For example:
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When you open a fresh jar of peanut butter do you only work through one side until it is completely empty then start on the other side?
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Or when you get those shallow tubs of hummus does it have to make it back home undisturbed? Then one of the baggers at the grocery store shoves it sideways into the bag completely ruining the symmetry.
Sandwiches should have their contents rearranged so they each bite has exactly the same amount of filling. If that cannot be done, the bites with the least filling should be eaten first and those with the most should be saved for last.
I bristle on the inside when my kids want a slice of bread for breakfast. Toast is for breakfast, and bread is for other meals. I don’t even actually care about this, but my dad did when I was a little kid and I clearly internalized that lesson.
Bought a fancy pizza the other day. They put zero thought into the distribution, instead opting for giant discs of goat cheese and spoonfuls of sauce spread about. Some bites were great, most were missing crucial ingredients for a pizza. Like sauce and cheese.
Friend, I feel this so hard. There are times a pizza should have this feature, but they are rare.
My rule is there are no rules. I like to eat dangerously and without borders.
I cut up pizza mozzarella so that each disk of mozzarella remains uncut. Sometimes it means extremely chaotic cuts. But the rationale is that cutting through molten cheese is extremely messy, so I avoid it if I can.
Also, Brussel sprouts are the best green vegetables.
Liquid dairy grosses me out, never puked but gagged a couple times. Cream, cream based sauces, melted ice cream (though if I eat it fast enough it doesn’t melt!), queso, but melted cheese on pizza is somehow ok.
It’s so dumb, I somehow conditioned myself.
Sort by color, then eat in order of worse to best. Only really applies to things like M&Ms and Skittles. It’s basically edging for the blue ones.
If you don’t eat that chicken wing clean, we can’t be friends.
You get one pass and that’s if you only take 1 wing.
I mean I get it but at the same time many of us do not like eating cartilage.
It’s why I don’t like wings, or most bone-in chicken.
Food cannot touch on the plate. Each item must have a clearly defined DMZ between it and its neighbors.
Man, I’m the complete opposite. I tend to mix everything. As a kid I would even shape some dishes into a smooth rectangle after first crushing the potatoes and mixing it with the rest.
I was this way as a kid. I’m not sure when I stopped caring.
Carry on with your DMZ, soldier.
Same. When I was young, I would RAGE if a pea so much as whispered to the mashed potatoes next to it. Now I reflect that I have bigger problems than this and don’t stress about it. Medication also helps. Somewhat.
A friend’s dad feels so strongly about this that he has cafeteria style trays so each food item can have its own little area walled off from everything else.
Flavour L
Always eat the pizza crust. If you don’t, I will.
People who don‘t eat th crust shouldn‘t be allowed to eat pizza. Don‘t like the crust? Don‘t eat pizza. Aren‘t hungry enough? Eat it with the crust an pack the rest.
Depends if the crust is good or not. Sometimes it’s just not worth it. There are some pizzas where the actual pizza is amazing and the crust is just boring as hell. Perplexing but I’m not going to force myself to eat something bland just because lol.
It’s okay, officer. I’m saving it for later.
I used to skip the pizza crust until I had a good pizza where the crust was just as good as the toppings.
That’s why I think people who don’t eat the crust haven’t had good pizza.
There is a huge difference in Italian pizza and whatever passes for pizza in some other countries. Anyone who doubts this needs to try an Italian / Sicilian pizza, it’s amazing.
The bread is much tastier, the ingredients pop in flavour and there is very little greasyness on the plate after eating it.
I thought we left the insufferable Internet Italians back on reddit.
Also authentic Napelese (sp?) pizza doesn’t taste like you are eating an entire loaf of bread with tomato sauce on top. And none of that gooey cheese dripping grease all over.
Username checks out
Any time I buy chips and dip I have to always work from the top of the dip down, trying to keep it level all the way down. I have no idea why I do this, but it drives me crazy otherwise. If someone else takes a chip and digs straight down to the bottom of the tub I just don’t want it anymore lol
I do this with ice cream
I am imagining the horrified look of the other people waiting to get some layered bean dip watch you take the top layer.
Well, a big shared dish of homemade dip is much different! I would never take the whole top layer off of a seven layer dip! My hangup is specifically about dips served straight out of the little tub from the grocery store lol
I do exactly the opposite, at least for shallow containers: I start at a side and go across, leaving the remainder untouched
Food should be finished at the same time. You work gradually around all of your sides and main dish so you have exactly one bite of each left, and then you finish your plate.
My SO drives me nuts because they can just eat the entirety of the main dish and then eat all of one side, and then all of another.
I’ve never seen anyone else ever do this and now I don’t feel as alone.
I eat this way and people look at me like I have two heads.
Eating one dish at a time ensures you’re getting the full, unadulterated experience of the dish.
But sides are made in consideration of the main course and are intended to be eaten/enjoyed together.
Why are side salads typically served before, and separate?
Because they are a separate course and not a side. They call it a side salad like Americans call the main dish an entree, we like to use words wrong.
Then the world is lawless chaos, and I can enjoy my meal one dish at a time.
Word meanings shift over 500 years, nobody is using “entree” wrong because it means different things in different cultures and has changed several times over the centuries. The way we serve and eat meals has also changed considerably.
https://languageoffood.blogspot.com/2009/08/entree.html?m=1
I like this write-up, it had plenty of historical examples.
I’ve never wished I could eat in front of another human being more than I do right now. I just really want to trigger you with this and I don’t know why.
Start with your favorite dish and when its gone move to #2.
That’s like ejaculating on someone’s face and then working your way to foreplay. If this isn’t against the Geneva convention it should be.
I never want to eat in front of anyone who has replied to you so far. I’m a chaos eater. Nothing exists besides the current bite. I didn’t remember what the last one was and haven’t decided what the next one will be.
I eat like your SO, though I do mix it up a little sometimes, but it’s because I’m saving my favorite thing for last. I don’t want to end up with my least favorite thing at the very end.
I’d like to introduce you to me - I eat the starch, then the veggies, then the protein. Order of preference, descending.
I always scrape my ice cream and cheese. If I get a nice piece of Gouda or cheddar and I’m feeling snacky then I will take a sharp knife and scrape it. I swear it’s so much creamier and smoother in your mouth, eating it normally makes it look like cardboard in comparison. Same thing with ice cream, scrape it with my spoon while serving.
What drives me insane is that my mom will literally take a bite out of the block. Even with Parmesan.
She’ll eat a bite directly out of the block of cheese other people were going to cut pieces off of?!
Yep. Once when I was cooking, I was about to cut into a block of cheddar until she reached her hand UNDER the knife to take one last deranged bite out of it.
Asparagus is finger food, no ifs or buts about it.
Anything can be finger food if you’re brave enough.
After that one incident, I can confidently say that habaneros are not a finger food.
When I eat soft candies, I always have to bite them into pieces in a specific way. Like if I have a cola bottle gummy, I will bite off the “cap” first. If I have a gummy bear, I will bite the bottom legs off, separate the head from the arms and then split the legs and arms from each other. The gummy cherries, always bite the stem off first. Gummy bats, the wings separate from the body. Gummy coins I usually try to split down the circle, i.e. splitting in two thinner coins.
Most of the time it’s just inside my mouth but sometimes I hold it in my hand and bite it off like that.
Also chocolate bars has to be eaten in the squares the bar is divided into. No splitting it across squares!
I read the first few words as soft candles and was so confused.
Bite their legs off first so they can’t run. Smart.
If I can’t eat a combination of the main dish and a side, the side doesn’t go with the main dish. Lucky for me, that is generally the case with most foods.
Desserts are the exception, but I don’t count them as sides.
At the risk of sounding like a monster, I can’t think of a single main/side I wouldn’t combo.
Can you give an example that doesn’t go together?
All I can think of off the top of my head would be different food styles in a buffet. Like sweet and sour chicken + sauerkraut or something along those lines. I love them both in their own context, but wouldn’t put them on the same plate at the same time.
I’m unfamiliar with a restaurant that would serve both sweet and sour chicken, and sauerkraut. Does one exist?
Food courts also often have varied options (pay by weight)
Hometown Buffet, back before it closed.
Their chocolate milk taught me how to burp on command. I remember sitting at the table and taking a big drink which suddenly gave me insight to how it would work, so I did and tossed the biggest belch I’d ever made out there on the table. My eyes went wide and I looked up at my parents and just yelled ‘I figured it out!’ Their faces of disgust slowly changed to faces of confusion while I was just laughing and cheering and belching.
It was a random example of two very different types of food types.
If I’m having pasta, the bowl always have a flat plate beneath, even if I don’t plan to eat another course after
