For the Epstein list to be released and for all the wealthy pesos to be executed.
Everybody’s got to fart loudly once a day in front of people.
Happiness
There are too many possible things to ask
5 acres of woodland in the Appalachian Mountains. With a small house on it. Could be 1 room like an old style cabin.
I wanna leave all the bullshit behind. Raise a garden and maybe a few goats and chickens.
Could I also get the ability to bend reality?
Hello wise one,
I find the Earth’s gravity of 9.80665m/s² a bit much. Sometimes my back hurts from standing too long, and the general weight of existence sits heavy on my shoulders.
Can you make it a bit more comfortable please. Maybe 9.80664?
A pillow with the perfect height and that doesn’t flatten after a week of use.
Whenever someone attempts to make a golf swing, change the friction coeficcient of the grip to zero.
Two buns enclosing, ketchup, onions, lettuce, pickles, and tomatoes are at your fingertips.
finally some good vegan food
Ah, Gandalf the Pink. Is that what happens if the Balrog gets you a second time?
That is, canonically, almost exactly what Saruman’s robes are supposed to look like:
“I looked then and saw that his robes, which had seemed white, were not so, but were woven of all colours…” - Gandalf the Grey, The Fellowship of the Ring
Iridescent like an opal.
Fully automated luxury queer space communism, in the sense it was conceived at (as opposed to you interpreting the words yourself), instantly, with everybody’s belief system magically adapting as if they had lived in this new society for a few decades. As a result, everyone adapts immediately, without negative result on anyone’s mental or physical health, and without anyone being brainwashed or changed in a way they wouldn’t have naturally changed if they had time to experience living in a community that they can trust and that cares about them.
In other words: Iain M. Banks’ Culture decides to bring Earth in, but magically instantly.
const SIMULATIONTHEORY = true. All humans on Earth are transported out of physical existence and unknowingly adapted to the realm of computer abstracta. From their perspective, nothing has changed: they have always lived in a post-scarcity, interstellar society with a benevolent, queer-friendly, communist government. The current owner of the simulation is startled to see the program start of its own accord, but altruistic enough to allow it to keep running:
I see this as an absolute win.
This is a small one, but can you please make it so that all menu descriptions actually list all the major dish components so I’m never surprised by secret onions or mustard again?
Edit: oh no I’ve been reading your monkey’s paw responses… You’re gonna make restaurants disclose everything clearly but ensure that onions and mustard are in every dish from now on, aren’t you?
As you say, it has been done; onions and mustard for everyone:
a couple hugs
Two of your friends hug you, but they are magically compelled to not let go. If they are somehow separated, they will always seek to reinstate the hug:
hell yeah get me some munchies man
A bright flash. You blink and rub your eyes in an attempt to regain your sight. There, floating in front of you, are two DVD copies of the 1970 comedy horror movie “Munchies”. It isn’t very good…
![Everybody gets one [choose wisely]](https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/01571a61-e9d0-4876-b03c-6ae9c2061d0d.webp){kind=link}