Oh no, cover your ears, poor innocent American! You heard nothing.

This is almost as bad as when we had to carpet bomb another village to a crater last week to prevent the public from finding out that …

^{women have nipples too}

Only until Trump is no longer the GOP’s darling. As soon as his grip on the Republican party’s balls is no longer all-encompassing, it’ll turn out that nobody ever really liked him or knew him at all and they actually were never really with him to begin with. Donald who again?

And even if he had been found guilty of a crime, then it would just have been a rigged trial. Innocence thus proven. Checkmate, laws.

Hey! HEY! That is a vile insinuation! They’d never do that and also they only suppress votes for the other party and those don’t count anyway, so what if they do it when it’s perfectly fine seeing how they could never win if they allowed the election to be run fairly, and in conclusion, voter suppression is great and everybody should do it (except for non-republicans).

Wait, what were we talking about again?

What do you value higher - that one company’s profits or the public? Why are you so selfish? Why can’t you just be happy that that one company gets to hold the entire population hostage over the necessary good or service that they can then monopolise? It’s so much easier to squeeze the poor for all they own when their very survival depends on the things you can hand out or hold back at a whim. Something something the free market will probably prevent abuse or something, so it’s perfectly okay.

But he has money. If you’re rich, they let you do it.

Which oune wold yo souggest?

Bit slow in the frames-per-second department though.

I dunno… Still better ratings than the star wars star cruiser hotel thingie.

At least they can finally admit that they are not a car company.

Eh, just throw them over your shoulder and you’re good to go.

They’re only called stars if they grew up in the St. Arse region of France.

Your mom.

Wait, that doesn’t make any sense.

Wait, it not masking any sense has never deterred anyone from making a your mom joke, so it’s fine after all.

Wait, that’s actually a pretty grim appraisal of the state of what is considered to be humorous.

In that case, I’ll go with my sweatpants instead, if I may.

Not again.

Don’t worry, no danger of killing real people in the Middle East. All the “collateral damage” will be brown people, not Americans. They’ll have all the kinks ironed out and will make sure that the AI doesn’t hurt white targets before the technology is distributed to every national police district.

I wish post even deserved a /s.

These are called schools and universities and whatnot.

*Autounfall

*Kochpunkterhitzungstemperaturschreibgeilindiekommentarewenndudasverstehstbohnenerfrischungsgetränktasseninhalt

The regular process would be:

1. have idea for easy solution to known problem

2. think it through

3. realise that there more factors at play that would lead to other problems

Trump reaches stage 1 on a good day.

To be fair, he probably meant that only cops should be allowed to use violence with impunity, certainly not the… wink wink nudge nudge… “urban people”.