What a weird place some societies have come to.
Using technology as a surrogate for community.
Tea just suffered a massive data leak
Gotta be a special type fuckbrain to give this app a photo and a copy of your gotdamn ID.
<sarcasm>Else how can you certify you are a woman ? We don’t want a man lurking around</sarcasm>
Yeah that’s what the article is about
There is a video in the article, where a a woman says “are we dating the same guy?”. Like women don’t date multiple men.
Apart form that, things never say secret, soon or later will come out.
“He’s a cheater,” Walker said, reading some of the comments on one post out loud.
“What clubs does he go to?” another person asked on a different post. “He’s cute.”
That illustrates the big problem…
Some guys are lying assholes and horrible people, but so are some women.
It’s not going to take long for them to get massively sued, there’s no way they’re vetting the posted info, and it’s literally cyber bullying.
The guy (yes it’s a guy) who made and owns this is a fucking idiot for not seeing the lawsuits coming.
Outside of the crap going on in the US fascist resurgence, women are generally defined as a minority that requires equity / special benefits and protections. Making an app to “protect women” by crowdsourcing information about potentially predatory / negative men is viewed as ‘good’, and would likely be ‘ok’ by many western country standards.
Making an app about women, with similar ‘experiences’ reported by guys, would be considered predatory, and would get shut down.
We can already see plenty of related things out and about – like “women only” companies getting applauded by govt / media, while the same sources shame any business that doesn’t attempt to get 50%+ women on staff. We shut down gentlemen’s clubs for being discriminatory, but we cheer women’s only spaces. Genders are not treated equally in the public’s eye, and it generally skews in favour of benefiting women at this point, especially once it hits media/govt/courts.
I think this is the more realistic take on how it’d play out.
Some guys are lying assholes and horrible people, but so are some women.
and some guys anonymously posing as women online to undermine the competition.
Lol, reminds me of a different thread about trump pretending to be a woman and writing into newspapers:
“Based on the fact that I work for Donald Trump as his secretary—and therefore know him well—I think he treats women with great respect, contrary to what Julie Baumgold implied in her article … I do not believe any man in America gets more calls from women wanting to see him, meet him, or go out with him. The most beautiful women, the most successful women—all women love Donald Trump.”
Carolin Gallego December 7, 1992. (Not a realperson)
https://mashable.com/article/donald-trump-carolin-gallego-new-york-magazine-letter
JFC, as if this guy wasn’t already the poster child for cringe.
Also he wrote then like AI writes now.
Posted yesterday about how he was the late night show’s favorite target back in the day. FFS, does no one remember Trump: The Board Game! Or when he insisted everyone refer to him as “The Donald”?
Here’s Obama tearing him a new asshole:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHckZCxdRkA
And that’s how we got President Trump!
—
Did he use GPT?
says right at the end: this is from 1992
Some salty content here for no reason.
Nobody is writing about you, misogynists of Lemmy, because nobody is dating you.
It’s absolutely crazy to assume that anyone who sees the obvious issues with this app is a misogynist
From just a privacy perspective having people freely share photos, videos, and info you may have never even uploaded to the internet and compiling a community driven profile despite not opening an account there is creepy.
It’s fine if it’s community driven profiling among members who chose to voluntarily create an account understanding the terms and conditions. Like if a social media called meowmeowbeans was created, and people who want that extra safety decided to only associate with people on meowmeowbeans and would tell people I only meet people who are on meowmeowbeans so make an account and get verified if you want to meet. If you won’t then I want nothing to do with you.
I’d rather meowmeowbeans socially pressure people who want to associate with meowmeowbeans users have to voluntarily become meowmeowbeans verified as opposed to this form of information sharing that people haven’t consented to and having pages dedicated to them that people are using to discuss them.
This is Lemmy after all and not instagram, TikTok, or Facebook where people are encouraged to share their personal information. And more tech leaning, so people are going to be less open to the idea of a database popping up encouraging people to contribute any photos, videos, and personal information on random individuals to create profile pages for people who never signed up. Whether it is big tech or individuals insisting data collection and making a public profile is for safety its going to be seen with skepticism.
Gender doesn’t have to do with it, since there isn’t a law exempting specific genders from this and a site encouraging people to add info to a profile could be made for any reason. Like a similar site being made where members are asked to share information about political ideology of individuals they know and to share stories and evidence.
Two wrong don’t make one right.
There is not and will never be any valid reason to create a hidden database of non-verified, non-authorized and potentially defamatory information about other people.
Yes, that’s the sane way to deal about it.
How crazy do you have to be to listen to hollywood stories and let strangers into your house.
For what, because you think they’re cute ? That’s just an easy way to take up with a knife in your back.
Never. Trust. Anyone. Ever.
Friendly reminder that Facebook started as FaceMash, an app for men at Harvard to rate the attractiveness of women.
Both are bad. At least these women are nominally using it for safety and not just looks rating.
Finally, I would be really darn cautious of using any app like FaceMash or Tea. Seems like a great way to get sued for defamation. Or to become the target of escalated behavior of one of the bad ones.
I know one of the false electors from the 2020 election. They met their wife on Hot or Not.
Kinda wild that app stores allow something like that. I wonder how long it’ll take for someone to build the same up, but with the roles reversed: Men anonymously talking about local women 😬
Android users report the app here: https://support.google.com/googleplay/answer/2853570?hl=en&co=GENIE.Platform%3DAndroid#zippy=%2Cflag-an-app-on-google-play
honestly I doubt it’ll do anything but it can’t hurt to try
Of course they would. It’s only allowed as long as the genders aren’t flipped.
In theory it should be fine the problem is women always assume bad intent on the part of men, and good intent on the part of other women despite a fairly obvious fact that that’s ridiculous.
The problem is there doesn’t seem to be any system in place for review or correction. What if there someone who just doesn’t like me and posts photos and lies about me? Not only would I have no opportunity to correct the record, but unless someone I knew who was on the app told me about it, I wouldn’t even know because men aren’t allowed on.
As someone who’s stayed away from creating accounts like Facebook the concept of being encouraged to share photos and real identities of people who haven’t consented to being on the social media site is really creepy to me.
Its like some random social media account shows up and you never signed up but a profile for you has already been made and has all these photos you never even shared on there because someone chose to upload them in your place.
I’d rather people choose not to associate with people who don’t have an account that has vetted on safety than be opted into something like this without choice.
Its like some random social media account shows up and you never signed up but a profile for you has already been made and has all these photos you never even shared on there because someone chose to upload them in your place.
Facebook literally does this, they just never let you see it, it’s internal for advertising purposes
That’s data collection versus an active public profile.
There was a forum in the Benelux that did exactly that and they had to shut down.
If I was going to make something like this, it would have to incorporate trust chains. I don’t care if some maga-hat says this lady is horrible. I care if my good friend Alex says she’s horrible. One person’s “this person won’t shut up about communism” is a big red flag (no pun intended) but for someone else that’s the dream.
When you sign up, you’d need to be referred to someone or be a root node. Anyone connected to you can be weighted differently. If some section of the tree is misbehaving, prune it.
But that’s a lot of work
Same thing should be done with product reviews, and social media comments, etc., etc.
Really if someone makes a robust way to have a trust chain that integrates into the Internet at large, that would prevent a whole universe of problems we have in modern society.
It makes me super uneasy. I can easily see this type of model being expanded and applied to more and more things.
Call for a refund because something you ordered never showed up? Wrong trust chain, you’re automatically lying, refund denied.
Report someone for T-boning you? Wrong trust chain, you’re now arrested for hitting them.
Etc…
As with all technology, applying it in the wrong circumstances causes more problems than not.
It’s less about technology and more about evading accountability, I’d say. This would be a sort of cyberpunk version of “How dare you accuse the baron’s son of tipping your cows?! He’s a fine upstanding young man, so of course these accusations are groundless.”
I like where you’re going with this!
Finally i have a way to explain my feeling about this. This is just yelp for people. Yet another attempt to rate people. Didn’t Candance owebs try to make something like this years ago but for reporting racists?
This kind of thing has been done before.
For example:
There’s no way a libel database could be a bad business model
From the first one
One profile the New Times uncovered supposedly of a philandering ex-boyfriend was actually a gay man who had spurned a woman’s advances.
Some of the men’s comments on here venting about how rough they had it dating really need to listen to women’s dating stories more often. The level of violence does not compare.
violent assholes make things worse for both men and women. Women for obvious reasons and men because women have to be more wary.
I don’t want you to take me badly, but to me this comment sounded really demeaning. Obviously women have it way worse than men, but you see a comment with a men venting about their personal experiences and the first thing that comes to mind is “women have it worse”?
I could understand this comment in the context of the app, and how people are making fun of it when its purpose is to try to solve such a common and awful problem in dating–but in the context of the comments of men venting here, it really just sounds like you’re invalidating their experiences just because they’re not women.
and the first thing that comes to mind is “women have it worse”?
Yes, because I’ve seen it and I had to intervene way more than I ever wanted to. We’ve had our fair share of violent domestic disputes in the family perpetrated by the men, I’ve seen it out on the streets, and lately, I’m watching all these videos of stories of women online who feared for their safety.
I’ve seen women mistreated in public, some being threatened with their lives, I’ve had family members impregnated against their will, my neighbor was literally choked on the street outside my window, a woman being held at gunpoint by their partner (I was there), and I’ve found out through gossip that the little girl I used to live with when I was a kid was found dead in a fucking ditch because of an ex. So yeah, I have no pony in this race as a man dating men, and yet I have plenty of reasons to think straight women have it way worse.
sounds like you’re invalidating their experiences
No, I’m comparing the grievances, which are perfectly valid and understandable on their own, but they’re completely different in how they weigh on the motivation for creating such an app. Those grievances sound a little weak as an argument for this “flip the genders” crowd.
Like, it really sucks that a woman led you on but ultimately turned you down for someone else and you’ve spent the last decade mulling over it, but it isn’t quite the same as getting a brick thrown through a window a few times as part of a campaign of terror orchestrated by a salty coke-head ex who won’t leave you alone and the police seem too eager to keep letting it happen. Which is what happened to my little sister for years. So yeah, kinda different when you factor in the readiness to go violent.
In my comment I said:
I could understand this comment in the context of the app
And the whole reason why I commented was because I’d misunderstood your comment. I’d thought it was separate from the post itself, since you hadn’t made it clear that the purpose of your comment was to say something like: “So despite the consequences it might have to the men featured in the app, it should still exist due to the benefit that it would bring to women”. Without that, to me, it really just looked like you’d read the stories from the men and thought “women have it worse”.
Since I’m now inside the discussion, I’m gonna give you my two cents.
I think that most people here weren’t really mad at the app due to its purpose. They were mad because it’s far from a perfect solution. Regardless of how much protection the app has, at these issues will exist:
- Leaks can happen
- Women can lie
- Men can infiltrate the app
Not to mention that, in this case, the creator was a man and the information protection was laughably bad.
In the future, apps like this one might become a must for women’s self-protection, but that doesn’t mean that the app’s issues will just cease existing. Pointing them out along with personal experiences to back them up, and then weighing in the pros and cons is always going to be very important.
Might’ve made myself a bit unclear, here’s a tl;dr
I thought you’d meant
This bad situation happened to me
Women have it worse
But what I’ve realized what you’d meant is
This bad situation happened to me
But that doesn’t mean that the app shouldn’t exist
And to finish, sorry that that happened to you. I hope you and the people you talked about stay safe.
I see, thanks for elaborating. And yeah, I’m not talking about the app itself because it’s a little iffy given how people are drawn to gossip and revenge, but about the people in the comments giving their personal stories that sound traumatic but, like, not “make an app to avoid your potential killer” levels of traumatic.
What I think really needs to happen is we take a Ryder truck full of ANFO to the idea that sex must come from abject strangers found on the internet.
Dating apps are very obviously a failed experiment. If you use one, you deserve everything you get.
Boom, downvoted for being aware that 95% of violent criminals are male and domestic abuse is no different.
Pretty much! I was half expecting it, so all good.
Clueless.
Women are insanely violent and abusive to men, just not so much physically.
My government issued a report a few years back that estimated male vs female domestic abuse rates to differ in about one order of magnitude.
Also, for every one tragic story about one man’s abuse I have about ten more from women.
It’s lopsided in both quantity and severity, don’t even.
Make that two orders of magnitude and I’ll believe it.
Do they need to?
Yes. Everyone should listen to everyone else. And as a man, I promise you women have it wayyyyyy worse. I definitely won the gender lottery. Sorry ladies and Godspeed.
Spoken by someone who has clearly never been emotionally abused by a woman. Not all violence is physical. “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”.
Spoken by someone who has also been emotionally abused by men, mind you. These women and I have a common subject, and the last one almost turned violent for me.
I could also go on about emotional manipulation by men if you’d like, but that’d be on top of all the violence.
Thank God we have the GDPR in Europe.
I imagine there are whatsapp groups for things like this.
But I’m going to pretend they don’t exist because I already feel self-conscious enough.
Many states in the US have similar regulations. For example, California’s regulations are famously similar to GDPR.
What other states other than California has it?
If you think about it: The GDPR applies to all data of EU citizens regardless of where they are or where you are. There is no way that this app is not having some EU guy in New York in it and therefore totally in violation of GDPR
The treaties and international laws between these countries absolutely allow the EU to enforce GDPR against companies and individuals outside of the EU if it involves an EU citizen as the victim. I know this because I have to work with it every day and I’m from the US.
No European law applies outside Europe. That’s kind of the nature of laws.
That’s the big part of what makes GDPR so wide-reaching and impactful. It protects European residents, not European IP addresses. If you’re a resident of Europe, you’re covered under GDPR. Even if you’re visiting the US. That’s why even Americans get GDPR questions when visiting sites, because the site can’t just filter by IP location to determine whether or not you need to be shown the GDPR prompt.
Enforcement can be trickier, sure. But to be clear, GDPR does cover non-European companies as long as they’re interacting with a European resident.
Wrong. US citizen while in EU falls under GDPR. EU citizen while anywhere outside of EU falls under GDPR.
It is up to EU to enforce it.
That’s kind of the nature of laws.
Other users have written about GDPR, but just FYI: There are a lot of laws that apply worldwide. You might not like it, but states really do have laws in place that they are applying to everybody in the world. Thailand has draconian laws about insulting their king and they totally do not care if you insulted him inside or outside of the country. They can’t arrest you whereever you are, but if you ever try to visit Thailand, you will get arrested. And many countries also have laws in place about stuff that their citizen do outside of the country.
And what is the EU going to do about it? Governing bodies can declare extraterritorial laws all they want, but they are meaningless unless they have a way to enforce them.
This is psychotic.
This is a nightmare. Some mentally deficient vigilante with delusions of grandeur and a fist full of painkillers would use this as a hit list.
.Oh great another centralized repository of data about people (uploaded without their knowledge or consent in the case of the men) that definitely won’t be abused by bad actors
Anddddd…, it’s already been breached: https://www.404media.co/women-dating-safety-app-tea-breached-users-ids-posted-to-4chan/
Saw that coming.
It’s even mentioned at the top of the linked article.
Tea, which topped the Apple App Store charts this week — shortly before the app was hacked.
Yeah, it sounds like some well intentioned but extremely misinformed and unskilled (in the context of software and systems engineering) people just vibe-coded the thing together, and (shocked pikachu) it was a complete piece of shit security-wise.
Oooooooooof
This post is directly under a post about the breach in my feed.
