Sandwich bag full of shit placed in your shorts 2-6 hours from now. Then sit down firmly.
Or talk to the homeless guy in Walmart. He seems to have this one down pat.
You should ask Ted Nugent, he is an expert
I’m very glad that him being a pants sitting draft dodger, and later bragging about how great of a special forces guy he would have been is general knowledge.
Heh, a worldwide known fact. I am Dutch but when I read ‘shit + pants’ the answer always be that crusty pants mf.
This is easy. Google “miralax colonoscopy prep solution”
Enjoy!
Is there a taco bell near you?
he said 2 hrs not 2 minutes
Lookup “colon cleansing”.
Hairbo sugar free gummy bears
They said 2-6 hrs. Not 2-6 min
RemindMe! 6 hours “reply to this thread”
I hope that stupid bot doesn’t exist here
You asked for a reminder to: reply to this thread
Thanks. Try mineral oil.
Orally, anally, both?
Orally. It can take 6 hours for a bowel movement.
There’s this stuff they give you before a colonoscopy. I don’t know what it’s called but it will get the job done
Movieprep or kleenprep. I’ve had both and one definitely worked for me and the other only kicked in the morning off my endoscopy.
There’s these which are prescription only, but you can also down a bottle of magnesium citrate as an OTC alternative.
And as a bonus, the taste of magnesium citrate doesn’t make you gag like the prescription stuff.
Good ol magnesium shit-rate
Eat a large bucket of KFC and try your hardest? I love chicken rolled in bread -> deepfried as much as the next sane earthican, but man does my digestive system hate it with a furious burning passie.
Mainline dysentery infected blood
Eat a bag of sugar-free gummy bears or a half gallon of sugar-free ice cream. Another option as one other comment mentioned are those unregulated asian slimming teas that have questionable ingredients. The safest and most practical solution is a laxative used for colonoscopy prep.
Sugar free gummy bears will make you shit your pants in 2 hours. And in 3 hours. And in 4 hours. Etc.
Improperly cooked eggs or chicken can help
Depends on where you live, that could literally kill you. Salmonella are no joke.
100% Salmonella ain’t no joke!
Very potentially deadly! I’ve had it once, got lucky and only went half crazy and bleeding a bit from the inside and out…
Got food poisoning from an undercooked egg last week. Literally became a human fountain on BOTH ENDS, at the SAME TIME!! Never felt so… empty inside, literally.
Thanks God it’s not salmonella even though it dragged me halfway to hell. If salmonella is worse than that, I wouldn’t wish it for my worst enemies.
Salt water flush. You will shit continuously for two hours as your body tries to rid you of a dangerous amount of salt.
During this window, farts are lies!
I learned this during fasting they are like ‘eat broth’ well you can’t just put half a cup of better than bullion in a 1 liter nalgene and drink it. it tastes DELICIOUS but you shit your guts out every time until you figure it out
Holy shit, that ratio
The jar says add 1tsp to 8 oz water.
A liter is 33.8 fl.oz.
33.8 oz ÷ 8 oz = 4.2 tsp.
Half a cup is 24 tsp.
This is too many.
Am Crawfish, can confirm
Just relax homie, you got this. 💩
Milk of magnesia. You can get it at basically any drug store and it will make you fucking BLAST.
