I’m experiencing so many conflicting emotions right now. Horrified, amused, enthusiastic, resigned…

There’s smoke coming out of my ears, and I smell a burning clutch from constantly shifting gears.

No, but it didn’t matter anyway. That area wasn’t known for earthquakes. By the time my brain got out of “WTF?” mode, it was over.

The worst was also the funniest. An earthquake hit while I was on the toilet.

Everybody wins

In my case, a sack of White Castles.

Simple, short term pleasures, abandoning of long term plans, and taking comfort in the fact that I have not (and will not) bring children into this world.

Smartass remarks aside, you have my sympathies.

Oh, Texas. Your power grid is an endless source of amusement (for people who don’t have to rely on it, of course).

People who don’t know/acknowledge the difference between “free speech” and “hate speech”