I had a lot of doubts to begin with. Part of what helped me was learning that it’s not useful to think of words like trans as prescriptive, but as descriptive. I started only thinking in terms of benefits and making myself comfortable.

I want to wear different clothes and otherwise present myself differently because I’ve always wanted to? Then I’ll do that.

I tried HRT and I liked the mental and physical effects? Then I’ll continue with HRT.

I have no connection to my name and prefer a female coded name? Then I’ll use a new female coded name.

Etc. etc.

Trans is just a word and the more important part is making yourself happy.

Edit: The word trans is useful because it describes a bunch of the stuff I’m doing, and it makes me happy when I see things that are trans supportive. I think it’s also worth remembering that gender is a spectrum and that being transgender is defined as not identifying with the gender you were assigned at birth/not being cis, and therefore includes a lot of identities and ways of expressing yourself.

No one else gets to go inside your head and tell you how you feel, so it’s only up to you to decide whether or not you are trans. Honestly you can do a bunch of gender non-conforming things and even do all sorts of transitiony things and stuff associated with being trans and then just decide to “not be trans” if you feel like it, even if others might describe you as such. What do they know anyways? Most people haven’t really put their gender identity under the looking glass or even so much as read about the subject.

I have a poem I like to do, but I also do sentences from here when practicing in english

Social contact as a finn? My condolences, hope you can recover 🫂

thankuu <3 I love them all and I want to have them handy for ttrpg stuff

Anyone have the source for the images?

I’m very happy for you! <3

I hate my beard and there are no clinics near me :/ Hopefully I’ll be able to get some sessions at some point

🫂🩵🫂🩷🫂🤍🫂🩷🫂🩵🫂

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I’m sure that explains the cramps, but the pain/discomfort happens within an hour or two after injection and lasts for a couple of days, which is the part that I’m worried about. But they might be connected in some way so taking the advice I’ve been given here seems like the way to go. I’ve bought magnesium, bought some banana smoothies, had some fried creamed spinach with broccoli, and made sure to drink lots. Hopefully there won’t be any issues (or at least milder symptoms) with the next injection. Also gonna go grab some of those electrolyte sports drinks.

Thanks again <3

Edit: Also chocolate contains lots of potassium as well ! Treating myself as we speak

Actually I noticed some rather pronounced veins on my calves after my leg started hurting. For me it was opposite, with walking pretty much immediately removing any discomfort. I’m glad it cleared up for you eventually !

Are the spasms happening in the muscles near the injection site

Calves is the word! The spasms are happening in the calves.

Where exactly in the thigh are you injecting?

Video I used to learn how to do sub-q. I watched some other guides as well, including one longer one going into more detail, but this was the video I kept checking over and over.

Hitting nerves can cause spasms like that

The cramps happen when I wake up (or the cramps wake me up), so it doesn’t sound like a nerve thing. However you mentioned dehydration, and when I wake up is when I’m at my most dehydrated.

You can also try incorporating more potassium rich foods in your diet

I already eat a lot of broccoli and I will try adding spinach and sweet potatoes as well.

I would try drinking more water and including some electrolytes

More water is difficult, but electrolytes and sodium is doable.

you could get a blood pressure monitor and use it at home and keep a log

Remembering and bothering to fill out any kind of log will be difficult for me, but it sounds like a good idea. I’ll try. Perhaps a general hrt log is the way to go.

you probably aren’t getting enough water from your food

I eat mostly veggies (they’re maybe not the wateriest kinds however), noodles, bread and cheese, lots and lots of eggs, and meat substitutes. I think my dinners at least contain decent amounts of water, unsure about my other meals. I think I drink enough? I drink probably 1-3 liters a day, but I don’t keep track.

I am not finding much about estrogen causing vasodilation

One study. A larger study. I haven’t actually read these, but a quick skim seems to suggest that estrogen promotes some kind of vasodilation or is at least involved. I found these in a reddit thread by searching “vasodilation” “estrogen” and “reddit”. It might not be relevant to my issues however (the reddit threads were talking about spider angioma), I can’t really interpret this kinda stuff.

I mentioned in another reply here that I was unsure where I got the term vasodilation from. This is the thread that suggested to me that my issues were related to my blood vessels. They don’t use the word, but somehow from there I got to vasodilation.

Thank you for taking the time to write this stuff <3 I will try to make some dietary changes, skip my next dose, and then have a chat with my doctor in two weeks.

I hope this doesn’t come across as condescending

Not at all! I posted this to hopefully figure out more stuff. I’m not a doctor and I expected to get some things wrong, and I very much appreciate your input <3

What length of needle are you using? Where are you injecting? […] the pain could be related to injection site soreness.

0.33 mm (29 G) x 12.7 mm insulin needles. In my thigh at 45 degrees per the video on the diywiki. I’m not an english speaker so I had to search around, the area that hurts is my calves, so I doubt it’s injection soreness.

deep vein thrombosis

I hope not! As I’m on monotherapy my levels are certainly higher than the levels of cis women, but I figured the risks of clood clots were long term, and I’ve only been on E for like half a year. No smoking or drugs. I’ve been very sedentary up until recently. I started doing a lot of walks and doing some semi-regular exercise, mostly focused on my legs. On average I take a walk a day (less during winter), and I’ve been doing this for a year. I’m unsure when I started exercising? One or two months ago? I suppose the exercise kinda lines up as well.

is anyone checking your estrogen levels? What dose of estrogen are you taking, and how often?

I did my first blood test for hormone levels last wednesday, but I haven’t received the results yet. I was gonna talk to my doctor about all this during the same appointment were I asked for the blood test, but he was away on holidays so I had some other random doctor as a substitute. I was not comfortable coming out to the substitute. I take 4mg every wednesday. I’ve taken 4-5 doses at this point. I took gel before this, but it was a bit of a mess in terms of how much I took and how often which isn’t good, so I figured injections were more my thing.

Estrogen does not dilate blood vessels

I might have been hasty. Found some mentions of weakened veins and leg pains being more common in women, and a reddit thread from a lady experiencing something similar after 4 months of hrt. I’m not sure where I got vasodilation from to be honest, but it got stuck in my brain.

I’m injecting in the thigh, alternating between left and right, with the discomfort being strongest the first two days after injection. I don’t know that the spasms are caused by the injections (I don’t think they are, I think they are related to estrogen, but that they started around the same time as I started injecting so I felt I had to mention it).

I do often wake up dehydrated despite drinking lots of water and might also have a potassium deficiency (I had a slight deficiency a year ago). I actually took a blood test a week ago which among other things checked my creatine levels and they were on the low side as well. I will be looking into this, thank you.

I had something which was probably vasoconstriction when taking ADHD meds prior to starting hrt which was so uncomfortable and painful I had to stop. I tried the medication again after HRT and the side effects had significantly lessened, but this could be for any number of reasons. The side effects from the stims affected both legs, but the left leg was affected more.

I don’t regularly check my blood pressure and doubt I have records of earlier tests to compare to unfortunately.

Estrogen is known to be linked to vascular function and increases the risks of vasodilation or at least to certain vascular issues, per my light skimming of the web at least. This is not to say that it is something most people have to worry about.

My pet theory is that I have some sensitive vasculature or whatever the proper term is in my left leg causing changes from stims and estrogen to be extra noticeable, but if it’s just a diet thing then that would be a huge relief.

I’m doing subq for monotherapy.

Non binary covers a range of identities. Some feel like neither man nor woman is a good fit for them, or that they don’t really identify with the concept of gender at all. Others partially identify with one or both of the “binary” genders. It can be difficult to understand a feeling, sensation, or identity which you have no basis for understanding or if as you say there is something stopping you from properly considering it.

Like others I would recommend experimenting with your identity to see if there’s something that feels comfortable to you. Perhaps there are LGBTQ+ spaces you could safely join where you live? Or perhaps there are online spaces like this one you could hang out in? Reading and talking about identities can be very helpful. Check out the links in the sidebar as well if you haven’t already, especially the gender dysphoria bible.

Love your hair !

They would have known this if they bothered to open the surgery regret rate studies I linked them (but we both know studies won’t change their minds). For the lazy it’s less than 1% for both transmascs and transfems.

Kids are never offered “life changing surgeries”. This doesn’t happen. Evidence very much suggests being trans is a genuine neurological condition that we are born with.

Our brains match our gender.

Brains are not necessarily binary.

We understand some of the causes.

“Risk” of being born trans seems to be partly genetic.

Our identities are stable.

The American Academy of Pediatrics is on our side.

Adults don’t regret surgery. And another study on the same.

Additionally, getting a diagnosis is a long process (and it’s not guaranteed that you’ll get one), and then actually getting treatment takes even more time (also not guaranteed).