

Umm, a towel?

I’m convinced there’s no right answer to this. Whatever works for you. The internet will never agree no matter what you do. Hell, put it in the dishwasher and (optional) re-apply the seasoning if you want to.

Personally I put it on the stove just to heat it up slightly, and them I rinse it under hot water while scrubbing with a light plastic brush just to get and chunks and gunks out. Once done I put it on the stove to burn/polymerize any leftover grease and add to the seasoning.

Sometimes I use some mild dish soap if I suspect that any flavor might carry over.

My dad sands his silver and just washes it regular

Immediately after you’re done using it: rinse and scrub it like anything else. Let it dry, then apply oil to it.

Cast irons do really poorly if you don’t clean them out immediately but I just use a normal sink scrub brush for cleaning.

I print some of the endless online discussions about cast iron care. The paper, the ink and the opinions make for an excellent mild abrasive that doesn’t permeate the pores or excessively damage the seasoning patina

generally speaking, it shouldn’t be too difficult to get stuff off. I generally use blue scotchbrite scrubbie pads. They’re non-abbrassive and have no metal or cleanser in them; but they’re scratchy while being soft enough.

Other things that gets recommended is “washcloths” made of maille links (for example.)

The next stuff is some generic recommendations that you may or may not find useful (or have already heard.), but they’re key steps in getting that truly nonstick surface… and it starts with how you maintain and cook with it.

Cast iron needs to be maintained- it was the original non-stick pan, mind you, but that nonstick surface needs maintenance. I typically season mine with avacodo oil applied in very light coatings and kept in a 350f oven. it’s best to stay below the smoke point of whatever oil you’re using; so check that and go 50-100 degrees under. The oil is polymerized when it’s no longer tacky; and I tend to apply about a teaspoon at a time using an old microfiber cloth. (Less is best. I place the cloth on the top of the oil bottle and give it a quick flip-and-down. that’s enough. for a full 12" pan, and probably enough for 16" if you have one.)

once its seasoned well, you can maintain it by occasionally putting a light coating of oil after use, cleaning and drying.

Also, it’s important to remember that you need some kind of oil in the pan for it to be truly non-stick. I use avocado oil as my go to; it has no real flavor and it doesn’t smoke like olive oil does. If you want to use butter, you can also get cute and add both avacado and butter and avoid burning the butter that way. It doesn’t take a lot- a tablespoon is frequently enough. for something like bacon, I put a light “seasoning” coat on before cooking- you don’t really want animal fats to season, it’ll burn and turn bitter.

Finally, you want to preheat the pan slow-ish. it’s not an aluminum nonstick; it takes time, let it get up to temp.

Everyone has a different 8 step program to cleaning cast irons. I just scrape the fuck out of it with a chainmail “sponge” and water, maybe some coarse salt or s pinch of soap if it’s nasty. I dry it with a towel. I’ve had mine for yeaaaaars and it looks just fine.

If it needs reasoning, I use that as an excuse to buy a slab of bacon

People are so weird with their cast iron care… I scrub it with hot water, a brush, and maybe some soap depending on how dirty it is. Then I dry it off LIKE A NORMAL PAN and heat a little oil in it again to keep it from rusting. The only thing you need to do different than a normal pan is get some oil on it and heat it up after washing. It’s a ferrous metal so it’ll rust if it isn’t protected.

Edit: for wiping out I just use a paper towel with a little oil on it

I wipe any fat or oil with a paper towel into the trash then I rinse it with soap and water and I have a regular plastic brush I use to wash it then dry it off with a paper towel and heat it up and add some avocado oil then wipe the excess all around

Try boiling semen and pepsi in it.

Wiping out? Like, entirely? Well, personal physical assault isn’t wise, so let’s take that off the table first. I wouldn’t suggest basic firearms, either: they’d likely just dent it or fly off and hurt something else.

Running it over isn’t likely to damage it too badly, and trying to drown it just leads to rust. I think it’d be hard to get an “accidental” fire to have a high-enough heat sustained for a long enough to kill it. Dropping it from a height might bend or dent it.

Honestly, I think your best chance would be some kind of high explosive. Not a dinky thing like a hand grenade - aside from being under-powered, there’s the extra shrapnel to worry about. Maybe some dynamite or C4, with a long enough detcord so you’re not near the explosion. Of course, that’ll likely just launch it upwards a bit, so you’d want to enclose it in something that ensures most of the damage is directed to the pan and not dispersed around the edges.

Maybe ask the police to do a demolition demonstration with their little self-contained units that they blow things up in, would that be feasible? How much do you hate this pan, anyway?