idk just a random scenario stuck in my head

  • You retain all intelligence.
  • You must have confirmation yourself that your message reached the president.
  • You can’t pick human as your animal.
  • The president as referring to Joe Biden. Other country presidents are accepted though.
  • JakenVeina@lemm.eeEnglish
    0·
    6 months ago

    Whatever primate would have enough hand coordination to write, and/or use sign language. “We found a monkey that can communicate in perfect English, and is asking to speak to the President” is bound to make big headlines.

  • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.world
    0·
    6 months ago

    I’d turn into a big old land tortoise and then just be a turtle.

    Benefits:

    • strong shell
    • feets for marching
    • cute tail bump
    • adorable smile
    • can flip friends over when they need help
    • turtle
  • Nikku772@kbin.social
    0·
    6 months ago

    I’d think any kind of endangered animal, to ensure I’m not killed for sport or something, but also big enough to not be anythings food. Elephant maybe or bear? From there, it’s easy, since I’d be able to kinda write as both of those, start writing messages. If I’m in the wild, go to a camp area or trail humans use a lot, leave messages everywhere until someone records me writing them. At that point, I’m sure some kind of government scientist would want to know why and how I know English. Then tell them I want to talk to the president as I’m actually an alien.
    Do I turn back that moment? If so this is gonna be awkward, but I also just turned from an animal to a human… so maybe it would add to my alien story.

  • CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world
    0·
    6 months ago

    • Does the president have to understand the message, or just receive it?

    • Do I know how to use the animal’s skills (e.g. flying) instinct without learning?

    • Is my fight or flight response the same as for human me, or do I inherit that from the animal also? (E.g. as a cat am I terrified of dogs?)

  • AlolanYoda@mander.xyz
    0·
    6 months ago

    My country’s president is clearly heading towards dementia. I’d be a crow, they can just speak, so I’d simply fly to him and tell him. He’d probably believe me, no questions asked.

    • rbn@sopuli.xyz
      0·
      6 months ago

      Couldn’t you just draw in the sand with a stick? I think if there’s an ape who’s fluent in English handwriting that would make it to the news pretty fast.

  • morgunkorn@discuss.tchncs.deEnglish
    0·
    6 months ago

    I’d become a loving purring cat and would look for a household that would treat me like I treat my cats right now. They’re the 1% of the animal kingdom, might as well get the animal life I won’t ever get as a human. Not even trying once to do the president quest.

  • NegentropicBoy@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    6 months ago

    Dog. Go around being surprisingly helpful to people, become famous, visit President, write message very clumsily with a pencil in my mouth, sell rights to movie, profit.

  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
    0·
    6 months ago

    Parrot, probably the African Grey. Because you can talk. Being a talking bird with a heck of a vocabulary asking to get a message to the president is probably going to get the White House social media office’s attention, and maybe then the president.

    Kinda cheating, but that would probably work.

    • bionicjoey@lemmy.ca
      0·
      6 months ago

      OP said you retain your own intelligence, so I don’t see why a parrot would be any better than any animal with lips and vocal chords that could theoretically support humanlike speech.

  • kromem@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    6 months ago

    I’d be the President’s dog. And then I’d just need to get their attention at that point, so I’ll keep biting his secret service agents until finally they start to wonder what’s up. It shouldn’t take more than 3 or 4 bites for people to realize I’m trying to send a message, right?